From casual phone-checking to first-name basis introductions, the everyday behaviors that feel completely natural to millennials and Gen Z are quietly driving their Boomer relatives and colleagues up the wall—and neither generation realizes they're following completely different social rulebooks.
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Ever notice how what feels perfectly normal to one generation can seem completely out of line to another?
I was having coffee with my parents last week when my phone buzzed on the table. Without thinking, I glanced at it mid-conversation. My mom's expression said everything. That quick glance, something I do dozens of times a day without a second thought, struck her as incredibly rude.
It got me thinking about all the ways generational expectations clash, especially between younger folks and Boomers. What millennials and Gen Z consider standard behavior often reads as disrespectful to the older generation. And here's the kicker: neither side is necessarily wrong. We're just operating from different playbooks.
After years of navigating these generational divides, both personally with my achievement-oriented parents and professionally while mentoring younger colleagues in finance, I've noticed some patterns. These aren't character flaws or intentional slights. They're genuine cultural shifts that create real tension.
So let's explore seven behaviors that younger generations see as totally normal but often leave Boomers feeling disrespected. Understanding these differences might just help bridge the gap.
1) Texting during conversations
Remember my coffee story? That's just the tip of the iceberg.
For younger generations, phones are extensions of themselves. Checking a notification, responding to a text, or quickly googling something mid-conversation feels as natural as breathing. We're multitaskers by design, trained to juggle multiple streams of information simultaneously.
But to many Boomers, this reads as "I'm not interested in what you're saying." They grew up in an era where giving someone your undivided attention was the baseline for respect. Looking away from someone while they're talking? That was considered dismissive at best, hostile at worst.
I learned this the hard way during family dinners. My parents would be sharing something important while I'd be scrolling through work emails. To me, I was being efficient. To them, I was being dismissive. Once I understood their perspective, I started putting my phone face-down during our conversations. Small change, huge difference.
The disconnect isn't about right or wrong. It's about different relationships with technology and attention.
2) Using first names immediately
When I started my finance career, I called everyone Mr. or Ms. until explicitly told otherwise. These days? The young professionals I mentor introduce themselves by first name to everyone, from the CEO to the cleaning staff.
This shift toward informality feels democratic and approachable to younger folks. Why create artificial barriers with titles? We're all just people, right?
But many Boomers interpret this immediate familiarity as presumptuous. They earned their titles and positions through years of work. Skipping straight to "Bob" instead of "Mr. Johnson" can feel like skipping over that acknowledgment of achievement and experience.
I've watched this play out in countless workplace scenarios. A bright young analyst addresses a senior partner by first name in their first meeting, thinking they're being friendly and modern. The partner, meanwhile, feels like professional boundaries just got bulldozed.
3) Canceling plans last minute
"Something came up" has become the most common text message of our generation.
For younger people, plans feel fluid. If a better opportunity arises, or if you're just not feeling it anymore, a quick text canceling seems reasonable. After all, you're giving them notice, right? And everyone understands that life is unpredictable.
But Boomers often see this as deeply disrespectful of their time. When they make plans, they're commitments. Canceling last minute without a genuine emergency feels like saying "my time is more valuable than yours."
My mother still brings up the time I canceled lunch with her because a work opportunity came up. To me, it was obvious she'd understand. Work is important! But to her, I'd broken a promise and deprioritized our relationship. The guilt still gets me three years later.
4) Working from home in pajamas
The pandemic normalized working from home, but it also revealed a massive generational divide about professional presentation.
Younger workers see no issue joining video calls in hoodies, working from bed, or keeping their cameras off entirely. If the work gets done, who cares what you're wearing? This flexibility feels like progress, like finally admitting that forcing people into uncomfortable clothes doesn't improve their spreadsheet skills.
But many Boomers view this casual approach as unprofessional and disrespectful to colleagues and clients. They dressed up even when working from home because maintaining professional standards was about self-respect and respecting others.
I've found myself caught between these worlds. When mentoring young women entering finance, I try to explain that while the rules are changing, understanding when to flex them matters. That client call? Maybe throw on a professional top. Internal team sync? The hoodie is probably fine.
5) Openly discussing salaries and mental health
Ask a millennial their salary, and they might actually tell you. Ask about their therapy session, and you'll get details.
This transparency feels revolutionary to younger generations. Discussing salaries helps combat pay inequity. Talking about mental health reduces stigma. We're breaking down walls that kept previous generations isolated and disadvantaged.
But Boomers often see these topics as deeply private. Discussing money was considered crass. Sharing mental health struggles was seen as oversharing weakness. When younger people casually drop these topics into conversation, it can feel boundary-crossing and inappropriate.
The first time I mentioned therapy to my engineer father, he looked like I'd announced I was joining the circus. To him, discussing personal struggles with strangers, then telling other people about it, seemed incomprehensible. We've since found middle ground, but it took time.
6) Job hopping every few years
Younger workers change jobs like they change phone models: frequently and without much sentimentality.
This makes perfect sense in today's economy. Company loyalty rarely pays off. The fastest way to increase your salary is often to leave. Plus, varied experience makes you more marketable.
But to Boomers who spent decades at single companies, this feels disrespectful to employers who invested in training you. They see it as lacking commitment and reliability. How can you build expertise if you're constantly starting over?
When I left finance to become a writer, my parents couldn't understand it. They'd emphasized education my whole life, pushed me toward stability. Leaving a successful career felt like throwing away everything they'd worked for. Learning to set boundaries around discussing my career choices became essential for our relationship.
7) Expecting immediate responses
Send a text to someone under 40, and if they don't respond within hours, something's wrong. This expectation of constant availability feels normal when everyone's always connected.
But Boomers remember when communication took time. You sent a letter and waited weeks. Even early emails might sit for days. The idea that not responding immediately is rude feels suffocating to them.
They see this urgency as impatience and entitlement. Why should they drop everything to answer your text about dinner plans? Can't it wait?
I notice this tension constantly between my parents and younger relatives. Texts go unread for days, causing hurt feelings on one side and frustration on the other. Neither party means disrespect; they're just operating on completely different response-time expectations.
Final thoughts
Here's what I've learned navigating these generational divides: most perceived disrespect isn't intentional. We're all just following the rules we learned, shaped by the world we grew up in.
Younger generations aren't trying to be rude when they check their phones or use first names. They're being normal by their standards. Boomers aren't being uptight when they expect formal titles or committed plans. They're showing respect the way they learned it.
The solution isn't picking a side. It's recognizing these differences and adjusting accordingly. When I'm with my parents, I put my phone away. When they text me, I give them more response time. Small adaptations, major relationship improvements.
Understanding these generational differences has made me better at both mentoring younger colleagues and maintaining peace with my parents. We don't have to agree on everything, but we can at least understand where everyone's coming from.
After all, respect itself isn't generational. How we show it? That's where things get interesting.
