If you want to be respected at work, stop doing these 7 things

Ever wonder why some colleagues seem to command respect effortlessly while others struggle to get their voices heard?

I spent years in corporate environments before switching to writing, and I've seen this pattern play out countless times. 

The difference isn't always about competence or experience—it's often about the subtle behaviors we don't even realize we're doing.

You might be unknowingly sabotaging your own professional reputation with habits that seem harmless but actually signal to others that you don't value yourself. 

And here's the thing: if you don't respect yourself, why would anyone else?

Let's talk about the seven workplace behaviors that might be holding you back from getting the respect you deserve.

1. Constantly undermining your own ideas

"I might be wrong, but..." "This is probably a terrible idea, but..." "I don't know if this makes sense, but..."

Sound familiar?

When you preface your contributions with disclaimers, you're essentially asking people not to take you seriously. 

I used to do this all the time in financial meetings—I'd present solid analysis but cushion it with so many qualifiers that my colleagues started questioning my confidence in my own work.

The thing is, when you speak with uncertainty, your body language follows suit, and people pick up on that energy.

Start presenting your ideas with conviction. If you've done the work, own it. Replace "I think maybe we should consider..." with "I recommend we..." 

It's a small shift that makes a big difference in how others perceive your expertise.

2. Taking on everyone else's work

Are you the person who always volunteers when extra tasks need doing? The one who stays late to fix other people's mistakes?

Here's what I learned the hard way: being helpful is great, but being a pushover isn't.

When you consistently take on work that isn't yours, you send a message that your time is less valuable than everyone else's. 

Colleagues start seeing you as the default person to dump unwanted tasks on, rather than someone whose expertise should be respected.

I remember a colleague who was brilliant at data analysis but spent most of her time doing administrative work because she couldn't say no. 

Despite her skills, she was passed over for promotions because leadership saw her as support staff, not strategic talent.

Set boundaries around your role and stick to them. Say something like, "I'd love to help, but I'm focused on the quarterly report right now. Maybe Sarah from admin could assist with that?"

3. Apologizing for everything

Sorry for speaking up in the meeting. Sorry for sending that email. Sorry for existing in the same space as your colleagues.

Stop it.

Chronic apologizing makes you seem unsure of your right to be there. When you apologize for normal workplace interactions, you're communicating that your presence is somehow an inconvenience.

As leadership expert Sheryl Sandberg has said, "We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in."

Save your apologies for when you've actually made a mistake. Otherwise, replace them with neutral statements or gratitude. 

Instead of "Sorry to bother you," try "Thanks for your time." Instead of "Sorry for the confusion," say "Let me clarify."

4. Gossiping about colleagues

Nothing kills professional respect faster than being known as the office gossip.

Sure, it might feel like bonding when you and a coworker complain about your boss over coffee. 

But that person is probably wondering what you say about them when they're not around. Trust erodes quickly when people can't count on your discretion.

In fact, it hurts your career in another way – research shows that having a reputation as a gossip harms perceptions of your competence. 

You could be a leading expert in your field, but people may still hesitate to trust your judgment or include you in high-stakes conversations if they think you can’t keep things confidential.

I've seen careers derailed by this. A talented project manager at my old company became known for sharing confidential information and personal drama. 

Eventually, she was excluded from important meetings and strategic discussions because leadership couldn't trust her with sensitive information.

Keep workplace conversations professional. If you need to vent about work stress, do it with friends outside the office, not with colleagues who might use that information against you later.

5. Hiding your accomplishments

When someone compliments your work, do you immediately deflect with "Oh, it was nothing" or "I just got lucky"?

This false modesty is killing your credibility.

I used to do this constantly—brush off praise, minimize my contributions, and redirect credit to others. I thought it made me seem humble and likeable. What it actually did was train people to undervalue my work.

Your colleagues aren't mind readers. If you don't highlight your achievements, they won't know about them. This doesn't mean being boastful—it means being factual about your contributions.

When someone praises your work, simply say "Thank you, I worked hard on that" or "I'm glad it was helpful." Share your wins in team meetings. Update your boss on your progress. Own your successes.

6. Avoiding difficult conversations

Are you the person who sends passive-aggressive emails instead of addressing issues directly? Do you complain to everyone except the person who can actually solve the problem?

Nothing says "don't take me seriously" like dodging uncomfortable but necessary discussions.

Maybe it's not addressing a colleague who keeps interrupting you in meetings. Or failing to speak up when someone takes credit for your work. Or not advocating for yourself during performance reviews.

When you avoid these conversations, you're essentially telling people that your voice doesn't matter. And unfortunately, they start agreeing with you.

I remember a colleague who never pushed back when deadlines became unreasonable or when she was excluded from important meetings. She thought she was being "easy to work with," but what she was really doing was training people to undervalue her contributions.

The solution isn't to become confrontational—it's to become comfortable with direct, professional communication. "I need to discuss something with you" is a perfectly reasonable way to start a difficult conversation.

7. Being invisible in meetings

You know the type: they sit quietly in the corner, never speaking up, never asking questions, never offering ideas. They're present in body but absent in spirit.

Here's the harsh truth: if you're not contributing to meetings, people start wondering why you're there. 

And if they're wondering why you're there, they're probably not thinking of you when opportunities arise.

Being invisible might feel safe, but it's career suicide. You can't build respect by being forgettable.

This doesn't mean you need to dominate every conversation. But you should aim to contribute something meaningful to each meeting you attend. 

Ask a thoughtful question. Share a relevant insight. Offer a different perspective.

Even something as simple as "I'd like to add to what Sarah just said..." can help establish your presence and voice in the room.

Final thoughts

Recognition and respect at work aren't just about doing good work—they're about how you show up, how you communicate, and how you value yourself.

The beautiful thing about these habits is that they're all within your control. You can start making changes today, in your next meeting, in your next conversation.

Don't expect overnight transformation. Building respect is like building muscle—it takes consistent effort over time. But every small change you make sends a signal about who you are and what you bring to the table.

Your colleagues are watching. Your boss is watching. Most importantly, you're watching yourself. What message do you want to send?