8 “back in my day” comments boomers make that quietly belittle younger generations

Some comments from older generations are meant to be nostalgic. Others… well, they land differently.

The thing is, a casual “back in my day” isn’t always just reminiscing about the past. Sometimes, it’s a subtle way of saying “things were better when I was your age”—and by implication, that you’re not doing it right now.

And often, these remarks gloss over the fact that each generation deals with its own set of challenges. What was true in 1978 isn’t necessarily true now—and vice versa.

Here are eight examples that may sound harmless but often carry a quiet sting.

1. “We didn’t need technology to have fun”

It sounds innocent enough—until you realize the subtext is that your enjoyment isn’t “real” because it’s connected to a screen.

Yes, previous generations had fun without smartphones, but they also had rotary phones and no Wi-Fi. Times change. Fun changes.

I’ve had just as much of a rush beating a friend at Mario Kart as I have hiking in Yosemite. One doesn’t cancel out the other. And frankly, tech has opened doors for connection that never existed before. During lockdowns, for example, gaming, streaming parties, and group video calls weren’t just entertainment—they were lifelines.

As psychologist Jean Twenge points out, technology is not simply filling a void—it has fundamentally reshaped how we communicate and define generations. It’s woven into social life, not replacing it entirely.

And here’s the kicker: plenty of boomers are on Facebook for hours a day. So maybe the “too much screen time” critique isn’t just a young people problem.

2. “We worked hard for everything we had”

This one can hit like a subtle jab.

The implication? You’re not working hard enough—or that what you’ve achieved is somehow less impressive because life is supposedly “easier” now.

But hard work looks different depending on the economy you inherit. A 1970s college student could work a part-time summer job and cover tuition for the year. Today’s students often juggle full-time studies, part-time work, internships, and still rack up debt that could buy a small house in 1975.

I’ve mentioned this before in another post, but measuring effort across decades without factoring in inflation, automation, and market shifts isn’t a fair comparison.

And it’s not like younger generations aren’t working. Many have “side hustles” on top of their main job just to keep up. If anything, the hustle culture we live in now has blurred the line between work and personal life in a way that boomers never had to navigate.

3. “We just got on with it—no complaining”

This one usually comes out when someone is talking about burnout, mental health, or workplace stress.

The message is clear: previous generations toughed it out, so you should too.

But as noted by Brené Brown, denying painful emotions doesn’t make you stronger—it disconnects you from your truth. As she writes, “We cannot selectively numb emotions: when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”

The fact that younger generations talk openly about mental health isn’t a weakness. It’s real progress.

I’ve traveled to countries where talking about your struggles is still taboo, and the long-term effects aren’t pretty. Suppressed feelings tend to leak out in other ways—anger, illness, or fractured relationships.

The irony? Many boomers now wish they’d been more open earlier in life. I’ve had older friends admit that staying silent about stress or trauma cost them years of happiness. That’s not a tradition worth preserving.

4. “We respected our elders”

On the surface, it’s about manners. Underneath, it can be a way to shut down any disagreement.

Of course respect matters. But respect should be mutual, not automatically granted because of age.

I remember working with a senior colleague who expected unquestioning agreement on every decision. When I respectfully challenged him on a project detail, he replied with, “You millennials just don’t have respect.”
What he really meant was, “I don’t like being questioned.”

Good leaders—regardless of generation—welcome dialogue. Respect isn’t about blind obedience; it’s about listening and learning from each other.

And fun fact: boomers didn’t always “respect their elders” either. The counterculture movements of the ’60s and ’70s were, in many ways, a massive rebellion against the “respect at all costs” mindset of their parents.

5. “We didn’t need participation trophies”

The classic dig at younger generations’ supposed need for validation.

What often gets missed is that boomers were the ones handing out those trophies in the first place. They were the parents, coaches, and teachers who set up the system.

In my old soccer league, the participation medals were less about inflating egos and more about encouraging kids to stay active and engaged. Motivation isn’t a bad thing, especially in formative years.

Plus, recognition isn’t exclusive to kids. In the workplace, even boomers appreciate an award, a shoutout, or a bonus. It’s human nature to enjoy acknowledgment.

And here’s another truth: some younger people hate participation trophies. Many would rather earn something meaningful than collect a dust-gathering ribbon. The idea that we’re all desperate for constant praise is more myth than fact.

6. “We didn’t have all this debt”

This one is usually framed as proof of better financial responsibility. But the math tells a different story.

According to Federal Reserve data, the cost of housing, education, and healthcare has far outpaced wage growth over the last four decades. Debt isn’t simply a result of poor choices—it’s often a reflection of structural shifts.

When boomers bought their first homes, the median price-to-income ratio was manageable. Now, in many cities, it’s so high that even saving aggressively feels like chasing a moving target.

I once met a couple in Portugal who told me they bought their seaside apartment for the equivalent of $20,000 in the early ’80s. Today, you couldn’t rent a closet in Lisbon for that. Context matters.

And yes, there are ways to be smart with money now. But even the most disciplined budgeter can’t fully “out-save” an economy that stacks the odds against them.

7. “We didn’t rely on handouts”

This comment often surfaces in conversations about government aid, student loan forgiveness, or even workplace benefits.

It assumes that seeking help is a character flaw rather than a strategic choice.

Social interdependence theory reveals that humans are inherently reliant on one another: we thrive when resources are shared and support systems are in place. In essence, we don't flourish alone—seeking help often signals adaptability and resilience, not incapability.

During my own career pivots, I’ve relied on mentorship programs and professional grants. Without them, I wouldn’t have gained certain skills or had the freedom to experiment with creative work.

And let’s not forget—boomer-era households benefited from their own forms of support, from affordable GI Bill education to strong union protections. It’s not that they didn’t get help; it’s that their help was more normalized.

8. “We knew how to save”

This one can be well-intentioned but still dismissive.

Sure, saving is important. But saving a slice of your paycheck when rent was $200 a month is a different ballgame than doing it when rent is $2,000.

Younger generations are also navigating a consumer landscape designed for spending—subscription models, microtransactions, and targeted ads that didn’t exist 40 years ago. Financial literacy is still key, but pretending it’s only about personal discipline ignores the bigger picture.

When I was in Japan, I learned about the “kakeibo” method of budgeting, which is as much about mindful spending as it is about saving. It works in any economy—but it’s far more challenging when your essentials eat up most of your income.

Also worth noting: boomers grew up in an era where bank savings accounts actually earned decent interest. Today, if your money isn’t invested, it’s probably losing value to inflation. Saving “like they did” isn’t just harder—it’s a completely different equation.

The bottom line

Not every “back in my day” comment is meant to belittle. Sometimes it’s just storytelling.

But when these comments subtly imply that younger generations are lazier, weaker, or less capable, they shut down understanding instead of building it.

Times change. The pressures change. The tools we use to navigate them change.

And if we can listen to each other without dismissing lived realities, maybe we can bridge the generational gap—without anyone needing to roll their eyes.