People who act friendly but secretly dislike you often display these 7 subtle signs

Not everyone who smiles at you has your best interests at heart. Some people wear friendliness like a mask, using charm or politeness to cover up how they really feel.

And while it’s not always obvious at first glance, the cracks eventually show.

If you’ve ever walked away from an interaction thinking, Something felt off, you’re probably picking up on these hidden cues.

Here are seven subtle signs that someone might be acting friendly while secretly disliking you.

1. Their smile doesn’t reach their eyes

A smile is supposed to signal warmth, but a forced one often gives the opposite impression.

You can usually tell by the eyes—when the smile is genuine, the corners crinkle, and the whole face softens. When it’s fake, the mouth moves but the rest of the face stays rigid.

If you’ve ever felt uneasy around someone who’s “being nice,” this could be why. Our brains are wired to notice micro-expressions, so even if you can’t explain it, you often sense when a smile feels staged.

It doesn’t mean the person is plotting against you, but it’s a hint that their friendliness isn’t rooted in real affection.

Trust that instinct—it’s usually your subconscious catching something real.

2. They give backhanded compliments

A backhanded compliment is one of the clearest giveaways. It’s the “You’re so brave for wearing that” or “Wow, you actually did a good job on this.” The words sound positive, but there’s a sting underneath.

These comments allow the person to appear friendly while slipping in subtle criticism. It’s like they can’t quite help themselves from letting their true feelings leak out.

If you leave an interaction feeling both praised and insulted at the same time, you’ve likely been on the receiving end of this tactic.

Over time, it wears down your confidence while letting them maintain a façade of politeness.

3. They rarely initiate contact

Someone who genuinely likes you will look for ways to stay connected. They’ll text first, invite you to events, or even just check in randomly.

But when someone is putting on friendliness without real affection, they usually won’t take that initiative.

You might notice that you’re always the one reaching out. They’ll respond politely when you do, but if you went quiet, the friendship—or whatever it is—would probably fade away.

This lack of effort speaks volumes. Friendliness doesn’t require obligation, but genuine fondness does show up in small, consistent ways.

If it feels like you’re doing all the heavy lifting, the connection may not be as mutual as you’d like.

4. They exclude you subtly

Being excluded doesn’t always look like a blatant snub. Sometimes it’s quieter: you find out about plans after the fact, you’re not in the group chat, or you notice “inside jokes” being exchanged around you that you were never a part of.

People who secretly dislike you often won’t risk confrontation, so they’ll use subtle exclusion to create distance.

It lets them keep up appearances of friendliness when you’re around, but their real feelings show when you’re not.

If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt like everyone else was in on something you weren’t, you know how isolating that can feel.

It’s a red flag that the friendliness might be more surface than sincere.

5. They mirror you with sarcasm, not sincerity

Mirroring is usually a sign of rapport—according to psychology, it happens naturally when people like each other.

But when someone doesn’t actually care for you, their version of mirroring can feel mocking. Maybe they repeat your words back in a sarcastic tone, or copy your gestures in a way that feels like a joke at your expense.

This kind of behavior can easily be brushed off as “just kidding,” but there’s often an undercurrent of dislike behind it. Instead of strengthening connection, it chips away at it.

If you notice that their jokes often come at your expense, pay attention. Friendly teasing should feel lighthearted, not like you’re being turned into the punchline.

6. They listen, but don’t engage

On the surface, this one can be tricky. They might let you talk, nod along, and even say the occasional “mhmm.” But when you finish, there’s no follow-up, no curiosity, no effort to keep the conversation going.

It feels more like they’re enduring your words rather than connecting with them. Over time, you start to notice that your stories are met with flat responses or quick subject changes.

I’ve been in conversations like this, where I left feeling oddly invisible—like I had spoken into thin air. When someone is truly interested, their energy shows it. When they’re only pretending, the silence afterward says it all.

7. Their support disappears when you succeed

One of the clearest tests of a person’s true feelings is how they react to your success.

Real friends light up when you win; fake-friendly ones go quiet, change the subject, or downplay what you achieved.

Sometimes the disapproval shows up subtly—a half-hearted “Congrats” or a quick pivot back to themselves.

Other times, they’ll dismiss your achievement as luck or coincidence.

I’ll never forget when I landed a freelance project I’d been chasing for months. Most of my friends were genuinely excited, but one “friend” just shrugged and said, “Well, they probably just needed someone cheap.”

I laughed it off in the moment, but that comment stuck with me. Instead of celebrating with me, she managed to turn the win into something that felt small. It was the first time I realized her friendliness had limits—and they stopped where her envy began.

If you notice that someone is absent or muted during your high points, it’s a strong signal that their friendliness doesn’t run very deep. True connection doesn’t compete—it celebrates.

Final thoughts

Not all friendliness is genuine, and that’s okay. Some people keep relationships surface-level because that’s all they’re capable of. The important thing is recognizing when the signals don’t match the smiles.

When someone’s words and actions leave you feeling excluded, dismissed, or unsupported, it’s not paranoia—it’s awareness.

You deserve connections that go beyond polite masks, where the warmth is real and the friendship is mutual.