7 phrases boomers use to end phone conversations that go on for another five minutes anyway

You know that feeling when you're trying to wrap up a phone call with your parents, and somehow twenty minutes later you're still on the line talking about the neighbor's new fence?

Last Sunday, I called my mom to quickly confirm Thanksgiving plans. Five minutes, tops, I told myself. But after she said "Well, I'll let you go" for the third time, we somehow ended up discussing everything from her friend's hip replacement to the best way to store winter squash.

By the time we actually hung up, my trail run had turned into a brisk walk around the block.

If you've ever found yourself trapped in this conversational purgatory, you're not alone. There's something endearing yet maddening about how certain phrases meant to end conversations become launching pads for entirely new discussions. And let's be honest, our boomer parents have perfected this art form.

After years of these marathon calls (and quietly timing them for my own sanity), I've identified the classic phrases that signal the beginning of the end that never quite ends. Here are seven favorites that anyone with boomer parents will recognize immediately.

1. "Well, I'll let you go"

This is the granddaddy of all false endings. When you hear these words, you might think freedom is near. You'd be wrong.

What follows is usually something like, "Oh, but before you go, did I tell you about Susan from church?" And suddenly you're hearing about Susan's daughter's wedding plans, her son's new job, and how she makes the best potato salad for the church potluck.

I've learned to mentally prepare for at least another ten minutes when I hear this phrase. Sometimes I actually start doing dishes or folding laundry because I know we're nowhere close to done. The irony? They're not really letting you go at all. They're just warming up for act two.

2. "I won't keep you"

Spoiler alert: They will absolutely keep you.

This phrase is usually followed by "but real quick" and then a story that is neither real nor quick. My dad is the master of this one. He'll say he won't keep me, then launch into a detailed explanation of why he switched insurance providers, complete with a cost-benefit analysis that would make my old finance colleagues proud.

The thing is, when boomers say they won't keep you, what they really mean is they recognize you might be busy but they have just a few more things to share. And by a few, I mean everything that's happened since you last talked, plus some things that happened years ago but suddenly seem relevant.

3. "One more thing"

Remember that old TV detective Columbo? He'd be leaving a room, then turn around with "Just one more thing" before revealing the crucial detail that solved the case. Our parents watched that show, and apparently, they took notes.

Except instead of solving murders, they're remembering they wanted to tell you about the new grocery store that opened up, or asking if you've been taking your vitamins, or wondering if you saw that article about kale they sent you three weeks ago.

The "one more thing" is never actually one thing. Like potato chips, you can't have just one. It multiplies into a cascade of remembered topics, each triggering another memory or concern.

4. "Anyway..."

This transitional word should signal a conclusion, right? In boomer phone calls, it's more like a reset button.

"Anyway..." pause... "Oh! Did I mention your cousin got promoted?"

And we're off again. The anyway becomes a bridge to nowhere, or rather, a bridge to everywhere. It's like they're trying to end the conversation but their brain keeps serving up new topics like a conversational buffet that never closes.

I've noticed my mom uses "anyway" about four times per call, each time followed by something completely unrelated to what we were just discussing. We could be talking about my weekend plans, she'll say "anyway," and suddenly we're discussing her book club's latest pick.

5. "I know you're busy"

This acknowledgment of your busy schedule is sweet, really. They recognize you have things to do. But recognition and action are two very different things.

"I know you're busy, but have you thought about what you're doing for retirement?" And there goes another fifteen minutes discussing 401ks, investment strategies, and why I should be maxing out my contributions.

The phrase comes from a place of love and concern. My parents, with their emphasis on financial security and planning, can't help but worry. My dad's health scare a few years back only intensified this need to make sure everything is in order. But knowing I'm busy doesn't actually make the conversation shorter.

6. "Well, alright then"

You might think this sounds final. It has that conclusive ring to it, like a judge's gavel coming down. But no.

"Well, alright then. Oh, before I forget, the Johnsons are moving to Florida."

And now you're getting the complete history of the Johnsons, people you may have met once at a barbecue in 1997. You'll learn about their house sale, their daughter's divorce, and their plans to buy a condo near the beach.

This phrase is particularly tricky because it really does sound like an ending. Your brain starts to relax, thinking the finish line is in sight. Then boom, you're back in the conversation marathon.

7. "Let me just tell you this quickly"

Nothing that follows this phrase is ever quick. Ever.

My mother, bless her teacher's heart, cannot tell a story without context, backstory, and usually a few tangential subplots. "Let me just tell you this quickly about the farmer's market," becomes a saga involving vendor politics, organic certification debates, and a detailed comparison of tomato varieties.

The word "quickly" in boomer vocabulary apparently means something entirely different than it does in the rest of the English-speaking world. Quick to them means under thirty minutes. Quick to us means under thirty seconds.

Final thoughts

Here's what I've learned after years of these extended goodbyes: they're not really about the information being shared. These drawn-out endings are how our parents show love, maintain connection, and reassure themselves that we're okay.

Every unnecessary detail about the neighbor's health or reminder to check our tire pressure is really them saying "I love you" and "I'm thinking about you." Those extra minutes that sometimes drive us crazy? They're actually pretty precious when you think about it.

So now when my mom says "Well, I'll let you go" and then keeps talking, I grab my headphones and head out to the garden. I pull weeds or harvest vegetables while she tells me about her friend's granddaughter's graduation or reminds me to schedule my dental cleaning. Sometimes the best conversations happen in those unplanned extra minutes, even if they started ten minutes ago when someone tried to say goodbye.

Sure, I still occasionally find myself doing the universal "wrap it up" hand gesture to no one in particular. But I also remember that these long goodbyes won't last forever, and someday I might actually miss them.

Well, I'll let you go now. But first, did I mention...?