7 so-called classy habits that actually scream insecurity about your upbringing

I once watched someone correct a waiter's pronunciation of "bruschetta" at Olive Garden. The secondhand embarrassment nearly killed me. Later I realized I do the same thing differently—I name-drop my college when nobody asked, say "when I was abroad" about a Toronto trip, and own wine glasses I've never used.

The hard truth? Everyone can see you trying. These "classy" habits we adopt aren't fooling anyone. They're just announcing we're not comfortable with where we came from.

1. Correcting everyone's grammar constantly

You interrupt conversations to fix split infinitives. You physically wince when someone says "me and him." You explain the Oxford comma at parties to people who were discussing something else entirely.

People who grew up with education as a given don't weaponize it. They're focused on what's being said, not how. The constant correcting isn't about standards—it's about proving you know the rules.

2. Announcing what you don't do

"I don't even own a TV." "I've never eaten fast food." "I cannot understand why people watch reality shows." You list these absences like accomplishments.

Actual wealthy people cheerfully admit to terrible taste. They'll tell you about their McDonald's habit or reality TV addiction without flinching. The loud rejection of "low" culture usually means you're not far from it. Distance requires declaration only when it's recently achieved.

3. Making every preference a performance

Your coffee order involves three adjectives and a story. You can't just drink wine—you explain tannins to the table. Choosing salt becomes a monologue about mineral content.

When everything you consume needs narration, you're not enjoying things—you're auditioning. People comfortable with their status order what they want and move on. The performance reveals the performer.

4. Using travel as your entire personality

Every conversation somehow leads to "when I was in Prague." Your Instagram looks like a Lonely Planet catalog. You mention "this little café in Barcelona" about a Starbucks you visited once.

Travel often becomes a class signal for those without inherited status. But constant geographic references don't make you worldly—they make you sound like you're keeping score.

5. Curating your bookshelf for visitors

Classic literature faces outward. Philosophy you've never opened sits at eye level. Beach reads hide behind serious books like guilty secrets.

I did this for years—displaying books that impressed rather than ones I read. But a bookshelf staged for other people's opinions isn't a library. It's just expensive wallpaper with words.

6. Talking about seasons as activities

"We summer in Maine" when you visited once. "Wintering" somewhere means you spent Christmas there. You've turned basic calendar facts into verbs that need explaining.

Only people trying to sound rich talk this way. Actual rich people just say "we go to Maine in July." The harder you work to sound leisured, the more obvious it becomes you're not.

7. Apologizing for normal things

"Sorry, this wine is just from Trader Joe's." "I know this place isn't fancy." You cringe preemptively at your own choices, assuming judgment that usually isn't there.

The constant apologies reveal you think normal things are beneath you now. Or should be. But drawing attention to what you think are shortcomings just highlights that you see them as shortcomings.

Final thoughts

Here's what I've learned: people with actual class security do whatever they want. They eat gas station sushi, watch trash TV, use whatever words feel natural. They don't need to prove anything because they're not trying to convince anyone—including themselves.

I still catch myself performing sometimes. But real sophistication might just be being comfortable with where you came from. Even if that's Olive Garden.