Fresh data turns the spotlight on an unlikely generation’s hidden narcissism—and what it means for workplaces, families, and your next conversation.
Why are boomers so sure millennials invented self-absorption?
That question blindsided me during a quarterly review back in my finance-analyst days. Our C-suite—almost entirely baby boomers—spent half the meeting congratulating themselves for “visionary leadership” while brushing off a junior analyst’s data showing customer loyalty sliding south.
I remember thinking, If this isn’t peak self-focus, what is? A landmark Michigan State study has finally given language to that hunch—and the numbers are hard to ignore. Spoiler: boomers top the narcissism charts.
What the research really says about boomer narcissism
Psychologists at Michigan State University tracked 747 Americans, ages 13 to 77, for nearly a decade—the longest narcissism study to date. Two traits put baby boomers squarely in first place: hypersensitivity (bristling at criticism) and willfulness (pushing their opinions on others).
“Individuals born earlier in the century started off with higher levels of hypersensitivity… as well as willfulness,” lead author William Chopik noted.
Translation? Long before social media handed everyone a megaphone, boomers were already primed to take offense and double-down.
The same data set highlighted a silver lining: narcissism tends to mellow with age, especially after major life jolts—first jobs, tough feedback, caregiving roles. “There’s a sense in which narcissists start to realize that being the way they are isn’t smart if they want meaningful relationships,” Chopik told reporters.
Why we didn’t notice sooner
For more than a decade the cultural spotlight stayed fixed on millennials. TIME’s infamous 2013 cover labeled us the “Me Me Me Generation,” armed with selfies and participation trophies.
Meanwhile, boomers quietly aged into corner offices, Senate seats, and homeowners’ associations—places where defensiveness can masquerade as “experience.”
Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell argue in The Narcissism Epidemic that child-centric parenting, easy credit, and celebrity culture turbo-charged entitlement during the post-war boom.
Those forces reached critical mass just as boomers were launching their careers, giving them a lifelong head-start on the self-importance scale.
The blind-spot effect
Hypersensitive narcissism isn’t always loud. Sometimes it slips in quietly:
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“I’ve paid my dues—don’t question my methods.”
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“Constructive feedback? You’re being disrespectful.”
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“My generation built this company/country; just follow our lead.”
That last line echoed through my old office when a Gen-Z intern proposed a sustainability metric the board hadn’t considered. The idea never left the draft folder; the boomer chair called it “idealistic”—then recycled it six months later as his own.
Self-focus clouds self-awareness, making it hard to see the narcissism others feel.
How boomer narcissism shows up day-to-day
“There’s a sense in which narcissists start to realize that being the way they are isn’t smart if they want meaningful relationships.” — William Chopik, PhD
Yet many boomers haven’t hit that epiphany. Common friction points:
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Workplaces: Agile feedback loops feel like insubordination.
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Family tables: Adult children’s boundaries trigger “After all I’ve done for you…” speeches.
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Civic debates: Boomers dominate town-hall mics, drowning out younger perspectives.
Left unchecked, these patterns erode trust and stall progress. Calling someone a “narcissist,” though, rarely softens their stance. So where does that leave the rest of us?
Power and self-delusion: the Dunning-Kruger twist
The Cornell-born Dunning-Kruger effect shows how overconfidence spikes when insight is low; people literally don’t know what they don’t know. Add decades of professional authority, and the confidence meter can stick on “expert” even as reality changes.
Boomers rose during an era when tenure and titles conferred near-absolute credibility. That structure reinforced a feedback vacuum: colleagues rarely challenged senior leaders, so blind spots calcified. The result? A perfect storm of positional power and cognitive bias.
I see it every summer on local trail-running circuits. A few seasoned racers refuse newer training science—foam rolling is for kids—then wonder why injuries linger. It’s not lack of intellect; it’s the double burden of competence in one era and complacency in the next.
Strategies organizations can steal right now
Hand-wringing won’t fix generational ego, but process can. One evidence-backed tool is reverse mentoring—pairing senior leaders with junior employees as mentors.
Harvard Business Review credits the practice with boosting retention, flattening hierarchies, and sharpening senior execs’ social-media and DEI instincts.
Keys to making it stick:
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Psychological safety first. Make it explicit that juniors can speak freely without career blowback.
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Clear deliverables. Focus sessions on solving real problems—think product feedback, not vague “teach me TikTok.”
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Measure and iterate. Track whether ideas surface faster, not just whether people enjoyed coffee chats.
Early adopters I’ve coached report quieter meetings (less chest-beating) and quicker pivots because senior leaders hear objections sooner and in a non-threatening setting.
Navigating the hypersensitive boomer in your life
Trail-running taught me a handy rule: you can’t change the terrain, only your stride. Same goes for generational ego. Moves that keep the conversation—and your sanity—on track:
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Lead with mutual goals. Boomers value legacy. Frame feedback around preserving what they built.
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Offer data, not digs. Willfulness loses steam against grounded evidence. My finance team finally shifted board opinion by plotting profit leaks—numbers spoke louder than opinions.
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Use “when/then” boundaries. “When we stick to the agenda, then everyone’s points get airtime.” Respectful and concrete.
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Spot the insecurity beneath the armor. Rudá Iandê reminds us that grandiosity often masks uncertainty. Recognizing that soft underbelly turns irritation into empathy.
If you’re a boomer reading this
First, kudos for the curiosity—it’s the opposite of hypersensitive defensiveness. Quick self-scan:
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Do you bristle when someone half your age suggests a new approach?
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Are you more comfortable giving advice than receiving it?
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When conflict flares, is your instinct to defend your legacy?
If “often” rings true, you’re not alone. The MSU team found narcissism can decline with age—especially when reflection ramps up after life transitions.
Try this: recall one time you changed your mind because someone younger had better intel. What unlocked that shift? Journal it. Repeat the mental replay weekly. Neuro-plasticity loves reps.
A broader takeaway for every generation
Psychologist W. Keith Campbell sizes it up: “It’s kind of a narcissistic world”. Boomers may tilt hypersensitive; millennials might default to performative self-branding; Gen Z can oscillate between activist empathy and algorithmic vanity.
Pointing fingers across birth-year lines misses the mark. The real work lies in untangling how each of us seeks validation—and whether that need tramples someone else’s. Shared humanity starts where defensive storylines end.
Turning insight into action
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Audit your validation loops. Who must applaud before you feel secure?
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Practice micro-humility. Once a week, ask someone from another generation for feedback. Accept it silently.
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Diversify your echo chamber. Follow thinkers outside your age bracket. Curiosity punctures narcissistic bubbles better than any lecture.
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Create shared rituals. Monthly cross-gen book clubs or hackathons shift focus from ego to outcome.
I’ve seen boardrooms, book clubs, and volunteer teams transform when members swap defensiveness for dialogue. The shift is subtle—fewer eye-rolls, more “Tell me more.” The ripple effect—innovation, loyalty, trust—is anything but small.
Final thoughts
Boomers didn’t invent narcissism—but this study shows they’re not as immune as cultural narratives suggest. Acknowledging that reality isn’t about generational shaming; it’s about shared responsibility. Each cohort carries its own flavor of ego.
The sooner we name it, the sooner we can laugh—yes, even trail-run—together in the face of that wonderfully human trait we all share: the need to feel significant.
Because self-awareness, unlike entitlement, really does get better with age—if we let it.
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