7 things upper-middle-class people post on social media that make them look tone-deaf

We live in an age where posting online is second nature. But here’s the thing—sometimes what feels like “sharing” to one person reads as “showing off” to another.

And for many in the upper-middle-class bracket, the line between celebrating and flexing can get blurry fast. What comes across as a casual update to them can feel like a reminder of inequality to someone else.

Social media can be a window into your world—or a mirror that reflects blind spots you didn’t even realize you had. And when it comes across as tone-deaf, it not only alienates people but can also chip away at credibility and trust.

Here are seven examples of posts that often land wrong, plus some thoughts on how to share without sending the wrong signal.

1. Humblebrags about luxury purchases

You’ve seen it. Someone posts a photo of their new Tesla with a caption like, “Finally upgraded after driving my old car for 18 months—couldn’t take it anymore!”

It’s meant to sound lighthearted, but let’s be real—most people are still stretching their budgets just to cover rent or gas. A “casual” flex about what feels like a basic upgrade to one person comes off as oblivious to another.

This isn’t limited to cars, either. I’ve seen people post about remodeling their “tiny” 3,000-square-foot homes or replacing appliances that most people would dream of owning in the first place.

The irony? Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that humblebragging is one of the least effective forms of self-promotion—it tends to lower likeability instead of boosting it. People perceive humblebraggers as insincere, which undercuts the very admiration they’re hoping to gain.

If you’re genuinely excited about something, own it. Skip the pretense. Because the “I’m just like you” undertone doesn’t land when you’re holding keys to a $90k car.

And if you’re sharing simply to validate your purchase? Maybe pause and ask: Do I need likes for this, or am I okay just enjoying it myself?

2. Over-the-top vacation recaps

I once scrolled through a friend’s thirty-photo album from their two-week Mediterranean cruise. Every caption was dripping with comparisons—“This is nothing like the beaches back home” or “Finally experiencing what real wine tastes like.”

By the tenth post, I wasn’t admiring the trip anymore. I was exhausted.

Travel is a privilege. Posting endless highlight reels of private tours, infinity pools, and business-class flights can rub people the wrong way—especially when many followers are working double shifts with no vacation days in sight.

Don’t get me wrong: travel posts aren’t inherently bad. In fact, they can be inspiring. But tone matters. When captions center around comparison or superiority, it tips into arrogance.

As author Alain de Botton once noted, “Our capacity to derive satisfaction is closely tied to comparison.” Social media magnifies this truth. If your vacation story sparks envy rather than connection, it loses its magic.

Want to post about travel in a more grounded way? Share the quirky details. Talk about the local café that made you feel at home or the tiny mishap that made you laugh. Relatability beats exclusivity every time.

3. Complaints about first-world problems

“Ugh, my cleaning service canceled today, now I have to vacuum myself.”
“Starbucks ran out of oat milk—what’s even the point?”

These posts are often intended as jokes. But they reveal a lack of perspective. To someone juggling bills, health issues, or childcare, grumbling about minor inconveniences feels dismissive of real struggles.

I remember back when I was still working as a financial analyst, one of my coworkers used to constantly complain about how “stressful” it was to manage his multiple investment properties.

Meanwhile, another colleague was working a second job at night just to afford rent. The disconnect was obvious—and the resentment it stirred was real.

It’s not that you can’t share frustrations. We all do. But when the struggles being broadcast are luxuries in disguise, it can make the poster look out of touch. A little self-awareness goes a long way here.

Instead of venting about first-world problems, try sharing genuine humor or gratitude. Humor makes people laugh with you, not at you. Gratitude grounds you and resonates far more deeply.

4. Kids’ elite achievements

Parents love to brag about their children—I get it.

But when every update is about private violin recitals, exclusive robotics camps, or college acceptance letters to $70k-a-year schools, it can veer into tone-deaf territory.

The intention is usually pride. The effect, however, can be exclusion. It reinforces privilege in a way that may make other parents feel their child’s perfectly normal accomplishments aren’t good enough.

