Can you do these 7 things in public? Upper class people do them naturally—everyone else struggles

Most people think “upper class” is about money.

In public, it’s usually about comfort.

Comfort like being steady in your own skin when eyes are on you, when the room is loud, when the waiter is busy, when you don’t know anyone, when you’re not sure what fork to use, when you spill something, and when you’re being judged.

Here’s a little self-test: Can you do these seven things in public without getting weird in your head?

1) Hold eye contact

A lot of people confuse eye contact with dominance.

That’s not what this is.

The “upper class” version of eye contact is calm and unhurried.

It says, “I’m here. I see you. I’m not trying to win.”

Most of us either overdo it (staring contest) or underdo it (darting eyes, looking at our phone, looking past someone like they’re a lamp), but both read as anxious.

Here’s the trick I’ve stolen from years of talking to strangers at events: Soften your face first.

Then look at one eye, then the other, like you’re reading a subtitle.

Break contact naturally when it makes sense, not because you panic.

If you can stay present for just two extra seconds, you instantly feel more grounded and people feel it too.

Try it with the barista, the security guard, the person checking your ticket in a “you’re a person” way.

2) Speak to staff like they matter

Watch how someone treats the people who can’t “do” anything for them.

That’s the whole personality test right there.

In public spaces, a lot of folks either perform politeness (fake sweet voice) or act like staff are invisible.

Both are uncomfortable to witness.

The most confident people I’ve met are just normal.

They say please, thanks, and the person’s name if it’s on a tag.

They don’t over-apologize nor over-explain.

I’ve been traveling in places where the language barrier makes everything slightly awkward.

Weirdly, that’s where this skill shows up the most.

People with real social ease don’t get flustered.

They point, smile, keep it simple, and stay respectful.

They don’t make it a drama.

Want an instant upgrade? Use clean, direct sentences, such as “Could I get this, please?” or “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

3) Take up space

This one is not about being loud.

Plenty of us have a habit of folding ourselves up in public:

• Shoulders in.
• Arms crossed.
• Bag clutched tight.
• Tiny voice.
• Constant “sorry, sorry, sorry” as if existing is an inconvenience.

Upper class body language tends to do the opposite, but subtly.

They stand like they belong there, move at a normal pace, and don’t rush to prove they’re not in the way.

Here’s the part people miss: You can take up space while being considerate, stand tall without blocking the aisle, speak clearly without shouting, and sit comfortably without sprawling like you own the building.

If you want a practical cue, try this: Plant your feet when you’re standing.

Let your arms hang naturally, and breathe lower into your belly.

You’ll feel a little ridiculous for five seconds, then your nervous system gets the memo that you’re safe.

4) Stay calm when you don’t know something

Confidence is often just comfort with not knowing.

In public, people panic when they feel “out of place.”

They don’t know the etiquette, the menu terms, what to do with their hands, or know the inside jokes.

So, they fake it or they make self-deprecating jokes that are really anxiety in a trench coat.

The upper class move is simple: They ask, watch, or admit it with zero shame.

There’s a psychological reason this works: When you’re willing to look slightly uninformed for a moment, you avoid looking insecure for the whole night.

People trust the person who isn’t trying to be perfect.

Also, when you stop pretending, you get to actually learn.

5) Keep your voice steady

Have you noticed how stress changes your voice?

It goes higher and faster, with more explanation and filler words.

A steady voice is a power signal in public.

It’s pace more than volume.

Most people need to speak slower.

Here’s a weird hack that works for me when I’m nervous: I pretend I’m talking to someone through a microphone that’s already too sensitive.

So, I calm down and let the words land.

You can practice this anywhere:

• Order coffee with fewer words.
• Ask for directions without a long preface.
• Say “no thanks” without a speech.

If you’re worried you’ll sound cold, you won’t.

Warmth comes from tone and attention, not from rambling.

6) Eat and drink without performing

This is a big one on a food-focused site, because restaurants are basically social anxiety arenas with appetizers.

A lot of people act strange around food in public.

They over-comment, over-explain their order, apologize for choices, and act like a salad is a moral achievement and fries are a confession.

Meanwhile, the most socially relaxed people treat eating like eating.

They order without defending it and chew without rushing.

Moreover, they don’t fidget with the tableware like it’s a puzzle box nor treat the menu like a test they can fail.

As a vegan, I’ve had to learn this the hard way.

There were years where I’d over-explain—“I’m vegan but not in an annoying way, sorry, I can make it easy, I swear.”—and that energy makes everyone tense, including me.

Now I keep it simple: “Do you have something vegan you’d recommend?”

If not, I adjust.

The real flex in public is being comfortable with your choice.

7) Handle small mistakes like a normal person

This is the moment that separates “polished” from “panicked.”

You spill water, mispronounce a name, walk into the wrong room, drop your phone and it does that loud slap sound that turns heads, and forget where you parked.

Most people react in one of two extremes: They melt down internally and try to disappear, or they overcompensate with jokes and frantic energy.

Upper class people tend to do something boring and effective: They fix it.

They smile, say “oops,” clean it up, and move on.

These people don’t build a personality out of the embarrassment.

If you want to train this, start small: The next time you make a tiny public mistake, do a micro-reset.

Exhale, fix what you can, say one simple line (“My bad,” or “Thanks for your patience,”), and continue your day.

Your ability to recover smoothly is what people remember.

The bottom line

The point of this list is to build ease because ease is useful whether you’re at a fancy hotel, a messy airport, a job interview, or a first date where your brain forgets how hands work.

Pick one of the seven and practice it this week.

Public confidence is a set of tiny behaviors you can repeat until your body believes you belong anywhere you choose to be.