Psychology says the most dangerous thing a person over 65 can do is have nothing to look forward to

A few years ago, I watched my parents settle into retirement and slowly begin to fade.

Not physically — not at first, anyway. But something shifted behind their eyes. The alarm clock stopped ringing. The calendar emptied. And without anything pulling them forward into tomorrow, they started drifting.

My dad would sit in the same chair for hours. My mum pottered around the house doing small tasks that didn't really need doing. They weren't unhappy exactly, but they weren't alive in the way they used to be. They had no plans, no trips booked, no projects on the go. Nothing to look forward to.

And that's when I started to worry. Because the research on this is brutally clear.

Having nothing to look forward to can literally shorten your life

A major study published in JAMA Network Open followed nearly 7,000 American adults over the age of 50 and found that those with the strongest sense of purpose in life had significantly lower mortality rates than those without one. We're not talking about a marginal difference. People in the lowest purpose category died at measurably higher rates across the board — from heart disease, digestive conditions, and other causes.

Let that sink in. Not having something to live for didn't just make people feel bad. It was associated with dying sooner.

And it's not just one study. A 14-year longitudinal study using data from over 7,000 participants in the Midlife in the United States survey found that having a sense of purpose predicted greater longevity across all age groups. Younger adults, middle-aged adults, older adults — it didn't matter. Purpose was protective regardless of whether someone had retired or was still working.

A separate study from Rush University Medical Center looked at over 1,200 older adults without dementia and found that those with higher purpose in life had a 40% reduced risk of death over a five-year period, even after adjusting for age, sex, education, and race.

Forty percent. That's not a rounding error. That's a massive gap between people who have something pulling them forward and people who don't.

Why "nothing to look forward to" is so dangerous after 65

Here's the thing most people don't realize about retirement: it doesn't just take away your job. It takes away structure, identity, social connection, and — crucially — anticipation.

The National Institute on Aging has identified retirement as one of the key risk factors for social isolation in older adults, alongside the death of a spouse, loss of mobility, and lack of transportation. And isolation isn't just lonely. It's dangerous. Research spanning over four decades shows that social isolation carries a mortality risk comparable to smoking and obesity.

About 24% of community-dwelling adults over 65 in the United States are considered socially isolated. Among Americans aged 60 and older, 43% report feeling lonely. These aren't just sad statistics. They represent millions of people sitting in quiet houses with nothing on the horizon.

What makes this especially cruel is how the brain works. Neuroscience research published in Frontiers in Psychology found that when people anticipate positive future events, the medial prefrontal cortex — a brain region tied to self-reflection and reward processing — lights up. And the stronger that activation, the higher a person's reported wellbeing.

In other words, looking forward to something good literally changes your brain chemistry. It releases dopamine. It makes you feel more alive. And when there's nothing on the calendar to anticipate? That neurological reward system goes quiet.

Research from the Journal of Experimental Psychology has even shown that anticipating a positive event generates more positive emotion than remembering one that already happened. The excitement of a trip you're planning does more for your mental health than the memory of the trip you took last year.

That's a powerful insight. It means the future isn't just something that happens to you. It's a psychological resource. And when you stop investing in it, you lose access to one of the most potent wellbeing tools your brain has.

What I watched happen with my parents

Back to my mum and dad.

For a while, the emptiness of their retirement scared me. I could see the slow withdrawal happening in real time. They were healthy people who suddenly had no reason to get up in the morning with any urgency.

But here's the good news — and the reason I'm writing this article. They turned it around.

It didn't happen overnight. It started small. My mum signed up for a cooking class. My dad joined a walking group. Then they booked a trip — nothing fancy, just a short holiday up the coast. But suddenly there was a date circled on the calendar. Something to prepare for. Something to talk about.

And that changed everything.

One trip turned into another. The cooking class led to dinner parties with new friends. The walking group became a regular part of my dad's week. They started planning months ahead, always making sure there was something coming up they could get excited about.

Today, my parents travel regularly. They've got a social life that puts mine to shame, honestly. They're engaged, energized, and connected. The difference between who they were in those first drifting months of retirement and who they are now is night and day.

What changed wasn't their health or their finances. What changed was that they started building anticipation back into their lives.

The Buddhist perspective on living forward

In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism, I write about how Buddhist philosophy emphasizes the importance of intention. In Pali, the word is cetana — the deliberate direction of the mind toward something meaningful.

Buddhism doesn't ask you to cling to the future or obsess over outcomes. But it does recognize that a mind without direction is a mind that suffers. When you have nothing pulling you forward, the mind turns inward in unhealthy ways. It ruminates. It stagnates. It attaches to what's already gone instead of engaging with what's still possible.

The Middle Way isn't about eliminating desire. It's about channeling your energy toward things that give your life texture and meaning — without becoming enslaved by them. For older adults especially, this distinction matters. You don't need to chase ambition. You need to cultivate anticipation.

A trip. A project. A weekly dinner with friends. A garden you're tending. A grandchild's birthday party next month. A book you want to finish. A skill you want to learn.

These aren't trivial things. According to the research, they might be keeping you alive.

What the research says you should actually do

A 2022 study led by researchers at Boston University analyzed over 13,000 adults over 50 and found that those with the strongest sense of purpose reduced their risk of death by over 15% compared to those with the least. The effect held across all racial and ethnic groups and was especially pronounced among women, who saw a 34% reduction in mortality risk.

A Psychology Today analysis of recent purpose research highlighted that people with high purpose scores are 24% less likely to become physically inactive, 33% less likely to develop sleep problems, and may even experience reduced risk of cognitive decline and dementia.

So what does this look like in practice? It's simpler than you might think.

Build anticipation into every week. Always have at least one thing on your calendar that you're genuinely looking forward to. It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. Coffee with a friend on Thursday. A movie on Saturday night. A day trip next weekend. The point is that your brain has something positive to simulate and prepare for.

Create ongoing projects. A garden, a memoir, a photo album, volunteer work, learning a language — anything that gives you a reason to wake up and make progress. Purpose doesn't require grand ambitions. It requires forward motion.

Stay connected to people. The National Institute on Aging's research is clear: people who engage in meaningful, productive activities with others tend to live longer, maintain their cognitive function, and report better moods. Isolation is the enemy. Connection is the antidote.

Plan further ahead than you think you need to. Book the trip for next year. Sign up for the course that starts in three months. Give your future self something to work toward.

The bottom line

If you're over 65 — or if you love someone who is — please hear this: the most dangerous thing isn't a health condition or a bad diet. It's an empty calendar and a mind with nowhere to go.

Having something to look forward to isn't a luxury. It's a biological necessity. It activates your brain's reward system, protects against isolation and depression, and is associated with measurably longer life.

My parents figured this out just in time. They went from drifting through empty days to building a retirement full of plans, people, and purpose. And the research backs up what I saw with my own eyes — that shift didn't just make them happier. It may well be helping them live longer.

So if your calendar is looking bare, fix that today. Book something. Plan something. Give yourself something to look forward to.

Your brain — and your body — will thank you for it.