6 phrases people use in the first week of January that guarantee they'll quit by January 19th—if you've said any of these today, read this immediately

You know what I did this morning? I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, fresh coffee in hand, and declared to my reflection: "New year, new me!"

Then I caught myself and literally laughed out loud. Because ten years ago, I said those exact same words. And the year before that. And the year before that. Each time, I was genuinely convinced that this would be the year everything changed. Spoiler alert: by January 19th, I was usually back to my old habits, feeling defeated and wondering why I couldn't stick to anything.

If you're reading this in the first week of January, chances are you've already made some big proclamations about 2024. Maybe you've even posted about them on social media or announced them to friends and family. But here's what I've learned after years of watching myself and others crash and burn before the month is even over: the words we use in these early January days often predict exactly how quickly we'll give up.

I've identified six specific phrases that practically guarantee failure. If you've said any of these recently, don't panic. There's still time to course-correct. But you need to understand why these seemingly innocent statements are setting you up to fail.

1. "I'm going to completely transform my life"

This phrase makes my heart sink every time I hear it. Why? Because transformation doesn't happen overnight, despite what those dramatic before-and-after photos on Instagram suggest.

I spent years believing that I needed to overhaul everything at once. New diet, new workout routine, new morning ritual, new everything. By day three, I'd be exhausted from trying to maintain seventeen different changes simultaneously. By day ten, I'd given up on all of them.

The truth is, sustainable change happens gradually. Our brains literally can't handle massive upheaval all at once. When we try to change everything, we change nothing. Research shows that people who focus on one small habit at a time have an 80% success rate. Those who try to change multiple behaviors? Their success rate drops to less than 20%.

Instead of declaring total transformation, pick one thing. Just one. Master it for 30 days before adding anything else. Your future self will thank you.

2. "I'm never eating carbs/sugar/junk food again"

Oh, the absolutism of January! We love our never and always statements, don't we?

Here's what happens when you declare something completely off-limits: your brain becomes obsessed with it. It's like telling someone not to think about a pink elephant. What are they thinking about now? Exactly.

I once declared I'd never eat processed sugar again. By January 15th, I found myself hiding in my car, eating an entire sleeve of cookies like some kind of sugar criminal. The shame spiral that followed was worse than if I'd just allowed myself a cookie occasionally in the first place.

Extreme restrictions create a psychological reactance. We rebel against our own rules because humans don't respond well to deprivation. Instead of "never," try "most of the time" or "I'm choosing to eat less." Give yourself room to be human.

3. "This time it's different"

When I hear this phrase, I want to gently ask: "But what exactly have you changed about your approach?"

Usually, the answer is nothing. We're doing the same things we did last year, but somehow expecting different results because the calendar changed. That's magical thinking, not strategic planning.

If you want different results, you need a different strategy. What specifically went wrong last time? What obstacles tripped you up? What support systems were missing? Unless you can answer these questions, you're just hoping for a miracle.

I used to repeat this phrase every January while doing the exact same things that failed the previous year. It wasn't until I actually analyzed my patterns and changed my approach that things started sticking.

4. "I don't need anyone's help"

Pride comes before a fall, especially in January.

For years, I believed that needing support was a sign of weakness. I thought strong people figured everything out alone. This belief came from my childhood, where I learned that asking for help meant disappointing my parents or not living up to my "gifted child" label.

But here's what I've discovered: the people who succeed at their goals almost always have support systems. Whether it's an accountability partner, a coach, a therapist, or just a friend who checks in, having someone else involved dramatically increases your chances of success.

Humans are social creatures. We're wired for connection and community. Trying to white-knuckle your way through change alone is like trying to push a car uphill by yourself when there are people willing to help you push. It's not noble; it's unnecessarily difficult.

5. "I'll start on Monday"

It's Wednesday, January 3rd. You've already messed up your perfect plan. So naturally, you'll start fresh on Monday, right?

This phrase is procrastination dressed up as planning. It's based on the false belief that there's a perfect time to start, and that perfect time is always in the future.

I used to be the queen of Monday starts. Then Monday would come, something would go wrong by Tuesday, and I'd be planning to start again the following Monday. I once calculated that I'd "started on Monday" forty-three times in a single year. That's a lot of wasted Tuesdays through Sundays.

The perfect time to start is now. Not tomorrow, not Monday, not after your birthday party this weekend. Now. Even if "now" means starting imperfectly. Progress beats perfection every single time.

6. "I'm going to push through no matter what"

This might sound like determination, but it's actually a recipe for burnout.

Remember my old belief that rest was laziness and productivity was virtue? That mindset led me to push through exhaustion, illness, and clear signs from my body that I needed to slow down. Guess what happened? I crashed hard, usually around January 19th, and then felt like a failure for not being strong enough.

Real success requires flexibility, not rigidity. Life happens. You'll get sick. Family emergencies occur. Some days you'll be too tired. The people who succeed long-term aren't the ones who never miss a day; they're the ones who know how to adjust without abandoning ship entirely.

"Pushing through no matter what" ignores the reality of being human. It sets up an all-or-nothing mentality where any deviation from the plan means failure. Instead, build rest and recovery into your plan from the start. Create contingency plans for tough days. Success isn't about being perfect; it's about being persistent while also being kind to yourself.

Final thoughts

If you've said any of these phrases recently, you're not doomed. Awareness is the first step to changing the pattern. The fact that you're reading this means you're already ahead of most people who won't recognize these warning signs until they're wondering what went wrong on January 20th.

Here's my challenge to you: look at your current goals and plans. Which of these phrases are lurking in your thinking? Where are you setting yourself up for the same January 19th crash?

Then make one small adjustment. Not ten adjustments. Not a complete overhaul. Just one small change to your approach. Maybe it's asking for help. Maybe it's starting today instead of Monday. Maybe it's replacing "never" with "less often."

Remember, the goal isn't to be perfect by January 31st. The goal is to still be moving forward by December 31st. And that requires a completely different approach than most of us take in these energetic early days of January.

You've got this. But more importantly, you don't have to got this alone, perfectly, or immediately. You just need to approach it differently than you have before.