If you use these 10 phrases when meeting someone new, you'll make them light up almost immediately

Ever notice how some people just have that magical ability to make instant connections? You know the ones. They walk into a room and within minutes, they're chatting away like old friends with complete strangers.

I used to think this was some innate gift, something you either had or you didn't. But after years of observing these social butterflies in action, from networking events during my finance days to casual encounters on trail runs, I've discovered their secret weapon: the phrases they use.

These aren't manipulative tricks or fake compliments. They're genuine expressions that make people feel seen, heard, and valued. And the best part? Anyone can learn to use them.

If you want to become someone who lights up a room and makes others feel instantly comfortable, these ten phrases will transform your interactions.

1. "You look like someone who would know..."

This phrase is pure gold when you need to start a conversation with someone new. It positions them as knowledgeable and interesting before you've even asked your question.

I discovered this one at a farmers' market where I volunteer. Instead of awkwardly approaching vendors with generic questions, I started saying things like, "You look like someone who would know where to find the best heirloom tomatoes." The response? Immediate smiles and enthusiastic help.

Why does it work so well? Because you're giving them a compliment wrapped in a request for their expertise. People love feeling competent and helpful. This phrase does both.

2. "That's such an interesting perspective, I hadn't thought of it that way"

When someone shares an opinion or viewpoint, this response shows you're truly listening and valuing their input. It doesn't matter if you ultimately agree or not. What matters is acknowledging their unique way of seeing things.

I learned this while mentoring young women entering finance. Instead of immediately jumping in with my own experiences or advice, I started using this phrase. The shift was remarkable. They opened up more, shared deeper insights, and felt genuinely heard.

3. "What's the story behind that?"

See someone wearing an interesting piece of jewelry? Notice a unique tattoo or an unusual book they're reading? This question invites them to share something meaningful.

People rarely get asked about the things that matter to them. When you show genuine curiosity about something they've chosen to display or carry, you're essentially saying, "I see you as more than just another face in the crowd."

4. "You remind me of someone who..."

Follow this with a positive observation. "You remind me of someone who really knows their coffee" or "You remind me of someone who has great taste in music."

This works because you're not making assumptions. You're sharing an impression that invites them to either confirm or correct it. Either way, it opens up a natural conversation path.

5. "I'm trying to decide between X and Y, what would you choose?"

Whether you're at a coffee shop deciding between drinks or at an event choosing between sessions, this phrase instantly involves the other person in your world.

When I joined my trail running group, I used this constantly. "I'm trying to decide between the 5K route and the 10K, what would you choose?" It gave people permission to share their preferences and often led to running partners and new friendships.

6. "You seem really passionate about that"

When someone's eyes light up talking about something, acknowledge it. This phrase validates their enthusiasm and encourages them to share more.

The key here is authenticity. Don't say it unless you mean it. People can sense fake interest from a mile away. But when someone genuinely gets excited about a topic, pointing it out makes them feel understood.

7. "I love how you explained that"

This goes beyond just complimenting what someone said. You're appreciating how they communicated it. Maybe they used a great analogy, or perhaps they broke down something complex into simple terms.

As someone who transitioned from being a financial analyst to a writer, I know how hard clear communication can be. When you appreciate someone's ability to express themselves, you're recognizing a skill that often goes unnoticed.

8. "That must have taken a lot of courage"

When someone shares a challenging experience or a difficult decision they made, this phrase acknowledges their strength without being patronizing.

I've learned to be the friend who listens instead of the friend who problem-solves everything. This phrase became my go-to response when people opened up about their struggles. It validates their experience without minimizing it or rushing to fix it.

9. "What got you interested in that?"

This question goes deeper than surface-level small talk. Instead of just asking what someone does, you're asking about their journey and motivations.

Use this when someone mentions their job, hobby, or interest. It transforms a potentially boring exchange into a meaningful conversation about passion and purpose.

10. "I'd love to hear more about that sometime"

This phrase does two beautiful things. First, it shows genuine interest in what they're saying. Second, it opens the door for future connection without putting pressure on the current moment.

Maybe you're at a busy event and can't dive deep into their fascinating travel story. Or perhaps you're both rushing to catch trains going opposite directions. This phrase honors both the conversation and the constraints of the situation.

Final thoughts

These phrases work because they all share common elements: genuine interest, respect for the other person's experience, and an invitation to connect more deeply.

But here's the crucial part. These aren't scripts to memorize and recite. They're tools to help you express authentic curiosity and warmth toward others. The magic happens when you truly mean what you say.

As someone who spent years working through people-pleasing tendencies developed from being a "gifted child," I know the difference between genuine connection and performed niceness. People can feel the difference too.

Start with just one or two phrases that feel natural to you. Practice them in low-stakes situations like ordering coffee or chatting with someone at the gym. As they become more comfortable, add others to your repertoire.

Remember, the goal isn't to impress people or manipulate them into liking you. It's to create genuine moments of connection that make both of you feel a little more seen in this busy world.

The next time you meet someone new, try one of these phrases. Watch their face light up. Feel the conversation flow more easily. And enjoy the simple pleasure of making someone's day a little brighter just by how you chose to engage with them.