These simple phrases can shift how people experience you, because when you speak with awareness, connection follows.
Let’s be honest, emotional intelligence isn’t about using complicated psychology terms or memorizing mindfulness quotes.
It’s about how you communicate in everyday situations.
The best part?
You can sound emotionally intelligent (and actually become more emotionally intelligent) simply by choosing your words with a little more care.
Here are ten phrases that subtly show empathy, confidence, and self-awareness without you having to force it.
Let’s dive in.
1) “I hear you.”
Three short words that can completely change the tone of a conversation.
When someone’s upset or frustrated, our instinct is usually to fix the problem.
But emotionally intelligent people know that sometimes the best response is simply to listen.
Saying “I hear you” tells the other person they have your attention and that their emotions matter.
It doesn’t mean you agree with everything they’re saying.
It just shows you respect their feelings.
I remember a time when a coworker was overwhelmed before a big presentation.
Instead of jumping in with advice, I said, “I hear you, that sounds stressful.”
She immediately relaxed.
What she needed wasn’t solutions. She needed understanding.
2) “That makes sense.”
This phrase is simple but powerful.
When you say “That makes sense,” you’re telling someone their reaction or opinion is valid.
It creates psychological safety.
You’re not dismissing or judging them. You’re showing empathy.
Of course, it only works when it’s sincere.
But when you mean it, this phrase can build trust faster than almost anything else.
Emotional intelligence often looks like giving others space to feel without trying to correct them. “That makes sense” is a perfect example of that in action.
3) “Can you help me understand?”
Instead of saying, “I don’t get it” or “That doesn’t make sense,” try this instead.
“Can you help me understand?” invites collaboration instead of criticism.
It shows curiosity, humility, and respect for the other person’s perspective.
Back when I worked as a financial analyst, I used this phrase often. When a teammate presented data that didn’t align with my expectations, I could have said, “That’s wrong.”
But saying “Can you help me understand how you reached that conclusion?” opened the door for dialogue.
More often than not, I learned something new.
Emotionally intelligent people don’t assume. They ask questions.
4) “I appreciate your honesty.”
Hearing difficult feedback can sting, but responding with “I appreciate your honesty” shows real maturity.
You’re telling the other person you value their openness, even if their message isn’t what you wanted to hear.
This phrase communicates that your ego doesn’t run the conversation.
And it encourages more honesty in the future.
Once, a friend told me I’d seemed distant lately. My first instinct was to defend myself.
But instead, I paused and said, “I appreciate your honesty.”
That one phrase turned a potentially awkward exchange into an opportunity for connection.
5) “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
Few phrases demonstrate emotional intelligence better than this one.
It’s a graceful way to admit that your perspective might not be the only valid one.
It shows humility and flexibility—two qualities that make people feel comfortable around you.
Saying “I hadn’t thought of it that way” communicates that you’re open to learning, not attached to being right.
Conversations are smoother when both people are willing to shift their view.
And the truth is, everyone appreciates being heard more than being corrected.
6) “Take your time.”
These three words carry a lot of emotional weight.
In a world where everyone’s rushing, “Take your time” is an act of kindness.
It says, “I’m not in a hurry. You matter more than the clock.”
When someone is nervous, struggling to express themselves, or processing emotions, this phrase gives them breathing room.
It also shows you’re emotionally steady and not ruled by impatience or anxiety.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding others—it’s also about regulating your own energy in the moment.
7) “I can see why you’d feel that way.”
This one goes beyond empathy and into genuine understanding.
When you say, “I can see why you’d feel that way,” you’re not only validating someone’s logic but also their emotions.
It’s a bridge between intellect and compassion.
Try saying this instead of “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not a big deal.”
The difference in reaction will surprise you.
When I volunteered at my local farmers’ market, there was once a mix-up with booth spaces that left one vendor upset.
I could have explained the policy, but instead, I said, “I can see why you’d feel frustrated.”
Her shoulders softened immediately.
People don’t want quick fixes; they want to feel seen.
8) “Here’s what I can do.”
This phrase blends empathy with healthy boundaries.
When someone asks for your help, it can be tempting to overcommit.
But “Here’s what I can do” communicates that you’re willing to help while staying within your limits.
It’s assertive without being cold, clear without being controlling.
I use it often when clients or editors ask for extra work at the last minute. It allows me to offer support while protecting my time and energy.
Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It means knowing your limits and expressing them kindly.
9) “I could be wrong, but…”
This is a magic phrase for disarming defensiveness.
Starting your opinion with “I could be wrong, but…” shows confidence balanced with humility.
You’re inviting discussion instead of setting up a debate.
It’s especially useful when offering feedback or sharing a different point of view.
Organizational psychologist Adam Grant often writes about “confident humility”—the idea that truly smart people recognize they might not have all the answers.
This phrase captures that mindset perfectly.
When you use it sincerely, it tells others you value truth and collaboration more than being right.
10) “Thank you for letting me know.”
Let’s end with one of my favorites.
When someone delivers unexpected or uncomfortable news, “Thank you for letting me know” is the emotionally intelligent way to respond.
Instead of reacting with frustration or defensiveness, you’re acknowledging their effort to communicate.
It shows grace, composure, and respect.
I remember when an editor once told me an article draft wasn’t quite hitting the tone they needed.
My first instinct was to explain myself, but instead I said, “Thank you for letting me know.”
That simple phrase kept the interaction calm and professional, and it made it easy to work together on revisions.
Responding instead of reacting is what emotional intelligence is all about.
Final thoughts
If you look at all these phrases, they have something in common.
They build connection by showing awareness—of yourself, of others, and of the emotions in the room.
Emotional intelligence isn’t about having perfect control over every situation.
It’s about being curious, compassionate, and composed even when things get uncomfortable.
The beauty of these phrases is that they don’t require any major effort. You can start using them today with your partner, coworkers, friends, or even strangers.
Because the way we communicate shapes how people experience us.
And when your words carry empathy and intention, people don’t just listen—they feel understood.
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