8 things people said in the 90s that would get them canceled immediately today

Remember when we watched "Friends" and nobody blinked twice at Ross's jealousy being played for laughs? Or when every teen movie had that one character who was just "the gay best friend" with no other personality traits?

The 90s feel like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once. Back then, I was in my twenties, working those brutal 70-hour weeks as a junior analyst, thinking I had the world figured out. Looking back now, I realize how many things we said without a second thought that would have social media in an uproar today.

Some of these phrases were genuinely harmful, others were just products of their time. But here's what fascinates me: examining them shows us how much our collective consciousness has evolved in just three decades.

Let me take you on a trip down memory lane to explore eight things we casually said in the 90s that would definitely not fly today.

1. "That's so gay"

This one makes me cringe to even type. In the 90s, using "gay" as a synonym for "stupid" or "lame" was everywhere. Kids said it in hallways, adults said it at work, and nobody really questioned it.

I remember using this phrase myself without thinking twice about what it actually meant. It wasn't until a colleague quietly pulled me aside in the early 2000s and explained how hurtful it was that I really got it. She told me about growing up terrified that people would find out she was lesbian, and how phrases like this made her feel like her very existence was an insult.

That conversation changed me. Today, using someone's sexual orientation as an insult would rightfully be called out immediately. We've learned that words matter, and casual homophobia wrapped in "just joking" still causes real harm.

2. "I don't see color"

Oh boy, this one seemed so progressive at the time, didn't it? We thought we were being enlightened by claiming we didn't notice race. Plot twist: we were actually dismissing the very real experiences of people of color.

Growing up in my middle-class suburb, I genuinely believed this was the right thing to say. It took me until my late thirties to understand that "not seeing color" meant not seeing the systemic challenges, the microaggressions, and the beautiful cultural differences that make up someone's identity.

Now we know better. Claiming colorblindness doesn't erase racism; it just makes us blind to it. Today, this phrase would be recognized as a form of racial gaslighting that minimizes lived experiences.

3. "Boys will be boys"

This little phrase excused everything from playground bullying to workplace harassment. Aggressive behavior? Boys will be boys. Inappropriate comments? Just boys being boys.

My former boss, a tough woman who'd climbed the corporate ladder when it was even harder than today, once told me she heard this phrase constantly when male colleagues undermined her. She said it taught her that women had to be "tougher than the men" just to be taken seriously, while men's bad behavior got a free pass.

Today, we recognize this phrase for what it is: a cop-out that perpetuates toxic masculinity and lets harmful behavior slide. We're finally holding everyone to the same standards of basic decency, regardless of gender.

4. "You throw like a girl"

Along with its cousins "cry like a girl" and "run like a girl," this phrase was the ultimate playground insult. And yes, I used it too, even as a girl myself. Talk about internalized misogyny.

What's wild is how normalized it was to use femininity as an insult. We were literally teaching kids that being compared to a girl was the worst thing imaginable. No wonder so many of us grew up with complicated relationships with our own gender.

These days, brands like Always have turned this on its head with campaigns celebrating what it really means to do things "like a girl." Spoiler alert: it means doing them powerfully, confidently, and without apology.

5. "That's retarded"

Another one that makes me uncomfortable to even write. This word was thrown around constantly in the 90s as a casual insult for anything deemed stupid or uncool.

The disability rights movement has done incredible work educating us about why this word is harmful. Using a term that describes intellectual disabilities as an insult dehumanizes an entire community of people. It's not edgy or funny; it's cruel.

Today, using this word would rightfully result in immediate backlash. We've learned to expand our vocabulary and find better ways to express ourselves without putting down vulnerable communities.

6. "I'm not racist, but..."

Nothing good ever followed these four words. Ever. This phrase was the 90s equivalent of "with all due respect" right before saying something completely disrespectful.

What's interesting is how people genuinely thought this disclaimer somehow neutralized whatever problematic thing came next. Like saying "no offense" before being offensive somehow made it okay.

Now we understand that starting a sentence this way is basically announcing you're about to say something racist. The internet would have a field day with anyone trying to pull this move today.

7. "Real women have curves"

This one's tricky because it seemed body-positive at the time. After years of "heroin chic" and ultra-thin models, celebrating curvier bodies felt revolutionary.

But here's what we missed: we were still policing women's bodies, just in a different direction. By saying "real women have curves," we implied that thin women weren't "real women." We traded one form of body shaming for another.

Today's body positivity movement recognizes that all bodies are valid. Real women have curves, and real women don't have curves. Real women are whoever identifies as women, in whatever body they inhabit.

8. "You're being so emotional"

The 90s workplace special. Whenever a woman expressed frustration, passion, or even just... opinions, out came this phrase to shut her down.

I heard this constantly during my early analyst days. Show enthusiasm? Too emotional. Express concern? So emotional. Meanwhile, male colleagues could bang tables in meetings and get called "passionate leaders."

Today, we recognize this as gaslighting and sexist dismissal of women's valid feelings and perspectives. We're finally understanding that emotions aren't weaknesses, and dismissing someone's point because they care about it is just bad logic.

Final thoughts

Reading through this list might make you uncomfortable. Good. Growth is supposed to be uncomfortable.

Some of you might be thinking, "But we didn't mean any harm!" And you're probably right. Most of us were just repeating what we heard, not thinking about the impact of our words. But impact matters more than intent, and ignorance isn't an excuse anymore.

The beautiful thing about looking back at these phrases is seeing how far we've come. Yes, we have a long way to go, but the fact that these sentences would cause immediate backlash today shows real progress.

We're learning, we're growing, and we're doing better. And honestly? That gives me hope for what the next 30 years might bring.