You know you have a very strong personality when you do these 5 things in public without feeling self-conscious

Ever notice how some people just command attention when they walk into a room? They're not necessarily the loudest or flashiest—there's just something about their energy that draws you in.

I've been observing this phenomenon for years, both in my professional life and while people-watching in general. What I've realized is that people with genuinely strong personalities share some fascinating traits, especially when it comes to how they show up in public spaces.

Now, I'm not talking about being obnoxious or attention-seeking. That's often insecurity dressed up as confidence. What I mean is the quiet, unshakeable self-assurance that comes from truly knowing who you are.

These are my observations, and I'll be honest—they're pretty opinion-heavy. But I think you'll recognize at least a few of these behaviors in the strongest people you know. Maybe you'll even spot yourself in some of them.

Ready to see what sets people with rock-solid personalities apart from the crowd?

1. You speak your mind without apologizing for having an opinion

Here's something I've noticed: people with strong personalities don't preface their thoughts with "I might be wrong, but..." or "This is probably stupid, but..."

They simply share what they think.

I remember being in a coffee shop once, overhearing a woman at the next table confidently tell her friend, "I think that movie was overrated." No hedging, no softening the blow—just her honest take.

Her friend disagreed, and they had this amazing back-and-forth discussion without anyone getting defensive.

That's the thing about genuinely confident people—they understand that having opinions is part of being human. They're not trying to please everyone or avoid potential conflict. They know their thoughts have value, even if others don't share them.

It's refreshing, honestly. In a world where so many people are afraid to rock the boat, these folks just say what they mean.

2. You eat alone at restaurants without scrolling through your phone

This one might sound trivial, but hear me out—it's actually pretty telling.

Most people feel awkward dining alone in public. They'll pull out their phone immediately, scroll through social media, or pretend to be busy with work emails. Anything to avoid looking like they're just... there. Alone.

But people with strong personalities? They sit with themselves comfortably.

I started doing this a few years back when I was traveling for work. At first, I felt exposed—like everyone was staring and thinking, "Poor woman, eating by herself." But then I realized something: nobody actually cared. And more importantly, I was missing out on some pretty great experiences by being glued to my screen.

Now I genuinely enjoy solo meals. There's something powerful about being present with your thoughts, observing your surroundings, and simply existing without needing constant stimulation or validation.

3. You ask for what you need without excessive explanation

Watch someone with a truly strong personality at a restaurant or store. They don't launch into elaborate justifications when making requests.

They'll simply say, "Could I get the dressing on the side?" instead of, "I'm so sorry to be difficult, but I'm trying to eat healthier and I know this is probably annoying, but could you possibly put the dressing on the side if it's not too much trouble?"

I used to be the queen of over-explaining. When I worked as a financial analyst, I'd spend five minutes justifying why I needed to leave early for a doctor's appointment, as if I had to convince everyone I wasn't just being lazy.

Then I started noticing how the most respected people in our office handled similar situations. They'd simply say, "I need to leave at 3 PM today" and that was it. No drama, no guilt-laden explanations—just clear communication.

The difference? They understood that reasonable requests don't require apologies or elaborate backstories. Their needs were valid, period.

4. You disagree publicly without getting defensive or aggressive

Here's where things get interesting. People with strong personalities don't shy away from disagreement, but they also don't turn it into a battlefield.

I witnessed this perfectly at a community meeting last month. Two neighbors had completely opposite views about a proposed bike lane. Instead of the usual heated exchange, one woman simply said, "I see it differently" and explained her perspective calmly. When challenged, she didn't raise her voice or attack the other person's character—she just restated her position.

What struck me was how she owned her viewpoint without needing to demolish the other person's. No eye-rolling, no sarcastic comments, no desperate need to "win" the conversation.

This kind of behavior requires serious inner security. When you're confident in your beliefs, you don't need to prove how right you are by making others feel stupid. You can disagree respectfully because you're not threatened by different perspectives.

It's honestly one of the most attractive qualities I've observed. These people create space for real dialogue instead of just waiting for their turn to be right.

5. You take up space without apology

This one might be the most telling of all. These folks with strong personalities don't try to make themselves smaller to accommodate others' comfort levels.

They sit with their shoulders back. They don't squeeze into corners at parties or mumble when they speak. When they laugh, they actually laugh—none of that polite, muffled chuckling that says "sorry for having joy."

Now, I'm not talking about being obnoxious or dominating conversations. That's often insecurity masquerading as strength. I'm talking about the simple act of existing fully in whatever space you occupy.

These people understand something fundamental: they have just as much right to be there as anyone else. Their presence isn't an inconvenience or something to apologize for. It's just... them, showing up as they are.

Final thoughts 

Looking back at these behaviors, what strikes me most is how they all stem from the same core belief: you belong wherever you are.

I've been diving into Rudá Iandê's new book Laughing in the Face of Chaos lately, and one insight related to this really resonated with me. He writes, "When we stop resisting ourselves, we become whole. And in that wholeness, we discover a reservoir of strength, creativity, and resilience we never knew we had."

That's exactly what I see in people with genuinely strong personalities—they've stopped fighting themselves.

The beautiful thing about all of this? These aren't personality traits you're born with or without. They're skills you can develop. It starts with recognizing that your thoughts, needs, and presence have value. From there, it's just practice.

Some days you'll nail it. Other days you'll catch yourself apologizing for existing. That's completely normal—I still do it sometimes. The difference is in the awareness.

Next time you're out in public, pay attention to how you show up. Are you shrinking or expanding? Hiding or being seen? The answer might surprise you—and it's definitely worth exploring.