7 phrases highly self-centered people use in everyday conversation, without realizing how they come across

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who somehow makes everything about them?

You start telling a story, and before you know it, you’re listening to theirs. You try to share something meaningful, but they interrupt with their own version or advice you never asked for.

Most of these people aren’t being intentionally rude or arrogant. They simply lack awareness. Their words give them away.

Here are seven common phrases that highly self-centered people use, often without realizing how they make others feel.

1) “That reminds me of when I…”

We’ve all been there. You’re opening up about a tough week, maybe even sharing something emotional, and before you can finish, the other person jumps in with, “That reminds me of when I…”

Now, don’t get me wrong. Relating to others can build connection. But there’s a fine line between empathy and hijacking a conversation.

When someone constantly redirects attention back to themselves, it signals that they value their own experiences over yours. It may not be malicious, but it’s self-centered nonetheless.

I remember a friend doing this repeatedly during our coffee chats. I’d start talking about a family issue, and suddenly we were deep into her vacation plans. After a while, I stopped sharing as much, not because I didn’t care about her stories, but because I didn’t feel heard.

2) “I don’t see what the big deal is”

This phrase may sound harmless, but it’s often a quiet way of invalidating someone else’s feelings.

When someone says, “I don’t see what the big deal is,” they’re essentially saying, “Your emotions don’t make sense to me, so they must not be valid.”

This kind of response tends to come from people who are self-absorbed or uncomfortable dealing with emotions that aren’t their own. They struggle to empathize with experiences outside their perspective.

If you’ve ever had your feelings brushed off like this, you know how isolating it can be. And if you’ve ever caught yourself saying it (I know I have, once or twice), it’s worth asking: am I minimizing this because I don’t understand it, or because I don’t want to take the time to?

3) “You’re overreacting”

This one might sound similar to the last, but it carries a sharper edge. It’s a phrase that immediately shifts blame.

When someone says “you’re overreacting,” they’re usually not even trying to understand your perspective. They’re trying to end the conversation on their terms.

It’s a defense mechanism, one that allows the speaker to dodge accountability or discomfort. In many cases, it comes from people who believe their way of thinking or feeling is superior.

I once had a colleague who used this phrase almost every time someone disagreed with her. It shut down honest feedback and made others hesitant to speak up. Over time, people stopped challenging her ideas entirely, even when they should have.

4) “I’m just being honest”

This phrase often comes with a sting, doesn’t it?

When someone says, “I’m just being honest,” it’s usually after they’ve said something unnecessarily harsh. It’s an attempt to disguise criticism as virtue.

But honesty without empathy isn’t noble. It’s careless.

There’s a big difference between being honest and being kind. One aims to express truth with care; the other aims to express superiority with justification.

If someone's “honesty” consistently hurts people or shuts them down, it might be time to reflect on whether they're being truthful or simply thoughtless.

5) “You wouldn’t understand”

Few phrases shut down connection faster than this one.

“You wouldn’t understand” might sound like a throwaway comment, but it carries an undertone of arrogance. It assumes the listener isn’t intelligent, experienced, or emotionally capable enough to grasp the situation.

Self-centered people often use this phrase to maintain control or feel important. It places them on a pedestal, the all-knowing one whose experiences are too complex or special for others to relate to.

But here’s the irony. Truly wise or self-aware people want to help others understand. They’re not threatened by questions or differences in experience.

6) “I did it all by myself”

At first glance, this might sound like a declaration of independence or hard work. But in context, it often reveals something deeper, an inflated sense of self-importance.

We all take pride in our accomplishments, but no one truly achieves success alone. There are always people, mentors, friends, family, even strangers, who help us along the way.

When someone constantly emphasizes that they “did it all by themselves,” it often signals a need to be admired, rather than a genuine appreciation for their journey.

This kind of thinking can alienate others. Instead of inspiring respect, it creates distance. It tells people, “I don’t need anyone,” which ironically makes others less inclined to support them in the future.

True strength is about having the humility to acknowledge the help, inspiration, and support you’ve received along the way.

7) “I’m not like other people”

This one’s tricky because on the surface, it can sound like confidence. But often, it’s a subtle form of self-centeredness disguised as uniqueness.

Saying “I’m not like other people” is usually meant to set the speaker apart, but it can come across as dismissive or superior. It implies that others are ordinary while the speaker is exceptional, and that mindset rarely builds genuine connection.

I met someone once who said this all the time. Whether it was about work, relationships, or lifestyle choices, she’d always make it clear that she “wasn’t like everyone else.” After a while, I realized it wasn’t about individuality. It was about ego. She wanted to feel above others, not simply different.

There’s nothing wrong with being unique. We all are, in our own ways. But the most grounded people I’ve met don’t need to declare how different they are. Their actions speak for them.

Final thoughts

If a few of these phrases sound familiar, don’t panic. We’ve all said some of them at one point or another.

Awareness gives us the power to shift how we communicate, to become more present and empathetic in our conversations.

Next time you’re in a conversation, pause before jumping in with your own story or opinion. Ask a question. Listen fully.

You’ll be surprised how much more connected, respected, and fulfilled your interactions become when the focus moves from “me” to “we.”