The hobbies you gravitate toward may quietly reveal just how deeply you understand yourself—and others.
Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to “get it”? They read the room without effort, pick up on subtle emotions, and handle tense situations with ease.
That’s emotional intelligence at work—and it’s not as mysterious as it sounds.
In fact, research shows that those with high emotional intelligence tend to earn significantly more—an average of $29,000 more per year—compared to those with lower EQ .
But it’s not just about money. EQ shapes the way we connect, care, and carry ourselves through life.
Here’s the fun part: if you naturally enjoy certain everyday activities, it might be a clue that your EQ is higher than you think.
Let’s dive into seven pastimes that quietly reveal just how emotionally tuned-in you are.
1. Reading
There’s something powerful about getting lost in a book. It’s not just about escaping into another world—it’s about stepping into someone else’s shoes.
When you read, you practice empathy without even realizing it.
I remember one rainy weekend when I spent hours curled up with a memoir. By the end, I felt like I had lived a lifetime in someone else’s skin.
That’s the gift of reading: it stretches your ability to imagine what others feel, think, and struggle with.
And let’s be real—life constantly calls on us to do the same thing.
Whether it’s comforting a friend or navigating a tricky workplace dynamic, being able to see from another’s perspective is emotional intelligence in action.
2. Spending time in nature
Some people find their calm in crowded spaces. Others find it under the trees, with dirt under their fingernails or the sound of birds in the background.
If you’re drawn to nature, you already know it’s more than “fresh air.”
Nature teaches emotional presence. You notice small details—the way the light shifts at sunset, the rhythm of your own breath as you climb a trail.
That kind of noticing translates into relationships too. You become better at catching the subtle signs when someone close to you is hurting or when a coworker is quietly overwhelmed.
For me, trail running has been one of those grounding practices. It slows my racing thoughts and reminds me that my body and mind work together.
When we cultivate awareness outdoors, we carry it back into our human connections.
3. Volunteering
If you’ve ever offered your time to help someone else, you know it’s rarely about the task itself. It’s about connection. It’s about empathy.
And it’s about realizing that your own challenges are only one part of the bigger human story.
Whether it’s serving meals at a community center, mentoring a teen, or helping a neighbor with their garden, volunteering teaches you to tune into what other people need—not what you assume they need.
That difference is the heart of emotional intelligence.
As the American Psychiatric Association has noted, “Positive social connections have consistently been shown to support mental health and well-being” .
Volunteering is one of the simplest, most rewarding ways to build those connections.
4. Listening to music
Think about the last time a song stopped you in your tracks. Maybe it pulled up a memory, or maybe it named an emotion you couldn’t quite articulate yourself.
Music is one of the purest ways we process feelings.
I have playlists for everything—writing, running, even calming my nerves before a big presentation. Each one helps me check in with what I’m feeling in the moment.
And when we practice that kind of emotional awareness in music, we strengthen it in our conversations too.
It’s no accident that emotionally intelligent people are often drawn to music. They’re not just hearing lyrics and beats—they’re listening for the emotional currents underneath.
5. Journaling
Do you enjoy putting your thoughts on paper, even if no one else will ever read them? That habit is a clear sign of emotional intelligence.
Journaling gives you a private space to process feelings before they spill out in less constructive ways.
Instead of snapping at your partner after a stressful day, you’ve already untangled your frustration on the page. Instead of ignoring sadness, you’ve given it a name.
In my own notebooks, I’ve found clarity I couldn’t reach in conversation.
That’s the magic of writing things down—it helps you connect the dots between what you’re feeling and why. And emotional intelligence thrives on that kind of self-awareness.
6. Building close friendships
We all know someone who can walk into a room and instantly light it up. But emotional intelligence isn’t about popularity—it’s about depth.
If you naturally invest in a few close friendships, it says a lot about your EQ.
As Brené Brown has put it, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity”.
In other words, strong friendships don’t come from surface-level chatter—they grow from people daring to be seen, flaws and all.
Emotionally intelligent people know how to create that safe space. They listen without judgment, they share openly, and they aren’t afraid of awkward honesty.
It’s not about having dozens of friends; it’s about having a handful of people who truly know you.
7. Reflecting on emotions
Some people push their feelings aside, hoping they’ll disappear. Others—maybe you—sit with them, ask questions, and learn from what shows up.
This reflective habit is a hallmark of emotional intelligence. It doesn’t mean wallowing or overthinking.
It means recognizing emotions as messengers. Anger might point you toward a crossed boundary. Anxiety might remind you to prepare more carefully. Sadness might signal what you deeply value.
When I first read Laughing in the Face of Chaos by Rudá Iandê, one line stopped me cold:
“Our emotions are not barriers, but profound gateways to the soul—portals to the vast, uncharted landscapes of our inner being.”
His insights pushed me to stop treating emotions as something to “fix” and start treating them as teachers.
That shift has changed the way I move through hard days—and it’s something I often encourage others to try too.
Final thoughts
So, do a few of these pastimes sound familiar?
If so, you’re probably already exercising your emotional intelligence in ways you didn’t even realize.
The beauty is, EQ isn’t just about handling others—it’s about knowing yourself, too.
It’s about noticing when your energy dips, when joy sparks, and when connection matters most.
And like any skill, it grows with practice. Whether through books, music, friendships, or simply sitting with your own emotions, every small step deepens your understanding of yourself and others.
The truth is, emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real.
And the more you lean into the pastimes that nurture that, the more you’ll thrive in relationships, work, and life itself.
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