If someone does these 8 things consistently, they’re probably a truly good person at heart

I’ve met all kinds of people in my life—successful entrepreneurs, spiritual teachers, world travelers, and everyday workers just trying to make it through the week. Some had impressive achievements or confidence that filled a room. But the people who truly stayed with me—the ones I found myself trusting instinctively—were the ones who were simply good.

Not perfect. Not self-righteous. Just quietly good.

Over the years, I’ve realized that goodness isn’t something you can fake for long. It reveals itself through consistency. It’s in the way someone treats the waiter when nobody’s watching, the way they handle disappointment without bitterness, the way they show care without expecting anything in return.

If someone does these eight things consistently, they’re probably a genuinely good person at heart.

1. They treat people with respect, regardless of status

A good person doesn’t adjust their kindness depending on who they’re talking to. They treat everyone—from the CEO to the cleaner—with equal dignity.

I’ve seen this countless times while living in Vietnam and Singapore. Some people act polite to those they want something from but dismissive toward others. But the good ones? They never switch off respect. It’s part of who they are.

This kind of consistency comes from empathy, not performance. They see the humanity in everyone, not just the usefulness.

My dad used to say, “How someone treats a stranger says more about them than how they treat their boss.” I didn’t understand that in my twenties, but I do now.

True respect doesn’t depend on rank. It’s a reflection of inner character.

2. They admit when they’re wrong

It takes humility to say, “I was wrong.”

We live in a culture that rewards confidence, certainty, and being right. But good people don’t mind being seen as imperfect—they’d rather be honest than admired.

When someone admits they made a mistake, they’re not just acknowledging fault. They’re showing you that their ego doesn’t control them.

I remember once snapping at my wife, Jess, after a stressful day. It wasn’t her fault—I was tired and frustrated. I could’ve justified it, but instead I apologized sincerely. It wasn’t easy, but the relief afterward was incredible. It reminded me how much emotional honesty builds trust.

Good people take responsibility without excuses. They’d rather repair a connection than protect their pride.

3. They show kindness when no one’s watching

One of my closest friends in Saigon once stopped to help an old man push his bike up a steep hill. Nobody else saw it—no phone cameras, no social media posts. Just a small moment of help, unseen and unrecorded.

That’s the essence of true goodness: kindness without an audience.

Good people don’t do things to look virtuous; they do them because compassion feels natural. They find quiet joy in doing the right thing, even when it’s inconvenient or invisible.

There’s a Buddhist saying I love: “The fragrance of virtue spreads even against the wind.”

You can’t hide real kindness. It leaves a trace.

In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I write about how the most powerful acts often come from letting go of the need for recognition. When you act from genuine compassion, you’re not adding to your ego—you’re transcending it.

4. They listen without trying to fix or dominate

We’ve all been there—sharing something vulnerable, only to have someone interrupt with advice, comparison, or a quick change of subject.

Good people listen differently. They don’t rush to respond or turn the spotlight back to themselves. They make you feel heard, not managed.

When I first started practicing mindfulness, I realized how rare true listening is. Most people listen to reply, not to understand. But a good person listens with presence.

You can feel it in their eyes, their posture, their silence. They’re not thinking about what to say next—they’re with you, completely.

And that kind of listening heals more than words ever could.

5. They forgive—but they don’t enable

Being a good person doesn’t mean being a pushover.

True goodness comes with boundaries. It’s forgiveness paired with wisdom.

Good people can forgive others without holding grudges, but they also know when to step away. They understand that compassion doesn’t mean self-sacrifice—it means treating yourself with the same respect you offer others.

I used to confuse forgiveness with allowing people back into my life who didn’t deserve it. Over time, I learned that healthy forgiveness means wishing them well from afar.

Good people forgive to free their own hearts, not because they’re naïve. They let go of resentment but stay anchored in self-respect.

That balance—soft heart, strong spine—is one of the clearest signs of inner maturity.

6. They keep their word—even in small things

When someone says they’ll call and actually does, when they show up on time, when they follow through on what they promise—it seems minor, but it’s a profound act of respect.

Consistency builds trust. And good people know that reliability is one of the purest forms of integrity.

It’s easy to overpromise when you’re trying to please people. But good people would rather say no upfront than disappoint later. Their word means something.

This is especially noticeable in relationships and friendships. A good person makes you feel safe not because they say the right things, but because you can count on them.

They understand that actions, not declarations, define character.

7. They don’t gossip or tear others down

This one’s subtle but revealing.

When someone consistently refuses to engage in gossip—even when it’s tempting—you’re looking at someone with emotional discipline.

Good people know that gossip creates invisible harm. It distorts truth, divides people, and feeds ego.

They might listen, nod politely, or steer the conversation elsewhere—but they won’t add fuel to it. They respect others enough not to participate in cruelty disguised as conversation.

When I was younger, I didn’t realize how much energy gossip drains. It poisons your thoughts long after the conversation ends. Now, when I’m around people who speak kindly behind others’ backs, I feel a deep sense of calm.

It’s not about being “above it.” It’s about protecting the goodness within you.

8. They bring peace wherever they go

There’s a certain presence some people carry—a quiet steadiness that makes others feel at ease.

Good people don’t need to dominate a room to be felt. They radiate peace simply by being centered.

They don’t escalate tension, they dissolve it. They don’t spread anxiety, they ground it.

It’s not that their lives are easy—they’ve just learned not to pass their pain onto others.

This is something I’ve been working on myself, especially through meditation and mindfulness. Life will always bring stress, uncertainty, and disappointment. But you can choose how you transmit that energy.

Good people take the pain life gives them and filter it into understanding. They don’t suppress emotion; they transmute it into empathy.

That’s why you leave their company feeling lighter, clearer, more human.

The quiet truth about goodness

What I’ve learned through years of mindfulness and observation is this: good people rarely call themselves good.

They don’t need to.

They’re not performing virtue or chasing approval. They’re simply aligned with their values—and that alignment gives them peace.

In Buddhism, goodness isn’t something you achieve—it’s something you remember. It’s your natural state once you strip away fear, greed, and ego.

When you live from that place, kindness becomes instinctive, not effortful.

And that’s what sets good people apart.

They don’t need recognition or reward. Their goodness isn’t loud. It’s woven into their being.

What being “good” really means

To me, being a good person doesn’t mean being perfect, cheerful, or endlessly giving. It means being awake.

Awake enough to notice when your actions ripple outward.
Awake enough to see yourself in others.
Awake enough to choose love over ego, again and again.

Goodness isn’t a moral label—it’s a daily practice.

It’s in the moments when you could be impatient but choose patience. When you could judge but choose compassion. When you could ignore but choose to care.

And like any practice, it grows stronger the more you repeat it.

Final reflection

The world doesn’t need more impressive people—it needs more good ones.

The kind who hold doors open, who check in without expecting anything back, who give credit instead of taking it.

If you recognize yourself in these eight traits, know that your goodness matters—even if it often goes unnoticed.

Because the truth is, good people are the quiet architects of peace. They keep the world from tipping too far into chaos. They remind us, by their presence alone, that decency still exists.

And if you know someone like that, hold onto them.

Because in a time when everyone’s trying to look important, the truly good are the ones who simply are.