8 things your 60-year-old self will look back on and think 'why did I waste so much time on that?

Last week, I turned 42, and something about this particular birthday hit differently.

Maybe it was watching my dad recover from his recent health scare, or maybe it was just the natural reflection that comes with getting older. But I found myself thinking about what my 60-year-old self would say to me now. What would she wish I'd stopped wasting time on?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how many things we pour our energy into that just won't matter in the long run. Things that feel urgent and important today but will seem trivial when we look back.

So I made a list. And if you're anything like me, you might recognize yourself in some of these time-wasters too.

1. Trying to impress people who don't actually matter

Remember that person from high school whose opinion you still somehow care about? Or that colleague who you barely talk to but whose LinkedIn posts make you feel inadequate?

Yeah, those people.

I spent years curating my life to look good to an imaginary audience. Posting the perfect photos, sharing only the wins, crafting an image that would make everyone think I had it all figured out. When I was working as a financial analyst, I'd name-drop clients and talk about deals just to sound important at parties.

Here's what I know now: The people who truly matter in your life already see you for who you are. They don't need the performance. And the ones who do? They probably won't be around when you're 60 anyway.

2. Waiting for the "perfect" moment to start

How many dreams have you put on hold because the timing wasn't quite right?

I stayed in my analyst job for 14 years, telling myself I'd pursue writing "when I had more savings" or "when the market was better" or "after this next bonus." There was always one more milestone to hit before I could take the leap.

You know what finally pushed me to leave that six-figure salary at 37? Realizing that the perfect moment was never going to announce itself with fanfare and confetti. The stars were never going to align just right.

Your 60-year-old self won't care that you started before you felt ready. She'll just wish you'd started sooner.

3. Holding grudges over petty disagreements

That friend who forgot your birthday three years ago. The family member who made that insensitive comment at Thanksgiving. The ex-colleague who took credit for your idea.

I get it. These things sting. But carrying that resentment around is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

When you're 60, you won't even remember half the things you're mad about right now. But you might regret the relationships you let slip away over pride and stubbornness.

4. Obsessing over having a "perfect" body

I've spent countless hours scrutinizing every perceived flaw in the mirror. Skipped beach trips because I didn't feel "bikini ready." Avoided photos because of how I looked that day.

What a waste.

Your body is doing incredible things every single day. It's carrying you through life, letting you experience the world, giving you the ability to hug the people you love. And here we are, mad at it for not looking like an airbrushed magazine cover.

Your 60-year-old self will look back at photos from now and think, "I looked great! Why was I so hard on myself?" Trust me on this one.

5. Saying yes when you mean no

Every time you agree to that committee you don't want to join, that favor you don't have time for, or that social event that drains your energy, you're stealing time from things that actually matter to you.

I used to be the queen of yes. Birthday parties for kids of friends I barely knew? Sure! Help someone move on my only day off? Of course! Take on another project when I was already overwhelmed? Why not!

According to psychology, chronic people-pleasing often stems from a fear of being seen as selfish or unhelpful. But here's the thing: saying no to one thing means saying yes to something else. Usually something more aligned with your values.

Your future self will thank you for protecting your time like the precious resource it is.

6. Chasing perfection instead of embracing "good enough"

This one nearly broke me.

For years, I believed that anything less than perfect was failure. I'd spend hours tweaking presentations that were already great. I'd rewrite emails five times. I'd lie awake replaying conversations, thinking about what I should have said differently.

The pursuit of perfection is exhausting. And pointless. Because perfection doesn't exist, and even if it did, most people wouldn't notice the difference between perfect and pretty good.

Learning to embrace "good enough" changed my life. It freed up so much mental space and time for things that actually brought me joy.

Your 60-year-old self won't remember the perfect report you submitted. She'll remember the sunset you missed because you were still at the office, polishing something that was already done.

7. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel

Social media has turned comparison into an Olympic sport, hasn't it?

You scroll through feeds of people living their "best lives" while you're sitting there in yesterday's sweatpants, wondering where you went wrong. But you're comparing your raw footage to their edited final cut.

I've been guilty of this too. Seeing former colleagues' promotions while questioning my decision to leave finance. Watching friends' seemingly perfect families while navigating my own messy reality.

Comparison steals joy faster than anything else I know. Your journey is yours alone. Your 60-year-old self won't care how you measured up to others. She'll care about whether you stayed true to your own path.

8. Working yourself into the ground

When I was 23, I wore those 70-hour work weeks like a badge of honor. I thought exhaustion was evidence of dedication. Rest was for the weak. Sleep was for quitters.

What did all that grinding get me? Burnout, missed opportunities with loved ones, and a wake-up call when my dad's health scare made me realize I was sacrificing my life for a job that would replace me in a heartbeat.

Overwork doesn't even lead to better outcomes. After a certain point, productivity plummets and mistakes increase.

Your older self won't reminisce fondly about all those late nights at the office. She'll wonder why you thought proving yourself to a corporation was more important than living your actual life.

Final thoughts

Looking at this list, I realize how much of our time gets eaten up by fear. Fear of judgment, fear of missing out, fear of not being enough.

But here's what I've learned: Most of what we worry about never happens. Most of what we stress over doesn't matter. And most of what we think is urgent really isn't.

Your 60-year-old self has perspective you don't have yet. She knows that life is shorter than you think and longer than you fear. She knows that the things that matter are usually the simple ones. Time with people you love, work that feels meaningful, moments of genuine joy and connection.

So maybe we can start living like she would want us to. Maybe we can let go of the time-wasters now, before we look back with regret.

What would your future self tell you to stop wasting time on? I'd love to know what comes up for you. Because if there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that we all have more agency over our time than we think we do.

We just have to be brave enough to use it.