7 things in life you should always keep private no matter how comfortable you feel around someone

We live in an age of oversharing, where every meal, thought, and milestone gets broadcast to hundreds of strangers online. Yet somehow, the more we share, the lonelier many of us feel.

Strange, isn't it?

Here's what I've learned after years of writing about personal development and watching people navigate relationships: authentic connection doesn't mean spilling every detail of your life. In fact, the most emotionally intelligent people understand that certain aspects of life should remain private, even with those closest to them.

Think about it. Have you ever shared something deeply personal with someone, only to regret it later? Maybe they used it against you in an argument, or perhaps they simply didn't handle the information with the care it deserved.

Today, we're diving into seven things you should always keep private, no matter how comfortable you feel around someone. These aren't about being secretive or building walls. They're about maintaining healthy boundaries that protect your peace and preserve the integrity of your relationships.

1. Your family's personal struggles

When I co-founded a business with my brothers a few years back, I quickly learned that family dynamics are complex territory. Sure, we work closely together and share plenty of professional challenges, but we've also discovered that keeping certain family matters private is essential for maintaining both our business and personal relationships.

Your family members didn't sign up to have their struggles become public knowledge. Whether it's your sister's mental health journey, your parents' financial difficulties, or your brother's relationship problems, these stories aren't yours to tell.

Even with your best friend or partner, sharing your family's private battles can create awkward dynamics at family gatherings and breach trust that takes years to rebuild. If someone in your family wanted others to know about their struggles, they'd share it themselves.

Remember, being a trustworthy family member means being a vault for their secrets, not a broadcasting station.

2. The intimate details of past relationships

We've all been there. You're with someone new, feeling that intoxicating mix of comfort and excitement, and suddenly you're spilling every detail about your ex. Stop right there.

Sharing the intimate details of past relationships doesn't just disrespect your former partners; it plants seeds of insecurity in your current relationship. Your new partner might wonder what you'll say about them if things don't work out. Will their vulnerabilities become stories at someone else's dinner table?

In my book [Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego](https://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Secrets-Buddhism-Maximum-Minimum-ebook/dp/B0BD15Q9WF), I explore how Buddhist teachings emphasize the importance of right speech. This includes knowing when silence honors both the past and the present more than words ever could.

Keep the lessons you learned from past relationships, but leave the intimate details where they belong—in the past.

3. Your financial situation in detail

Money talk is tricky territory. Share too little, and you might seem evasive. Share too much, and you've opened a Pandora's box of complications.

I've noticed something interesting over the years: people who constantly discuss their financial details rarely have healthy relationships with money or people. Whether you're struggling or thriving financially, keeping the specifics private protects you from several issues.

If you're doing well, detailed financial disclosure can attract the wrong kind of attention, create jealousy, or make you a target for endless loan requests. If you're struggling, oversharing can lead to unsolicited advice, pity, or changed dynamics in your relationships.

General discussions about financial goals or challenges? Sure. But your exact salary, debt numbers, or investment portfolio? That's need-to-know information, and very few people actually need to know.

4. Your deepest fears and insecurities

Vulnerability is powerful. It creates connection and builds trust. But there's a difference between being vulnerable and handing someone a roadmap to your deepest wounds.

I keep a journal for personal reflection, and some of what goes in there will never see the light of day. Not because I'm not authentic in my relationships, but because I understand that some fears and insecurities need to be worked through privately or with a professional before they're ready for sharing.

When you share your deepest fears too freely, you risk having them used against you during conflicts, or worse, having someone minimize or dismiss them before you've had a chance to process them yourself.

Choose your confidants wisely. Not everyone deserves access to the parts of you that are still healing.

5. Other people's secrets

This one seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how often people break this rule. When someone trusts you with a secret, that trust is sacred. It's not yours to share, no matter how close you are to someone else.

I've seen friendships destroyed and professional relationships ruined because someone couldn't resist sharing "just this one thing" that was told to them in confidence. The moment you share someone else's secret, you've shown that you can't be trusted with sensitive information.

Being known as someone who can keep a secret is invaluable. It makes you a safe space for others and builds a reputation of integrity that money can't buy.

6. Your good deeds

There's an old saying that when you do good deeds and tell everyone about them, you've already received your reward—the praise and recognition. But when you keep them private, the universe has a way of rewarding you in unexpected ways.

I've found this to be surprisingly true in my own life. The acts of kindness I've kept private have brought me more genuine satisfaction than anything I've ever shared publicly. There's something pure about helping someone without seeking credit or validation.

In [Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego](https://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Secrets-Buddhism-Maximum-Minimum-ebook/dp/B0BD15Q9WF), I discuss how true compassion operates without the need for recognition. When you broadcast your good deeds, you risk turning genuine kindness into a performance.

Let your actions speak through their impact, not through your words about them.

7. Your long-term goals and dreams before they're realized

Have you ever noticed how talking too much about your goals can actually diminish your motivation to achieve them? There's psychological research behind this phenomenon. When we share our goals and receive praise or encouragement, our brains can trick us into feeling like we've already accomplished something.

Beyond the motivation aspect, sharing your biggest dreams and goals too freely opens them up to criticism, doubt, and unsolicited opinions that can derail your progress. Not everyone will understand your vision, and that's okay. They don't need to.

Work in silence and let your success make the noise. Share your goals with a select few who will hold you accountable and support you, but keep the details and the grand vision close to your chest until you're ready to show rather than tell.

Final words

Privacy isn't about being secretive or building walls between yourself and others. It's about understanding that some parts of your life are sacred and deserve to be protected.

In our oversharing culture, keeping these seven things private might feel countercultural, even uncomfortable at first. But I promise you, the people who matter will respect your boundaries, and you'll find that your relationships become healthier when they're built on mutual respect rather than unlimited access.

The most profound connections aren't formed by knowing everything about someone. They're formed by respecting what they choose to share and honoring what they choose to keep private.

Guard your privacy like the treasure it is. Your future self will thank you for it.