The grandparents who build magnetic relationships don't just spoil kids with gifts or have the fanciest house, but create experiences worth remembering.
Ever notice how some grandparents have kids racing to their door, while others get the obligatory holiday visit and not much else?
It's not about spoiling them with gifts or having the fanciest house. The grandparents who build those magnetic relationships do something different. They create experiences worth remembering.
I've watched this play out in my own family. My kids used to treat visits to my parents' house like a chore. Then my mom started doing things differently. Now? They ask when we're going back before we've even left the driveway.
If you're a grandparent wondering how to strengthen that bond, or if you're trying to encourage your own parents to connect more meaningfully with your kids, these ten activities can transform those relationships from distant to devoted.
1. Start a collection together
Think back to your own childhood. Remember that feeling of finding something rare for your collection?
Starting a collection with a grandchild creates an ongoing reason to connect. It could be coins, stamps, rocks, pressed flowers, or even funny postcards from different places.
The beauty is in the continuity. Every phone call becomes an opportunity to discuss new finds. Every visit includes time to organize, admire, and add to what you've built together. Years later, that collection becomes a physical reminder of your relationship.
One grandfather I know started collecting baseball cards with his grandson. They spend hours researching players, attending card shows, and learning about the sport's history. It's not really about the cards anymore. It's about their shared language.
2. Teach them something you're skilled at
You've accumulated decades of knowledge and skills. Don't let that go to waste.
Whether it's woodworking, sewing, gardening, cooking, or playing an instrument, passing down what you know creates a powerful intergenerational bond. Kids love feeling like they're learning something special, something not everyone knows.
My father-in-law taught my daughter how to identify bird calls during their walks. She's now the kid who stops everyone on hikes to point out a cardinal or a blue jay. That knowledge came from dedicated time with her grandfather, and she carries it with pride.
As developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik has noted, grandparents are evolutionarily designed to teach. When you step into that teaching role, you're fulfilling something fundamental about the relationship.
3. Create a special cooking or baking tradition
Food has this incredible way of anchoring memories.
Pick one signature dish or treat that becomes "your thing" with each grandchild. Maybe it's Saturday morning pancakes, homemade pizza from scratch, or decorating cookies for every season.
The key is consistency and participation. Let them crack the eggs, stir the batter, or roll the dough. Make a mess together. These aren't just cooking lessons but rituals they'll associate with you for life.
I still remember making pierogi with my grandmother every Christmas Eve. The recipe mattered less than the flour-covered conversations we had while folding each dumpling. Thirty years later, I can still feel her hands guiding mine.
4. Build an ongoing project over multiple visits
One-and-done activities are fine, but projects that span several visits give kids something to look forward to.
This could be building a birdhouse, creating a quilt, constructing a model train set, or planting a garden that grows over the season. Each visit becomes a chapter in the same story.
A grandmother in my neighborhood started a "memory garden" with her granddaughters. Every visit, they add a new plant and take photos together next to it. She keeps a journal documenting what they planted, what they talked about, and how the garden evolved. The girls are now teenagers and still show up to tend their garden.
Long-term projects teach patience and give children a sense of investment in visiting. They're not just showing up to a house but returning to something they're building.
5. Establish a special outing tradition
Some of the strongest bonds form outside the house.
Find one activity you can do regularly together, just the two of you. It could be monthly trips to the library, visiting a farmers market, going to a local diner for breakfast, or taking walks through the same park.
According to research, shared activities strengthen relationships more effectively than passive time spent together. The key is doing something, not just being somewhere.
My kids have "pancake Tuesdays" with my dad whenever they visit. It's nothing fancy, just a local diner they go to without me or my husband. That one-on-one time has become sacred to them. They talk about things they don't share with anyone else.
Make it exclusive. Make it regular. Make it theirs.
6. Start a storytelling ritual
Children are naturally curious about where they came from.
Dedicate time during visits to share family stories. Not the sanitized versions but the real, messy, funny tales of what life was like when you were young. Show them old photos. Explain who people were and what mattered to them.
You can make this more interactive by creating a family tree together, recording stories on video, or having them interview you with questions they've prepared.
I never fully appreciated my own heritage until my grandmother started telling me about immigrating as a young woman. Those stories gave me context for understanding myself. Kids need that connection to something bigger than their immediate world.
Your stories are their history. Don't let them disappear.
7. Give them responsibility for something at your house
Kids love feeling needed and capable.
Give each grandchild a job or responsibility when they visit. Maybe one waters the plants, another feeds the bird feeder, or someone else is in charge of setting the table their special way.
This creates ownership. They're not just guests but contributors to your household. That sense of belonging makes them want to return.
As family therapist Virginia Satir once said, "We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." Replace "hugs" with "moments where a child feels valued," and you've got the same principle.
When my nephew visits his grandparents, he's responsible for helping his grandfather organize the tool shed. He's eight and takes this job incredibly seriously. It's his domain, his contribution, and he feels like he matters there.
8. Create a communication routine between visits
Connection doesn't have to end when the visit does.
Set up a regular way to stay in touch between visits. This could be a weekly video call, sending postcards back and forth, sharing photos of your day, or even playing online games together.
The format matters less than the consistency. When kids know they'll hear from you every Sunday evening or that you'll text them a joke every Wednesday, it keeps the relationship warm between face-to-face time.
One creative grandmother I know created a shared online photo album where she and her grandchildren post pictures of interesting things they see each week. They comment on each other's photos and build a visual conversation. By the time they visit in person, they have weeks of observations to discuss.
9. Let them explore your interests and hobbies
Don't just do kid activities. Invite them into your world.
If you love bird watching, bring them along with a spare pair of binoculars. If you're into genealogy, show them how you research the family tree. If you garden, give them their own small plot to manage.
Children often rise to meet adult expectations. When you treat them as capable of appreciating what you love, they often surprise you.
I've seen this work beautifully with a grandfather who restores vintage motorcycles. His twelve-year-old grandson now spends entire afternoons in the garage, learning about engines and tools. The kid had no prior interest in motorcycles, but he loved being treated like a trusted assistant in his grandfather's passion project.
10. Make space for unstructured time together
Here's the thing about all these activities: they work best when balanced with absolutely nothing.
Some of the most meaningful moments happen during downtime. Sitting on the porch talking about whatever comes to mind. Reading side by side in comfortable silence. Taking a slow walk with no destination.
Children need to experience you as a calm presence, not just an activities coordinator. Those quiet moments teach them that relationships don't always need to be doing something to be valuable.
My own fondest memories with my grandparents aren't from any planned activity. They're from sitting at the kitchen table while my grandmother did crossword puzzles, or lying on the floor while my grandfather read his newspaper. I just existed near them, and that was enough.
Final thoughts
Building a close relationship with grandchildren doesn't require perfection or endless resources.
It requires intention, consistency, and genuine interest in who they are as people. The grandparents who become favorites aren't necessarily the most fun or the most permissive. They're the ones who make children feel seen, valued, and connected to something larger than themselves.
Start with one or two of these activities. See what resonates with your specific grandchild. Every kid is different, and the best activities are the ones that match their interests and your abilities.
The time you have with them is shorter than you think. Make it count.
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