9 things you should never share at work—no matter how much you trust your coworkers

When I got my first corporate job, I came in with the mindset that being real and being respected weren’t mutually exclusive.

I didn’t overshare on day one — but I was warm, open, a little chatty. I joined the team happy hours. I answered honestly when asked how I was doing. And I assumed that if people seemed trustworthy, they probably were.

Big mistake.

It wasn’t dramatic at first. But slowly, I noticed little things shifting. Jokes about my personality becoming part of meeting banter.

A comment I’d made in confidence getting repeated in a completely different context. Subtle changes in tone from colleagues who once felt friendly. And worst of all, moments where my openness was used to quietly discredit me when opportunities came up.

That job taught me something I’ll never forget: trust at work is real—but it’s conditional, context-dependent, and rarely permanent.

Here are 9 things I learned (the hard way) not to share at work—no matter how close you think you are with your coworkers.

Not because people are bad. But because even good people protect themselves first when the stakes rise. And the things you casually reveal today may quietly shape how others perceive your professionalism tomorrow.

1. Your long-term career plans (if they involve leaving)

I once told a colleague I trusted that I was considering moving cities in a year or two. It felt harmless. I wasn’t applying anywhere.

But sure enough, a few weeks later, I stopped getting looped into big projects.

Someone casually mentioned that “Avery’s not planning to be here long term anyway.”

Even when your plans are vague, don’t share them too soon. People remember, and they adjust accordingly. If leadership senses you’re not fully invested, your opportunities may quietly dry up.

2. What you think of your boss’s leadership style

It’s easy to slip into venting mode, especially when you and a coworker have the same frustrations.

But here’s what I learned: that moment of shared catharsis? Temporary.

The quote they remember you saying later? Permanent.

People change teams. They get promoted. They pass comments on. Even if they agree with you, they might still distance themselves later to protect their own image.

If you need to process leadership frustrations, call a friend outside your org. Or write it down and delete it. Just don’t put it into workplace circulation—even among friends.

3. Details about your mental health you haven’t disclosed formally

Mental health should be a safe topic. But the workplace isn’t always as supportive as the HR handbook makes it sound.

I once mentioned I’d been struggling with anxiety to a kind colleague who later meant well by telling our manager, thinking it would help lighten my workload.

Instead, I got quietly taken off a project I loved and wasn’t told why until much later.

If you’re struggling, talk to HR or a therapist first.

Keep casual chats vague. You deserve support, but you also deserve control over how that narrative is shared.

4. How much you really dislike a coworker

There was a guy I worked with who regularly cut people off in meetings and took credit for shared work. I vented about him to a colleague I considered a friend.

What I didn’t know?

She considered him a friend too—and had no idea how to navigate the loyalty conflict.

Guess who found out I’d been “talking behind his back”? It didn’t go well.

Even if you think someone else is universally disliked, don’t assume silence equals agreement. You can set boundaries, document behavior, or go through the proper channels—just skip the interpersonal gossip.

5. Your side hustle (especially if it's creative or lucrative)

I’ve always had side projects—freelance writing, little e-commerce experiments, consulting here and there. And once, when I mentioned it to a few coworkers, it became all they asked me about.

Not in a curious, supportive way. In a “So are you even focused on this job?” way.

Even if your performance is strong, side hustles can trigger suspicion. People might question your loyalty, your energy, even your availability. If it’s not relevant to your work, keep it quiet. Or at least strategically quiet.

6. Your romantic drama (especially anything messy)

This is one of the easiest traps to fall into. We spend so much of our time at work, it’s natural to lean on coworkers when life gets emotionally heavy.

But the truth is: oversharing about your dating or relationship drama rarely lands well professionally.

I once shared a breakup story that involved crying in my car before a client call. Everyone laughed at the moment. But afterward? I noticed a shift.

People started softening around me, which sounds kind—but it felt like they were quietly lowering the bar.

Your vulnerability is valid. But know that once it’s out there, it may shape how others gauge your resilience, even if it shouldn’t.

7. How much money you make—or how much you want to make

This one’s complicated.

On one hand, pay transparency is important, and I believe in advocating for fair compensation. But the workplace isn’t always the right forum to air specific numbers—especially if your coworkers are on different pay scales.

I learned this after a teammate asked if I felt underpaid.

I said yes, and gave a number.

She was underpaid compared to me.

That conversation caused tension neither of us wanted—and both of us resented later.

Instead, talk about money in general terms or through professional networks outside your workplace. If you're pushing for a raise, direct the conversation to your manager—not your Slack DMs.

8. Your frustration with processes or policies you haven’t tried to fix

Complaining about how things work is easy. But if you don’t balance critique with contribution, people may start to see you as negative—even if your points are valid.

I used to vent about inefficient workflows or pointless reports. Eventually, someone said: “You’re smart. Why not propose a better system?” That was my wake-up call.

If you must vent, do it sparingly.

And if something genuinely bothers you, think about who can help you fix it before you bring it up as watercooler conversation.

9. Anything you’d only say off the record

If it comes with a whisper, a “don’t tell anyone,” or a glance over your shoulder—you probably shouldn’t be saying it at work. Even in trusted circles.

Even if everyone’s had a drink. Especially if it’s about someone else at work.

The line between casual and unprofessional gets crossed faster than you think. And you don’t want your reputation riding on how people retell your “off the record” comments—because you don’t get to be in the room to clarify.

A simple rule I now live by: if I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it repeated in a meeting or Slack channel, I don’t say it.

Final words: Friendly ≠ safe

You can love your coworkers. You can grow close, build real friendships, and even stay in touch long after you’ve left the job.

But while you’re still inside the system—still subject to hierarchies, biases, politics, and shifting alliances—you need to protect your professional narrative.

That doesn’t mean being cold or fake. It means choosing when and how to open up with intention. You’re allowed to have privacy. You’re allowed to keep parts of your life sacred.

And you’re allowed to protect your name, your boundaries, and your trajectory—no matter how much you like the people around you.

Because at the end of the day, the version of you people remember in the workplace isn't just the one who delivered results. It’s the one who respected the room, read the moment, and knew how to be both real and responsible.