7 adventurous things to do as a couple before you turn 40

There’s this sweet, chaotic stretch of years between the wide-eyed curiosity of your twenties and the “I know what I like, let’s not mess with it” comfort of your forties.

Somewhere in there, life can start to feel… routine. You might have your favorite restaurants, your go-to vacation spot, your unwritten rules about which side of the bed belongs to whom.

But here’s the thing—once you hit 40, those chances to be wildly spontaneous together tend to shrink unless you fight for them.

I’m not saying you can’t take risks after 40 (please do!), but there’s a particular kind of freedom and energy you have in your 30s that’s worth making the most of.

So here’s my list of seven adventures to try together before you blow out the candles on that milestone cake—not because life slows down after, but because you’ll always have these stories in your back pocket.

1. Try a food-and-film night in a foreign language

Think of it as an immersive date night without ever leaving your couch.

Choose a film in a language neither of you speaks, then pair it with snacks or a meal from that culture.

Spanish thriller with churros? Yes, please.

Korean rom-com with kimchi pancakes? Even better.

The magic here isn’t just in watching a movie—it’s in the way you both lean into unfamiliar territory.

You’ll end up trading whispered theories about what’s happening (“Wait, was that a proposal or a threat?”) and laughing when you’re both totally wrong. It’s a small, shared risk with big bonding potential.

2. Plan a weekend escape based on pure whimsy

Book a spontaneous overnight trip where the only rule is that neither of you can over-plan it. Maybe you pick a direction, drive until you find something interesting, and let fate do the rest.

I once did this with someone I’d been dating for six months. We left the city without a map, following random road signs until we stumbled across a tiny lakeside town with a thrift store, a mom-and-pop diner, and a dock that begged for barefoot walks.

We didn’t “see the sights” because there weren’t any—but we came home with inside jokes, a kitschy salt shaker shaped like a flamingo, and a memory that felt like it belonged only to us.

The trip doesn’t have to be far, expensive, or even conventionally “romantic.” The point is to be surprised together.

3. Take a couple’s outdoor challenge—like a beginner’s rock-climbing class

Nothing bonds people faster than trying something a little outside their comfort zone—especially if it requires literal trust.

Rock climbing (indoor or outdoor) is perfect for that. One of you is up on the wall, the other’s holding the rope, cheering you on, and trying not to think about gravity too much.

It’s humbling, hilarious, and—if you let it be—a way to see your partner in a different light. You notice their patience, their persistence, and maybe their creative swearing.

Then you switch roles and realize you’re braver than you thought. You’ll leave tired, possibly chalk-covered, and definitely closer.

4. Explore a new city using only public transit and local recs

Instead of hitting the “Top 10” list from a travel site, make the city a mystery you unlock together.

Ask locals for one must-see or must-eat recommendation, then figure out how to get there by bus, tram, or metro. Once you’re done, ask someone new for the next spot.

I tried this once in San Francisco with a friend. We started with a barista’s favorite taco spot, which led us to a local artist’s gallery, which led to a jazz bar hidden in an alley.

We never would’ve found any of it if we’d followed a tourist map. And the mishaps—like taking the wrong bus three times—ended up being part of the fun.

It’s an exercise in letting go of control and trusting the adventure.

5. Spend a night stargazing—off-grid, off-screens

There’s something grounding about lying under a blanket of stars with someone you love.

It doesn’t require fancy telescopes or camping gear—just a spot far enough from city lights, a warm layer, and maybe a thermos of tea or cocoa.

Without screens or background noise, you end up talking differently.

You ask big questions, or sit in comfortable silence. You might try to name constellations, argue over whether that’s a shooting star or a plane, or just listen to the night.

It’s slow, simple, and the kind of shared moment you’ll remember on busier days.

6. Learn a new creative hobby together (pottery, salsa dancing, songwriting)

There’s a special magic in watching your partner try something for the first time.

They’re out of their element, maybe laughing nervously, maybe going all-in with total abandon.

Learning something together—whether it’s throwing clay on a pottery wheel, stumbling through dance steps, or writing a terrible-but-hilarious song—levels the playing field.

Years ago, I convinced a partner to take a beginner’s salsa class with me. We spent the whole hour tripping over each other’s feet and apologizing mid-spin.

By the end, we were sweaty, off-beat, and laughing so hard our cheeks hurt.

Did we ever become good dancers? Absolutely not.

But we did become the couple who could crack each other up with one exaggerated salsa move in the kitchen years later.

The goal isn’t skill—it’s connection.

7. Cook a meal together using entirely unfamiliar ingredients

Head to an international market or specialty store and pick three ingredients neither of you has cooked with before. Don’t research them ahead of time—just figure it out together in the kitchen.

Maybe you end up steaming dumplings with a spice you can’t pronounce, or making a dessert that looks nothing like the picture but tastes amazing.

Even if it’s a flop, you’ll have the memory of that chaotic, flour-covered evening and the satisfaction of trying something new.

The beauty is in the collaboration: tasting as you go, adjusting flavors, and working side-by-side. The finished dish is the bonus; the experience is the prize.

Conclusion

The most adventurous things you do as a couple don’t have to be grand or expensive.

They just need to pull you out of autopilot and into moments where you’re both paying full attention—to the world, to the experience, and to each other.

Before you turn 40, you have this incredible mix of energy, flexibility, and curiosity. Use it. Say yes to the weird road trip, the awkward dance class, the midnight stargazing.

These are the stories you’ll tell over and over—the ones that make you smile long after the moment’s passed.