I used to overthink everything—this 3-step method finally quieted my mind

For years, my mind felt like a computer with too many tabs open.

Every decision—big or small—was a mental marathon. Did I say the wrong thing in that meeting? Should I have replied differently to that message? Was my last choice really the best one?

If you’ve been stuck in that mental loop before, you know how exhausting it is. Overthinking doesn’t just drain your energy—it robs you of clarity, peace, and the ability to be present.

The turning point came when I realized something that should have been obvious: my thoughts weren’t facts. They were just stories I was telling myself—most of them distorted, repetitive, and fueled by fear.

It took me years of trial and error to land on a 3-step method that quieted my mind. It’s not magic. It’s not even complicated. But it works, and it’s something you can start today.

Step 1: Separate the event from the story

Overthinking thrives on one thing—confusing what happened with what you think happened.
Here’s an example.

• Event: A friend didn’t reply to your text for two days.

• Story: “They must be upset with me. Maybe I offended them. Or maybe they don’t value the friendship anymore.”

Your mind automatically fills in the gaps with an explanation—often the most self-critical one. The problem is, your story is rarely accurate.

This step is about pausing and asking:

“What’s the raw fact here—and what’s just my interpretation?”

When I started doing this, I was shocked at how quickly my anxiety deflated.
Instead of spiraling into “they’re angry with me” territory, I’d stop at: “They haven’t replied yet.” That’s it. That’s all I know.

By separating facts from stories, you take away overthinking’s fuel source. You stop letting your imagination write a 10-chapter novel out of a single sentence.

Practical tip: When you feel yourself spiraling, write down the event in one sentence—objective and without emotion. Then write down the story you’re telling yourself. Seeing the difference on paper makes it easier to let go of the story.

Step 2: Decide—then detach

One of the biggest triggers for overthinking is decision paralysis. We’re afraid of making the “wrong” choice, so we rehearse every possible scenario in our heads… endlessly.

Here’s what I learned: overthinking doesn’t lead to better decisions—it just delays them.

I began practicing a two-part approach:

1. Give myself a reasonable time limit to decide (anywhere from 5 minutes to 24 hours, depending on the decision).

2. Once I decide, I commit to detachment. That means no revisiting, no “what-ifs,” no mentally replaying the choice.

The first few times I tried this, my brain didn’t like it at all. It would try to drag me back into analysis mode. But I’d remind myself:

“I made the best decision I could with the information I had. That’s all anyone can do.”

Detachment doesn’t mean ignoring the consequences—it means refusing to torture yourself with hypotheticals after the fact.

Practical tip: If you feel the urge to second-guess a past choice, say out loud: “Decision closed.” It’s a simple signal to your brain that the mental loop is over. It sounds small, but it’s powerful.

Step 3: Anchor in the present with a “micro-action”

Overthinking is almost never about what’s happening right now.
It’s about the past (regret, replaying mistakes) or the future (worry, predicting disasters).

So the quickest way to interrupt it is to pull yourself back into the present moment.

I call it the micro-action method—because it’s not about meditating for 30 minutes or escaping on a week-long retreat. It’s about doing something small, immediate, and sensory that forces your mind to focus here.

For me, micro-actions include:

• Running cold water over my hands for 10 seconds

• Noticing 5 things I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell, and 1 thing I can taste

• Doing 10 slow, deep breaths, counting each one

These actions are small enough to do anywhere—at your desk, in a meeting, even in the middle of a conversation.

The key is consistency. The more often you interrupt overthinking with a present-moment micro-action, the faster your brain learns:

“Oh—we’re not living in that imaginary future or replaying that past anymore. We’re here.”

Why this 3-step method works

Looking back, I can see why these steps finally worked when so many other “stop overthinking” tricks didn’t.

• They target the root cause, not just the symptom. Overthinking is fueled by story-making, indecision, and living outside the present. This method addresses all three.

• They’re simple enough to remember in the moment. Complex mental frameworks sound great in theory, but when you’re spiraling, you need something quick and doable.

• They build on each other. Step 1 clears the fog, Step 2 prevents new loops, and Step 3 trains your mind to stay anchored.

Over time, this method didn’t just quiet my overthinking—it changed how I moved through life. I became more decisive, more present, and far less reactive to things I couldn’t control.

What happened when I stopped overthinking

I used to believe that my constant analysis was a strength—that I was being “thorough” or “careful.” But the truth? It was a form of self-sabotage.

When I stopped overthinking:

• I slept better. My mind wasn’t doing late-night autopsies of every conversation.

• I had more energy for actual problem-solving—because I wasn’t wasting it on imaginary problems.

• My relationships improved. People could feel the shift in my presence; I was actually listening instead of being half-lost in my own thoughts.

It didn’t make life perfect—but it made it simpler. And I think we underestimate just how powerful “simple” can be for our mental health.

If you’re ready to try it

If your mind has been running at 200 kilometers per hour for years, you won’t shut it off overnight.
But you can start slowing it down today.

Here’s how I’d suggest beginning:

1. Pick one of the three steps—whichever feels easiest—and commit to practicing it for a week.

2. Notice the moments you catch yourself overthinking. That awareness is the win.

3. Layer in the other steps over time.

The point isn’t to never think deeply again—that’s not realistic, and deep thinking has its place. The point is to stop letting repetitive, unhelpful thoughts dominate your life.

A final thought

When I first started this process, I expected it to be about controlling my thoughts. But somewhere along the way, I realized it was more about letting go.

The less I tried to wrestle my mind into submission, the quieter it became.

It reminded me of something I explore in depth in my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. In it, I share how Buddhist principles—like non-attachment, mindful awareness, and compassion—can transform the way we experience life, especially when it comes to taming the restless mind.

If overthinking has been running your life, I think you’ll find a lot in those pages that will help you not only quiet your mind, but also live with more clarity, ease, and purpose.

Because life’s too short to live entirely in your head—the real magic happens here, in the present moment.

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