I remember a conversation with a mom at a farmers’ market where I volunteer. She told me she hesitates to post about her daughter’s art because “everyone else’s kids are at these elite programs, and mine just loves drawing at home.” That hesitation says a lot about the ripple effect of curated bragging.

And here’s something experts point out: studies on “social comparison” show that parents, in particular, feel pressure when they see peers posting about their children’s achievements. It creates a cycle of competitive parenting that isn’t healthy for anyone.

Celebrate your kids, yes—but with balance and humility. Highlight the joy in their passion, not just the prestige of the achievement.

5. Excessive fitness and wellness flexes

Posting about health can be inspiring—until it’s not.

A daily barrage of $200-a-month Pilates classes, private nutritionists, and “casual” marathon training can start to feel more like an exhibition than encouragement. Especially when it’s framed as “No excuses, if I can do it, anyone can.”

Well, not everyone has the money, time, or access. Fitness privilege is real, and ignoring it comes across as blind.

I once had a client (back when I was doing some financial coaching on the side) who said she felt guilty scrolling through wellness influencers’ feeds. She worked twelve-hour shifts and barely had time to cook dinner, let alone hire a personal chef or attend boutique classes. Instead of motivation, she felt shame.

Sociologist Kari Lerum highlights how wellness culture often camouflages privilege as discipline—turning access into perceived merit and masking inequality behind aspirational visuals.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate our progress. But when every update looks like a glossy ad for an inaccessible lifestyle, it risks pushing people farther away from—not drawing them in to—well-being.

Want to inspire? Share the small, real wins. The morning walk that helped clear your head. The healthy meal you cooked with what was already in your pantry. Those are the posts people can relate to—and maybe even try themselves.

6. Charity framed as self-promotion

There’s a big difference between raising awareness and raising your own profile.

Posting about volunteering at a food bank or donating to a cause isn’t inherently bad. But when the photos are staged, or captions focus more on the giver than the giving, the sincerity gets lost.

Think about it: “Look at me serving meals to the homeless” reads very differently than “This organization does amazing work—here’s how you can support them.”

Psychologists studying altruism have found that public displays of giving can backfire when the motive seems self-serving. In other words, if the takeaway is “good person points” rather than “here’s how to help,” it lands tone-deaf.

I’ve noticed the most impactful posts don’t even feature the poster at all. Instead, they spotlight the organization’s mission, the people served, or practical ways others can get involved. That approach builds trust and spreads awareness without making it about ego.

7. Flaunting exclusivity

Whether it’s front-row seats at a sold-out concert, dining at restaurants with six-month waitlists, or name-dropping invites to private events—exclusive access posts can sting.

I’ve noticed this especially when people emphasize “not everyone gets this chance.” It transforms what could be a fun share into a hierarchy marker.

The truth is, exclusivity thrives on exclusion. And while social media rewards novelty, constantly flaunting what others can’t have is a quick way to come across as detached from everyday life.

A friend of mine once posted about attending a private wine tasting at a Napa vineyard, complete with hashtags like #EliteExperiences and #NotForEveryone. Needless to say, it didn’t exactly spark admiration—it sparked irritation.

The alternative? Share experiences without making scarcity the punchline. Focus on the story, not the status. That way, it becomes something your audience can enjoy alongside you, not something they feel shut out of.

Final thoughts

Here’s the kicker: most people who make these posts aren’t trying to be tone-deaf. They’re excited, proud, or simply sharing their lives. But intention doesn’t erase impact.

Social media is a stage, and every post signals something about who we are and what we value. When those signals unintentionally highlight privilege without awareness, the message shifts from connection to alienation.

The solution isn’t to stop posting—it’s to post with perspective. Celebrate wins without diminishing others. Share experiences without framing them as comparisons. Highlight causes without centering yourself.

Because in the end, tone-deafness isn’t about having nice things, fun experiences, or personal pride. It’s about forgetting that not everyone’s life looks the same—and that empathy is what keeps us human, even online.