8 ways Boomers discipline their dogs that trainers say actually make behavior worse

Look, I'll admit it: watching my neighbor discipline their golden retriever last week made me cringe a little. They were using the exact same techniques my parents used with our family dog back in the day. The yelling, the newspaper swat, the whole nine yards.

And you know what? Their dog seemed more confused and anxious than ever.

It got me thinking about how many well-meaning dog owners, particularly those from older generations, are still using outdated training methods that professional trainers now know can actually make behavior problems worse.

These techniques were considered standard practice decades ago, but modern animal behavior science has shown us there are much better ways.

If you grew up in a household where these methods were the norm (like I did), it might feel strange to question them. But here's what today's certified dog trainers want us to know about these common but counterproductive approaches.

1) Using physical punishment or "alpha" dominance techniques

Remember when everyone believed you had to be the "alpha" of your pack? That whole theory has been thoroughly debunked, yet I still see people trying to pin their dogs down or use physical corrections to show who's boss.

Professional trainers now know that dominance-based training methods often create fear and anxiety rather than respect. When a dog cowers or stops a behavior out of fear, they're not learning what you want them to do. They're just learning to be afraid of you.

I once watched someone try to "alpha roll" their puppy for jumping up on guests. The puppy became so anxious around visitors afterward that the jumping actually got worse, combined with nervous urination. Not exactly the result they were going for.

Modern trainers recommend positive reinforcement instead. Teaching your dog what you want them to do, rather than punishing what you don't want, builds confidence and trust.

2) Rubbing their nose in accidents

This one makes me shake my head every time. The old belief was that rubbing a dog's nose in their accident would teach them not to go in the house. But dogs don't connect the punishment with the action unless you catch them in the exact moment.

What actually happens? Your dog learns to hide when they need to go, making house training even harder. They might start going behind the couch or in unused rooms because they've learned that you get angry when you see their accidents, not that going inside is wrong.

A trainer friend once told me about a client whose dog would actually eat its own waste to hide the evidence. That's how stressful this punishment had become for the poor pup.

3) Yelling or shouting commands repeatedly

"SIT! SIT! I SAID SIT!"

Sound familiar? Growing up, this was the soundtrack of every dog training session in our neighborhood. But here's what happens when you repeat commands: your dog learns they don't have to listen the first time. Or the second. Or the third.

Plus, yelling often increases a dog's excitement or anxiety level, making them less likely to focus and follow commands. Think about it from their perspective. Would you learn better from someone calmly explaining something or someone shouting the same word at you over and over?

Professional trainers suggest saying a command once, clearly and calmly. If your dog doesn't respond, they either don't understand what you want or aren't motivated enough to comply. Neither problem is solved by volume.

4) Using spray bottles or shock collars

The spray bottle seems harmless enough, right? Just a little water to stop unwanted behavior. But trainers point out that these aversive tools often create more problems than they solve.

Dogs don't understand why they're being sprayed or shocked. They just know something scary and unpleasant happened. This can lead to increased anxiety, aggression, or complete shutdown of natural behaviors.

I knew someone who used a shock collar to stop their dog from barking. The dog did stop barking, but also stopped playing, exploring, and showing any personality at all. They'd created a robot, not a well-behaved companion.

5) Isolating them as punishment

Locking a dog outside, in a basement, or in a crate for hours as punishment was pretty standard practice for many years. But dogs are social animals. Extended isolation doesn't teach them anything except that sometimes, for reasons they don't understand, they lose access to their family.

This can create separation anxiety, destructive behaviors, and trust issues. Your dog doesn't sit in timeout thinking about what they've done wrong. They're just stressed and confused about why they're alone.

Trainers now recommend brief, calm timeouts (think 30 seconds to a minute) if needed, but more importantly, preventing unwanted behaviors through management and training.

6) Withholding affection or giving the "cold shoulder"

Have you ever seen someone ignore their dog for hours because they chewed up a shoe? This emotional punishment might work on humans who can understand the connection, but dogs live in the moment.

Your dog doesn't understand why you suddenly won't look at them or pet them. They just know their person is acting strange and distant, which creates anxiety and confusion.

Building a strong bond through consistent, positive interactions is what creates a well-behaved dog, not emotional manipulation.

7) Feeding last to "establish hierarchy"

The idea that you should always eat before your dog to establish dominance is another outdated concept from the debunked alpha theory. Dogs don't actually think about mealtime hierarchy the way wolves in captivity were once thought to.

What this practice actually does is create food anxiety and resource guarding in some dogs. They learn that food is scarce and competitive rather than abundant and reliable.

Modern trainers recommend regular, predictable feeding times that work for your schedule. Some even suggest using meals as training opportunities, hand-feeding or using puzzle feeders to build positive associations.

8) Forcing interactions they're uncomfortable with

"He needs to learn to like children/other dogs/strangers!"

Forcing a fearful or uncomfortable dog into interactions they're not ready for doesn't build confidence. It often makes fears worse and can lead to defensive aggression.

I learned this the hard way years ago when I kept making a nervous rescue dog greet every visitor, thinking exposure would help. Instead, the dog became increasingly stressed until one day they snapped at someone. A professional trainer helped me understand that respect for the dog's boundaries and gradual, positive exposure at the dog's pace was the answer.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these outdated methods in our own behavior can be uncomfortable, especially if they're techniques we grew up with or have used for years. But being willing to learn and adapt our approach is part of being a responsible dog owner.

The good news? Modern, science-based training methods are not only more humane, they're actually more effective. Dogs trained with positive reinforcement learn faster, retain behaviors better, and have stronger bonds with their humans.

If you're struggling with your dog's behavior, consider consulting a certified professional trainer who uses positive reinforcement methods. They can help you understand what your dog is really trying to tell you and teach you both how to communicate better.

Remember, our dogs aren't trying to dominate us or be stubborn. They're just trying to navigate our human world with the tools they have. When we give them better tools through patience, consistency, and positive training, everyone wins.