Science says confident people turn to these 7 subtle phrases when they want to earn instant respect

Ever wondered why some people seem to command respect effortlessly? Why do certain individuals walk into a room and instantly capture attention? What if the secret wasn't about being the loudest or most assertive person there?

Here's what I've discovered after years of observing human behavior: true confidence isn't about dominating conversations or proving you're the smartest person in the room. It's much more subtle than that.

The most genuinely confident people I know have mastered the art of strategic communication. They use specific phrases that instantly signal respect-worthiness without coming across as arrogant or pushy. And the best part? These aren't manipulative tactics—they're authentic expressions of emotional intelligence.

During my years analyzing workplace dynamics, I noticed patterns in how respected leaders communicated differently. They had a quiet confidence that drew people in rather than pushing them away.

Today, I want to share seven phrases that science shows confident people use to earn instant respect. These aren't magic words—they're tools that reflect a deeper understanding of human psychology and genuine self-assurance.

1. "I appreciate you taking the time to share that with me"

There's something magical that happens when someone feels truly heard, isn't there?

This phrase does something most people miss—it shifts the focus from you to them while simultaneously showing your confidence. You're not desperately trying to prove your worth or immediately jump in with your own story. Instead, you're demonstrating that you value what others bring to the table.

Dale Carnegie hit the nail on the head when he said, "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

I've watched this play out countless times in meetings. The person who acknowledges others' contributions first often becomes the one people turn to for leadership. It's counterintuitive, but showing genuine interest in others' perspectives actually elevates your own standing.

The key word here is "appreciate"—it's stronger than "thanks" and shows you recognize the value in what they've shared.

2. "I was wrong about that"

This one might surprise you.

Most people think admitting mistakes makes them look weak, but confident individuals understand the opposite is true. When you can own your errors without making excuses or deflecting blame, you demonstrate a level of self-assurance that's genuinely impressive.

I remember a colleague who completely misread a client's needs during a presentation. Instead of scrambling to justify her approach, she simply said, "I was wrong about that" and pivoted to address what the client actually wanted. The room's energy shifted immediately—from tension to respect.

Elizabeth Scott, PhD, emphasizes that "A sincere and effective apology is one that communicates genuine empathy, remorse, and regret as well as a promise to learn from your mistakes."

The beauty of this phrase is its simplicity and directness.

Insecure people tie their self-worth to being right all the time. Confident people know that admitting mistakes actually strengthens their credibility. It shows you're secure enough in yourself to acknowledge when you've gotten something wrong, and that's incredibly powerful.

3. "Tell me more about your experience with that"

This phrase is pure gold when it comes to building instant rapport and respect.

When you invite someone to share their expertise or perspective, you're doing two things simultaneously: showing genuine curiosity and positioning yourself as someone who values learning. It's the opposite of what insecure people do—which is constantly trying to prove how much they know.

I've found this particularly effective in professional settings. Instead of jumping in with my own analysis right away, I'll ask a team member about their experience with a similar situation.

Not only do I often learn something valuable, but they walk away feeling respected and heard.

The ancient wisdom still holds true.

As Epictetus noted, "We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak." 

This phrase works because it demonstrates emotional intelligence. You're showing that you understand everyone brings unique experiences to the table, and you're confident enough to learn from others rather than needing to be the expert on everything.

It's about creating space for others to shine while subtly establishing yourself as a thoughtful leader.

4. "I don't have all the answers, but here's what I'm thinking"

This phrase is a masterclass in authentic confidence.

There's something refreshing about someone who admits they don't know everything. In a world full of people pretending to have it all figured out, this kind of honesty stands out like a beacon. It shows you're secure enough to acknowledge your limitations while still contributing meaningfully to the conversation.

I've seen this work wonders in brainstorming sessions. When someone opens with this phrase, it immediately creates psychological safety for everyone else. People feel more comfortable sharing half-formed ideas or asking questions because you've set the tone that perfection isn't required.

The beauty lies in the balance—you're not claiming to be all-knowing, but you're also not shrinking away from offering your perspective. It's the sweet spot between arrogance and self-doubt.

Recently, I read Rudá Iandê's new book "Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life," and his insights about authenticity over perfection really resonated with me. The book inspired me to embrace being real and flawed rather than maintaining a perfect facade.

This phrase embodies that perfectly — it's confident humility in action.

5. "That's a perspective I hadn't considered"

Here's a phrase that instantly elevates both you and the person you're speaking with.

When someone shares an idea that challenges your thinking, this response shows remarkable emotional maturity. You're not getting defensive or dismissive—you're genuinely open to having your mind changed. That takes serious confidence.

I used to be the person who would immediately counter with reasons why someone's suggestion wouldn't work. Looking back, I realize I was more concerned with protecting my ego than finding the best solution. Now, when I use this phrase, I notice conversations become more collaborative and productive.

The magic happens in what you're not saying. You're not agreeing or disagreeing—you're simply acknowledging that their viewpoint has merit and deserves consideration. This creates space for real dialogue instead of two people just waiting for their turn to talk.

What I love about this phrase is that it shows intellectual humility. You're demonstrating that you're secure enough in your own thinking to genuinely consider alternative viewpoints. That's the kind of confidence that draws people toward you rather than pushing them away.

6. "I need to think about that before I respond"

In our instant-everything culture, this phrase is revolutionary.

Most people feel pressured to have immediate answers to every question or comment. But confident individuals understand that thoughtful responses are far more valuable than quick ones. When you say this, you're showing that you take the conversation seriously enough to give it proper consideration.

I started using this more after realizing how often I'd say something I later regretted just to fill the silence.

Now, when someone brings up something complex or emotionally charged, I give myself permission to pause. The respect I receive for this approach has been remarkable.

Brené Brown captures this beautifully: "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path." (366)

It takes vulnerability to admit you need time to process something properly. But that vulnerability is actually a sign of strength—you're prioritizing quality over speed.

7. "What would success look like to you?"

This phrase transforms you from someone who assumes to someone who truly understands.

Instead of jumping straight into problem-solving mode or making assumptions about what someone wants, you're taking the time to understand their perspective first. It's a subtle but powerful way to show respect while positioning yourself as someone who gets results.

I learned this the hard way during my analyst days. I'd dive into fixing problems without really understanding what the other person considered a win. Once I started asking this question, my relationships improved dramatically and my solutions became much more effective.

The beauty of this phrase is that it gives the other person agency. You're not imposing your definition of success on them—you're genuinely curious about theirs. This immediately elevates the conversation and shows that you're focused on outcomes that matter to them.

It also demonstrates strategic thinking. You understand that real success isn't just about completing tasks—it's about achieving meaningful results that align with what people actually value. That's the kind of insight that earns lasting respect.

Final thoughts

These seven phrases might seem simple, but they represent something much deeper—a fundamental shift in how you approach human interaction.

What strikes me most about confident communication is that it's not about having all the answers or being the most charismatic person in the room. It's about showing up authentically and creating space for real connection to happen.

I've noticed that when I use these phrases consistently, conversations become richer and more meaningful. People start seeking out my perspective not because I'm the loudest voice, but because I've demonstrated that I genuinely value what they bring to the table.

The science backs this up, but honestly, you don't need research to see the difference.

Try incorporating just one or two of these phrases into your conversations this week and watch what happens.

You'll likely find that respect isn't something you have to demand—it's something that emerges naturally when you communicate with genuine confidence.