8 things boomers comment on about other people that younger generations consider rude

Growing up, I spent countless Sunday dinners at my grandparents' house, where conversations often centered around what everyone else was doing wrong. "Did you see how much weight Sarah's gained?" my grandmother would ask while passing the mashed potatoes. "And that tattoo on her arm? What was she thinking?"

Back then, this seemed normal. Commentary about others' appearances, life choices, and personal habits flowed as freely as the gravy.

But as I've gotten older and watched generational dynamics shift, I've noticed something striking: what older generations often consider casual observation or "just being honest," younger folks increasingly see as unnecessarily judgmental or downright rude.

This disconnect isn't about being overly sensitive or politically correct. It's about recognizing that commenting on certain aspects of other people's lives can be hurtful, invasive, or simply none of our business.

And while not every boomer engages in these behaviors (and plenty of younger people do), there are definite patterns I've observed that tend to split along generational lines.

If you're wondering whether some of your go-to conversation topics might be landing differently than you intend, here are eight types of comments that younger generations often find inappropriate.

1. Comments about weight and body changes

"You've lost weight! You look so much better!" or "Looks like someone's been enjoying the holidays a little too much!"

These might seem like harmless observations or even compliments to some, but for many younger people, any unsolicited commentary about bodies is off-limits.

We've learned that weight fluctuations can be tied to health issues, medications, stress, or eating disorders. Even "positive" comments can reinforce the idea that someone's worth is tied to their appearance.

I remember running into an old family friend who immediately said, "You're so skinny now! You must tell me your secret!" What she didn't know was that I'd been dealing with stress-related health issues. Her well-meaning comment left me feeling exposed and uncomfortable.

The shift here is recognizing that bodies are personal, and unless someone specifically brings up their own body changes, it's better to focus on other aspects of reconnecting with them.

2. Questions about relationship status and marriage

"So when are you getting married?" "Still single?" "Don't wait too long, your biological clock is ticking!"

For many boomers, these questions feel like natural small talk, showing interest in someone's life. But younger generations often experience them as pressure-filled invasions of privacy. Relationships are complex, personal, and develop on their own timelines.

Some people are happily single by choice. Others might be struggling with fertility, going through a difficult breakup, or questioning their sexuality. These seemingly innocent questions can touch on deeply personal struggles that aren't appropriate for casual conversation.

3. Unsolicited parenting advice or judgment

Whether it's commenting on someone's decision to have kids, not have kids, or how they're raising the ones they have, this is territory that younger parents (and non-parents) increasingly consider off-limits.

"You'll regret not having children" or "In my day, we didn't let kids have screens" might feel like wisdom-sharing, but it often comes across as judgmental and dismissive of individual circumstances and choices.

Having chosen not to have children myself, I've lost count of the times older relatives have assured me I'll "change my mind" or that I'm "missing out on life's greatest joy." These comments dismiss my carefully considered life choice and assume they know better than I do about my own life.

4. Comments about career choices and work ethic

"Kids these days just don't want to work hard" or "Why would you leave a stable job to pursue that?"

The working world has changed dramatically, and what constituted career success for boomers often looks very different for younger generations. Gig economy work, remote positions, and career pivots are increasingly common and valued.

When I left my finance job to become a writer, my mother struggled to understand. She still introduces me as "my daughter who worked in finance" rather than acknowledging my current career.

Comments that dismiss non-traditional career paths or suggest younger people are lazy ignore the economic realities and evolving values of today's workforce.

5. Appearance-based observations about aging

"You look tired" or "Is that a gray hair I see?" or "You're starting to look your age!"

While these might be meant as casual observations or even concern, commenting on signs of aging or tiredness serves no constructive purpose. If someone looks tired, they probably know it. Pointing it out doesn't help and can make them feel self-conscious.

Younger generations tend to view these comments as unnecessary criticism disguised as concern. We're working to dismantle the idea that aging is something to be ashamed of or hidden, and casual comments about appearance undermine these efforts.

6. Financial status observations

"That must have cost a fortune!" "How can you afford that?" "Must be nice to have that kind of money."

Money has always been a somewhat taboo topic, but younger generations are particularly sensitive to comments that probe into or make assumptions about financial situations. Whether someone's purchase seems extravagant or frugal to you, commenting on it puts them in an awkward position.

These observations can be especially tone-deaf given the different economic challenges facing younger generations, from student loan debt to housing costs that have far outpaced wage growth.

7. Mental health dismissals

"Everyone gets sad sometimes, you don't need therapy" or "We didn't have anxiety in my day, we just got on with it."

Perhaps no area shows the generational divide more clearly than attitudes toward mental health. While therapy and mental health discussions have become destigmatized for younger people, many boomers still view them as signs of weakness or self-indulgence.

Comments that minimize mental health struggles or suggest people should just "toughen up" can be deeply hurtful and dangerous. They dismiss real medical conditions and can prevent people from seeking help they need.

8. Lifestyle and dietary choices

"You're vegan? But where do you get your protein?" "That's not real food" or "We didn't have all these dietary restrictions in my day."

Food choices have become increasingly personal and varied, whether for health, ethical, or environmental reasons. What might feel like curious questions or gentle teasing to older generations often comes across as judgment or dismissal of carefully considered choices.

As someone who's been vegan for years, I've heard every joke and concerned question imaginable. While some come from genuine curiosity, the constant need to defend or explain personal choices gets exhausting.

Final thoughts

Reading through this list, you might think, "But we can't say anything anymore!" That's not the point. The goal isn't to eliminate conversation but to evolve it. Younger generations aren't asking for silence; they're asking for more thoughtful, respectful dialogue that recognizes personal boundaries and individual autonomy.

The good news? It's actually pretty simple to adjust. Instead of commenting on someone's appearance, ask about their recent projects or hobbies. Rather than questioning life choices, show interest in what brings them joy. Replace unsolicited advice with genuine curiosity about their experiences.

These shifts don't just prevent awkwardness or hurt feelings. They open the door to deeper, more meaningful connections across generations. When we stop focusing on surface-level observations and judgments, we create space for real conversation about ideas, dreams, challenges, and experiences.

After all, isn't that what we're all looking for? Not just polite small talk, but genuine connection and understanding across the generational divide.