People who genuinely enjoy life usually quit doing these 8 things that most people think are necessary to feel content

Have you ever noticed how the people who seem most content are often doing the exact opposite of what we're told brings happiness?

I spent years following the conventional playbook. Work harder, achieve more, stay busy, network relentlessly. Yet despite checking all these boxes, I felt like I was running on a treadmill that kept speeding up while genuine joy stayed just out of reach.

Everything changed when I started paying attention to those rare individuals who genuinely radiate contentment. You know the type. They move through life with an ease that seems almost unfair. Their secret? They've quietly quit doing the very things most of us believe are essential for happiness.

After years of observation and my own trial and error, here are the eight things truly content people have stopped doing.

1) Constantly proving themselves

Back when I was working in that warehouse, spending breaks reading Buddhism texts on my phone, I watched my coworkers constantly jockey for position. Who worked the hardest? Who got the most praise from management? Who could tell the best story about their weekend?

Meanwhile, the happiest guy there? He just did his work and went home. No fanfare. No need for validation.

Content people have discovered something profound: the exhausting game of proving your worth never ends. There's always another achievement to chase, another person to impress, another milestone that will finally make you feel "enough."

When you stop needing external validation, something magical happens. You start making choices based on what actually brings you joy rather than what looks impressive on paper.

2) Maintaining a perfect image

I recently read Rudá Iandê's new book "Laughing in the Face of Chaos", and one quote stopped me cold: "When we let go of the need to be perfect, we free ourselves to live fully—embracing the mess, complexity, and richness of a life that's delightfully real."

This insight hit home because perfectionism used to be my prison. Every interaction had to be flawless. Every project needed to exceed expectations. Every photo posted online required careful curation.

You know what genuinely happy people do instead? They show up as themselves, flaws and all. They laugh at their mistakes. They admit when they don't know something. They post the photo where their smile is genuine, not the one where their hair looks perfect.

The energy you save by not maintaining a facade? That's energy you can invest in actually living.

3) Saying yes to everything

Here's a truth that took me way too long to learn: saying yes to everything means saying no to your own wellbeing.

For years, I believed that being helpful, accommodating, and always available made me a good person. Weekend work calls? Sure. Help someone move during my only free afternoon? Of course. Attend that networking event I'm dreading? Can't miss it.

But watch someone who's genuinely content. They guard their time like it's their most precious resource (because it is). They say no kindly but firmly. They understand that every yes to someone else's agenda is potentially a no to their own peace of mind.

The fear of missing out becomes irrelevant when you're confident in what you're choosing instead.

4) Avoiding difficult emotions

Most of us spend enormous energy trying to stay positive, pushing down anger, fear, or sadness like they're toxic waste that needs containment.

Content people? They've learned to sit with discomfort. They let themselves feel disappointed when things don't work out. They acknowledge their anxiety without immediately reaching for their phone as a distraction.

Why? Because avoiding emotions doesn't make them disappear. It just ensures they'll ambush you later, usually at the worst possible moment.

When you stop treating emotions as enemies to defeat, they become what they actually are: temporary visitors bringing important information about what matters to you.

5) Living by other people's timelines

Society has this neat little timeline mapped out for us. Graduate by 22. Career established by 30. Marriage, house, kids, all on schedule.

I remember hitting my mid-twenties feeling completely lost because I wasn't where I "should" be. That pressure eventually pushed me to make one of my best decisions, leaving Australia for Southeast Asia, but not before years of unnecessary suffering.

People who genuinely enjoy life have opted out of this comparison game. They're getting married at 45 or starting their dream career at 60. They're taking gap years in their thirties or having kids in their twenties despite everyone saying they should wait.

Your life isn't a race against anyone else's timeline. It's not even a race.

6) Accumulating without purpose

We live in a culture that whispers constantly: more is better. More clothes, more gadgets, more experiences to post about, more achievements to list.

But here's what I've noticed about content people. Their homes aren't cluttered with things they bought to fill a void. Their schedules aren't packed with activities designed to avoid stillness. In my book "Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego", I explore how Buddhist principles of non-attachment can radically transform our relationship with possessions and achievements.

They buy things they actually use. They commit to activities that genuinely energize them. They've discovered that having fewer things you truly love beats having countless things that just take up space.

7) Postponing joy until conditions are perfect

"I'll be happy when I lose ten pounds."

"I'll relax after this project ends."

"I'll start living once I have more money saved."

Sound familiar? Most of us have a mental list of conditions that need to be met before we give ourselves permission to be content.

People who actually enjoy life have realized this is a trap. There will always be another condition, another goal, another "after this" keeping happiness just out of reach.

They take the trip with the money they have now. They dance in their living room despite the messy kitchen. They celebrate small wins instead of waiting for the big one.

8) Controlling outcomes

This might be the hardest one to let go of, especially if you're a natural planner like me.

We create elaborate strategies to ensure specific results. We try to control how others perceive us, how situations unfold, how our efforts translate into outcomes. We believe that with enough effort and planning, we can guarantee success and avoid disappointment.

But genuinely content people have made peace with uncertainty. They put in effort without being attached to specific results. They plant seeds without demanding to know exactly what will grow.

This doesn't mean being passive or careless. It means recognizing that life is inherently unpredictable, and fighting that reality only creates suffering.

Final words

Looking at this list, you might notice something interesting. None of these things we quit are inherently bad. Working hard, being helpful, setting goals, these can all be positive forces in our lives.

The problem comes when we believe they're mandatory for happiness. When we think we can't be content until we've achieved enough, helped enough, or controlled enough.

The people who genuinely enjoy life haven't found some secret formula the rest of us missed. They've simply stopped doing things out of obligation, fear, or the belief that happiness is something to be earned rather than chosen.

Start small. Pick one thing from this list that resonates with you and experiment with letting it go for a week. You might be surprised at how much lighter life feels when you stop carrying burdens you never needed to pick up in the first place.