These six simple questions helped me untangle some of my most confusing moments, and they might bring surprising clarity to yours too.
Confusion has a way of creeping in quietly. One moment you are moving through life with some sense of direction, and the next you are sitting still, unsure which thought to trust or which path makes sense.
For me, journaling became the tool that helped untangle that inner mess. Not the performative kind, and not the cute “write three things you are grateful for” kind.
I mean the honest, unfiltered kind of writing that lets your mind spill out in whatever shape it needs to take.
And this is not just a feel good practice. As noted by James Pennebaker and Beall, “Writing by hand about emotions can improve both emotional and physical health, reducing stress and even the number of doctor visits.”
Over time, I realized that a handful of specific prompts were doing the heavy lifting in helping me move from fog to focus. These six are still the ones I return to whenever life feels murky.
1. What emotion is sitting at the center of all this?
Whenever I feel lost, there is always one core emotion fueling the confusion. It could be anxiety, disappointment, longing, resentment, or even an excitement I am not ready to admit.
The first time I asked myself this question on paper, the answer surprised me. I was not stressed about the situation itself. I was stressed about how I thought I should be handling it.
That is when Rudá Iandê’s work hit home for me. His book Laughing in the Face of Chaos reminded me that “Our emotions are not barriers, but profound gateways to the soul, portals to the vast, uncharted landscapes of our inner being.”
His insights helped me stop treating my emotions as distractions and start treating them as messengers.
This prompt helps you locate the heart of what is really going on so everything else becomes easier to interpret.
2. What is the story I am telling myself right now?
Every confusing moment carries an internal narrative. Sometimes it is accurate. Sometimes it is completely invented.
I have journaled stories like:
“They must think I am incompetent.”
“If I choose wrong, everything will fall apart.”
“I am behind everyone else.”
When I write those thoughts down, I can see how exaggerated some of them are.
Ray Dalio captures this truth clearly. “Pain + Reflection = Progress.” This prompt gives you the reflection part.
You turn the discomfort you are feeling into something you can examine instead of something that controls you.
Once you see the story you are telling yourself, you can rewrite it or choose not to let it lead your decisions.
3. What belief is guiding my reaction?
This question uncovers the old scripts that quietly steer your behavior. Many of them are not even yours originally. They are inherited or conditioned somewhere along the way.
Common ones I have uncovered include:
“I must not disappoint anyone.”
“Success has to look a certain way.”
“I should always be available.”
When I write about the belief behind my reaction, something shifts. I can trace it back to where it came from, and the intensity of the situation suddenly makes sense.
This kind of journaling helps you separate your true needs from expectations you absorbed without realizing it.
4. If I removed fear from the equation, what would I choose?
Fear rarely announces itself. It shows up in hesitation, tension, or the feeling that every option carries a hidden trap.
This prompt forces you to imagine what you would choose if fear stepped aside.
I once wrote this during a time when I was stuck between two career options. The moment I imagined my choice without fear, the answer appeared instantly.
Fear had been the only obstacle, not my ability or the reality of the situation.
You might not remove fear in real life, but imagining its absence gives you a clearer picture of what you actually want.
5. What evidence do I actually have?
This is my most grounding prompt. It appeals to the part of me that still enjoys data and clarity from my years as a financial analyst.
If I think someone is upset with me, I ask:
What evidence do I actually have?
If I am convinced I made the wrong decision:
What evidence supports that idea?
This question interrupts spiraling and brings you back to what is real.
James Clear said, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”
Looking at evidence is a vote for clarity over confusion. It is a vote for steady thinking over emotional guessing.
Once you write down the real evidence, you often notice that the situation is not as heavy as it felt.
6. What matters to me in the long run?
This prompt pulls everything back into perspective.
Confusion usually grows in moments when you are overwhelmed by what feels urgent. Asking what matters in the long run helps you zoom out.
I once wrote this during a week where everything felt like a crisis. Seeing my long term values in front of me made it obvious that most of my stress was coming from expectations that did not align with my priorities.
When you shift from the noise of the moment to the truth of what you care about most, clarity has room to settle in.
Final thoughts
Clarity rarely arrives in dramatic form. It grows through small acts of honesty.
It grows through writing the truth instead of spinning in your thoughts. It grows through pausing long enough to hear what is under the confusion.
These six questions are the ones that consistently help me understand myself better. Whenever life feels heavy or complicated, they bring me back to my center.
If you are ready to explore your inner landscape with more honesty and curiosity, these prompts are a meaningful place to start.
Take one to your journal tonight and see what rises.
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