Maya Angelou said we must nurture the joy in our life so that it reaches full bloom. Here's how to stop neglecting yours

When was the last time you felt pure, unadulterated joy? I mean the kind that bubbles up from somewhere deep inside, making you want to laugh or dance or just sit there grinning like a fool?

I'll be honest with you. A few months ago, I couldn't remember. I was going through the motions, checking off tasks, meeting deadlines, but joy? That felt like something from another lifetime. Maybe you know the feeling. Life gets busy, responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, joy becomes this luxury you'll get to "someday."

Then I stumbled across Maya Angelou's words about nurturing joy so it reaches full bloom, and something clicked. Joy isn't supposed to be an afterthought. It's not something we earn after we've done everything else. It's something we cultivate, tend to, and protect, just like a garden.

So how do we stop neglecting this essential part of ourselves? How do we make room for joy when life feels overwhelming? Let me share what I've learned on this journey back to joy.

1) Stop waiting for the "right" conditions

Here's what I used to tell myself: I'll be joyful when I get that promotion. When I lose those ten pounds. When I finally have time to relax. Sound familiar?

The truth is, there's never a perfect moment for joy. Life is messy, complicated, and unpredictable. If we wait for everything to align perfectly, we'll be waiting forever.

I learned this the hard way when I discovered journaling at 36. I'd been putting it off for years, thinking I needed the perfect notebook, the perfect pen, the perfect quiet morning routine. Then one day, I just grabbed a random notebook from my desk drawer and started writing. That was 47 notebooks ago.

The conditions weren't perfect. They never are. But that imperfect start opened up a world of reflection and self-discovery I'd been denying myself for years.

Joy works the same way. It doesn't need perfect conditions. It just needs permission to exist.

2) Let go of the need to earn your happiness

I recently read Rudá Iandê's "Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life", and one insight hit me like a thunderbolt. He writes, "Their happiness is their responsibility, not yours."

This made me realize how much energy I was spending trying to make sure everyone else was happy before allowing myself any joy. It was exhausting. I'd volunteer for everything, say yes to every request, and put my own needs last, thinking this somehow made me more deserving of happiness.

But here's what Rudá's book inspired me to understand: joy isn't something you earn through suffering or self-sacrifice. You don't need to check off a list of good deeds before you're allowed to feel happy. Your joy is your responsibility, just as others' happiness is theirs.

3) Make peace with imperfection

Perfectionism was my constant companion for years, and let me tell you, it made me absolutely miserable. Every moment of potential joy was tainted by thoughts of how things could be better, what I should be doing differently, or how I was falling short.

Then I learned about the concept of "good enough," and it changed everything. My garden doesn't have to be magazine-worthy for me to enjoy getting my hands dirty. My trail runs don't have to beat any records for me to feel alive on the mountain paths. My volunteer shifts at the farmers' market don't have to be flawlessly executed to bring me satisfaction.

Joy lives in the imperfect moments. In the slightly burnt cookies you share with a friend. In the off-key singing in your car. In the messy, real, beautifully flawed life you're actually living, not the perfect one you're waiting to achieve.

4) Create rituals that anchor you in gratitude

I was skeptical about gratitude journals. Really skeptical. It felt forced, cheesy even. But I decided to try it anyway, spending just five minutes each evening writing down three things I was grateful for.

The first week felt awkward. The second week, I started noticing more moments worth recording throughout my day. By the third week, something had shifted. I wasn't just looking for things to be grateful for; I was actually seeing my life differently.

This simple evening ritual has become grounding for me. On tough days, it reminds me that even in difficulty, there are glimmers of light. On good days, it helps me really savor the joy instead of rushing past it to the next task.

You don't need a fancy journal or a complex system. Just a moment each day to acknowledge what's good in your life.

5) Feed your creative soul

Every week, I take what I call an "artist date." It's time set aside to explore something new, something that feeds my creativity. Sometimes it's visiting a gallery, trying a new recipe, or walking through a part of town I've never explored.

These dates aren't about producing anything or achieving a goal. They're about play, curiosity, and wonder. They're about remembering that life isn't just about checking boxes and meeting obligations.

When we starve our creative souls, joy withers. But when we feed them, even in small ways, joy finds room to bloom. What would feed your creative soul? What have you been curious about but never made time to explore?

6) Embrace discomfort instead of running from it

This might seem counterintuitive in an article about joy, but hear me out. I used to immediately problem-solve any discomfort away. Feeling anxious? Make a list. Feeling sad? Find a distraction. Feeling uncertain? Research until I had all the answers.

But I've learned to sit with discomfort instead of immediately trying to fix it. Why? Because constantly running from difficult emotions also means running from joy. They're all part of the same emotional spectrum, and when we numb one, we numb them all.

Now, when discomfort arises, I try to be curious about it. What is this feeling telling me? What does it need? Often, just acknowledging it and giving it space allows it to move through, making room for other emotions, including joy, to surface.

Final thoughts

Maya Angelou was right. Joy needs nurturing to reach full bloom. It needs attention, care, and protection from the weeds of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and perpetual postponement.

The beautiful thing about joy is that it doesn't require massive life changes. It doesn't need you to quit your job, move to a tropical island, or achieve enlightenment. It just needs you to make space for it, right here, right now, in your perfectly imperfect life.

Start small. Pick one thing from this list that resonates with you. Maybe it's starting a simple gratitude practice or planning your first artist date. Maybe it's just giving yourself permission to feel joy before you've checked everything off your to-do list.

Remember, your joy matters. Not because of what it produces or who it serves, but simply because you deserve to feel it. Stop putting it on hold. Stop treating it like a luxury. Start nurturing it today, and watch how it begins to bloom in the most unexpected ways.

Your life is happening now, not someday. And joy? It's been waiting patiently for you to let it in.