8 signs you're actually a very difficult person, according to psychology

Ever stopped to wonder why people seem to avoid your company or why your relationships never last? It could be that you're actually a very difficult person.

Now, being difficult is not necessarily a bad thing. It could mean you're just misunderstood or that people haven't taken the time to really get to know you.

But according to psychology, there are certain signs that indicate you might be more challenging to deal with than you realize.

Let me walk you through the 8 signs that show you're indeed a difficult person. And remember, it's never too late to change.

1) You're frequently argumentative

There's a fine line between healthy debate and being argumentative.

Psychology reveals that one sign of a difficult person is a tendency to constantly argue, regardless of the topic.

Being argumentative does not necessarily mean that you're standing up for what you believe in. It could also indicate that you're unwilling to consider other people's perspectives, which can make interactions with you quite challenging.

So, if you find yourself constantly in disputes, regardless of the topic or context, it might be worth considering whether you're being too combative.

Remember, it's okay to have different opinions, but how we express those differences can determine whether we're seen as assertive or difficult.

2) You struggle with empathy

Another sign psychology points out is a struggle with empathy.

I'll admit, this was a hard one for me to recognize in myself. Back in college, I remember my friends would share their struggles and instead of offering a comforting ear, I'd jump straight to trying to fix their problems.

It took a friend pointing it out for me to realize that I had been lacking empathy. I was so focused on finding solutions that I overlooked the importance of just being there and understanding their feelings.

So, if you often find yourself dismissing others' feelings or always jumping into problem-solving mode, it might be an indication of difficulty with empathy. Truly listening and understanding can make a world of difference in your relationships.

3) You're resistant to change

Change is an inevitable part of life. But for some, the thought of change can be daunting.

In psychology, this is known as neophobia or fear of new things. It's a trait that's actually quite common in animals, especially in birds and mammals. It's seen as a survival instinct because sticking to what's familiar can reduce the risk of danger.

However, in humans, excessive resistance to change can make one difficult to deal with. If you're constantly insisting on doing things the old way and refusing to adapt to new situations or ideas, you might be making life unnecessarily challenging for yourself and those around you.

4) You're often negative

Positivity attracts, while negativity repels. This is a fundamental rule of human nature.

Being constantly surrounded by negativity can be emotionally draining for others. If you find that your conversations are often filled with complaints, criticisms, or pessimistic views, it could be a sign that you're a difficult person to be around.

Remember, it's normal to vent or express discontentment from time to time, but when it becomes a regular pattern, it can create a toxic environment for those around you. Strive for a balance and try to focus on the positive aspects as well.

5) You struggle to apologize

We all make mistakes. It's part of being human. But what sets us apart is how we handle those mistakes.

Psychology tells us that a common trait of difficult people is struggling to apologize. Saying "I'm sorry" can sometimes feel like a blow to our pride, but it's essential for mending relationships and demonstrating empathy.

If you find it hard to admit when you're wrong or if the words "I'm sorry" rarely cross your lips, you might be more challenging to be around than you realize.

Remember, an apology doesn't make you weak – it shows that you value your relationships more than your ego. It's a sign of strength and maturity, and it can go a long way in improving your interactions with others.

6) You hold grudges

Holding onto past hurt or resentment is like carrying a heavy backpack around everywhere you go. I learned this the hard way after a falling out with a childhood friend. Years passed and instead of letting go, I held onto that anger.

Psychology suggests that holding grudges is a sign of a difficult person. It creates walls between people and prevents healing and growth. If you're someone who finds it hard to let go of past wrongs, it could be making your relationships more difficult.

Letting go doesn't mean forgetting or allowing people to walk all over you. It means choosing to move forward for your own peace and well-being. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

7) You're excessively critical

Constructive criticism can be beneficial; it's how we learn and grow. However, there's a difference between helpful feedback and constant criticism.

According to psychology, being excessively critical is a sign of a difficult person. If you often find yourself pointing out flaws or always focusing on the negatives, it can make your interactions with others challenging.

It's important to remember that everyone is on their own journey, and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Before passing judgment or criticism, take a moment to consider the impact of your words. Positive reinforcement can be far more effective and appreciated than relentless critique.

8) You lack self-awareness

Perhaps the most significant sign of a difficult person, according to psychology, is a lack of self-awareness.

If you're not aware of how your behavior impacts others, it's challenging to make positive changes. Self-awareness is the first step towards understanding and improving our interactions with others. It's not about self-criticism or judgment, but about acknowledging our actions and their effects.

As we develop self-awareness, we can better understand why we do what we do and how we can improve. It's a journey of personal growth that can lead to more satisfying relationships and a more fulfilling life.