7 surprising signs you’re the “cool grandparent” everyone wishes they had

Grandparenting has come a long way from the image of a rocking chair on the porch and peppermints hidden in a coat pocket. These days, being the “cool grandparent” isn’t about pretending to be younger than you are—it’s about presence, curiosity, and connection.

And here’s the funny thing: you might not even realize you’re already doing it.

Cool grandparents aren’t always the loudest or flashiest. Often, they’re the ones who know how to create a safe, fun space where kids feel comfortable being themselves. The ones who can balance wisdom with playfulness.

So how do you know if you’re pulling it off? Let’s dive into seven surprisingly simple ways you may already be the grandparent everyone secretly wishes was theirs.

1. You stay curious about the world

Curiosity doesn’t have an expiration date. In fact, I’d argue it’s what keeps us feeling alive.

If you’re still learning, asking questions, or exploring new hobbies, your grandkids are watching. They notice when you pick up a book about something you don’t understand, try a new recipe, or ask them to explain the latest trend in music or fashion.

It’s not about being hip—it’s about being engaged. Kids want to feel that their interests matter. When you say, “Tell me what’s cool about this band you like,” instead of dismissing it as noise, you instantly build a bridge.

Psychologist George Vaillant, longtime director of Harvard’s Study of Adult Development, emphasized that maintaining curiosity and generativity deeply influences well-being later in life—more so than fame or wealth.

That spirit of curiosity is contagious. When your grandkids see you leaning into life with wonder, they learn that growing older doesn’t mean growing stagnant.

And honestly? They’ll brag about it. Because it’s not every day you meet a grandparent who wants to hear about anime or who takes an interest in sustainable fashion or who joins them at a food truck festival just to try something new.

2. You meet them where they are

Think back: did you ever have an adult in your life who made you feel like what you cared about really mattered?

Whether it was sitting cross-legged on the floor with you, watching your favorite show without eye rolls, or asking about your friendships, it felt good, didn’t it?

That’s exactly what today’s kids are craving. Meeting them where they are doesn’t mean you have to love every video game or memorize all the lyrics to their favorite songs. It means showing genuine interest and respect.

I remember once my niece spent weeks perfecting a TikTok dance. She nervously showed it to me, expecting me to laugh it off. Instead, I asked her to teach me the steps. We laughed until our stomachs hurt. She still talks about that moment because it wasn’t about the dance—it was about me stepping into her world.

When grandparents do that, they send a powerful message: Your world is worth my time. And that’s something kids never forget.

3. You don’t shy away from technology

I get it—technology can feel intimidating. New apps pop up every week, and even figuring out the TV remote sometimes feels like a puzzle. But here’s the thing: just the fact that you’re willing to learn earns you instant credibility with your grandkids.

Maybe you FaceTime regularly, send emojis that make them laugh, or surprise them with a funny filter. Maybe you even play an online game together. These little moments prove you’re not stuck in “the old ways.”

My own mom (who became a grandmother last year) taught herself how to use WhatsApp stickers so she could send goofy “good morning” images. At first, it was awkward. Now, her grandkids wake up excited to see what she’ll send next. It’s become a family ritual.

When you embrace technology, you’re saying: I want to stay connected to you on your turf. That’s a kind of cool that can’t be faked.

4. You have your own life (and they think it’s kind of awesome)

Cool grandparents don’t stop living once their grandkids arrive. Instead, they model what it looks like to keep passions alive at every stage of life.

Do you garden, travel, volunteer, paint, or run? Do you have hobbies that light you up? If so, your grandkids are probably quietly impressed.

One of my neighbors still does triathlons at seventy. Her grandkids cheer her on from the sidelines like she’s a celebrity. They love telling people, “My grandma’s a triathlete.”

You don’t have to be extreme, though. Even maintaining a community garden, organizing a book club, or showing up every Saturday at the farmers’ market sends the same message: life keeps going.

And here’s the kicker: it makes your time with them richer. They don’t just see you as “grandma” or “grandpa.” They see you as a whole person who has passions, adventures, and stories worth sharing. That makes you endlessly more interesting.

5. You’re generous with laughter

You don’t need to have a comedian’s timing to be funny. Cool grandparents laugh easily and make space for joy.

Maybe you tell corny jokes. Maybe you laugh at your own mistakes. Maybe you turn the simplest moments into fun—a silly face during dinner, a dramatic reading of a bedtime story, a fake argument over who gets the last cookie.

There’s a saying often attributed to Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Laughter is one of the feelings kids hold onto the longest.

I’ll never forget my grandfather pretending the garden hose was a snake when I was little. Totally silly. But that memory is carved in stone because it made me feel like joy mattered.

When you laugh with your grandkids, you’re teaching them that life doesn’t have to be so serious. That even at seventy or eighty, play still has a place.

6. You listen without judgment

This might be the most underrated quality of all.

Grandkids want to feel heard—not constantly corrected. If you’re the grandparent who listens without rushing in with criticism, you’ve already earned their trust.

Sometimes that means biting your tongue. If a teen is telling you about a new relationship or a questionable fashion choice, it can be tempting to jump in with, “That’s not a good idea.” But cool grandparents know when to hold back.

Psychological research underscores how crucial that non-judgmental listening is. Studies have found that children are more likely to confide in grandparents when they perceive them as safe from criticism—especially during tough times like bullying, friendship drama, or anxiety about the future

And isn’t that the highest honor? To be the safe place, the calm in the storm, simply because you listened?

7. You create memories instead of collecting things

Sure, gifts are nice. But the grandparents kids remember the most aren’t the ones who gave them the biggest toy. They’re the ones who created lasting rituals.

Maybe it’s baking cookies every holiday. Maybe it’s an annual fishing trip. Maybe it’s a made-up song you always sing together in the car.

Those little traditions become anchors in a child’s life. They grow up and realize those moments weren’t just fun—they were love in action.

In fact, family psychologists often point out that shared rituals strengthen bonds far more than material gifts. Kids rarely say, “My grandpa got me a cool toy in 2012.” But they will say, “Every summer, grandma taught me how to can tomatoes, and now I do it with my own kids.”

That’s legacy. That’s cool.

Final thoughts

Being the “cool grandparent” isn’t about wearing trendy sneakers or keeping up with every slang term (though if you do, bonus points).

It’s about showing up with curiosity. It’s about laughing when things go wrong. It’s about listening without turning every story into a lecture. And most of all, it’s about creating space for joy and connection.

The truth is, your grandkids don’t want perfection. They want presence. They want someone who makes them feel valued and seen.

If you’re already doing these seven things—even in small ways—chances are, you’re cooler than you think.

And the best part? Coolness at this stage of life has nothing to do with image and everything to do with heart.