9 ways boomers talk about money that makes younger generations feel like they’re failing

"You know, back in my day, we didn't waste money on fancy coffee. We made it at home and saved every penny."

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard some variation of this from older generations, I could probably afford that overpriced latte and the avocado toast to go with it.

But here's what really gets me: these comments aren't just about coffee or avocados. They're part of a larger pattern of how boomers talk about money that can leave younger folks feeling like complete failures, no matter how hard we're working or how much progress we're making.

After nearly two decades as a financial analyst, I've heard it all. I've sat through countless meetings where older executives wondered aloud why millennials couldn't just "work harder" to afford homes. I've watched my own parents express their love through relentless concern about my financial security, even when I was earning a six-figure salary.

The generational divide around money talk is real, and it's doing damage. So let's unpack the nine most common ways these conversations go wrong.

1) "Just save more and you'll be fine"

This one hits different when you're juggling student loans, sky-high rent, and wages that haven't kept pace with inflation.

During my years in finance, I watched the numbers closely. The reality? A person making median income in 1975 could afford a median home with about 3.5 years of salary. Today? That same ratio is closer to 8 years in many markets.

When boomers suggest that younger generations simply aren't saving enough, they're often working from a mental model where a summer job could pay for college tuition. Meanwhile, I spent until age 35 paying off my student loans, and I was one of the lucky ones with a good job.

The oversimplification of "just save more" ignores systemic changes that have fundamentally altered the financial landscape. It makes younger people feel lazy when they're actually navigating a much more complex economic reality.

2) "When I was your age, I already owned a house"

This comparison stings because it assumes equal playing fields across generations.

I remember sitting at a family dinner when my uncle proudly announced he'd bought his first house at 25 with just two years of savings. What he didn't mention? That house cost him twice his annual salary. The equivalent house today would cost someone eight to ten times their yearly income in the same neighborhood.

These statements create a false narrative that younger generations are failing at basic adulting, when in reality, the goalpost has been moved so far that the game isn't even recognizable anymore.

3) "You spend too much on experiences"

Ever notice how spending on travel or concerts gets criticized, but nobody questioned when boomers spent money on their hobbies?

Here's what I learned during the 2008 financial crisis: people who had only focused on accumulating assets watched their net worth evaporate overnight. Those who had invested in experiences and relationships had something that couldn't be taken away by market forces.

Younger generations watched their parents lose homes and retirement savings. Is it any wonder they might value experiences differently? When you've seen that material wealth can vanish, spending on memories starts to look like a rational financial decision, not frivolity.

4) "Stop buying lattes and you could afford a house"

The math on this one never adds up, yet it persists.

Let's be generous and say someone buys a $5 latte every single day. That's $1,825 per year. In most markets, that wouldn't even cover one month of a mortgage payment, let alone help with a down payment that could easily be $50,000 or more.

This fixation on small pleasures as the root of financial problems deflects from larger structural issues. It suggests that poverty is a moral failing of impulse control rather than a systemic problem. And it makes younger people feel guilty for any small joy they allow themselves while navigating financial stress.

5) "Back in my day, we didn't need two incomes"

This one particularly frustrates me because it ignores how dramatically the economic landscape has shifted.

When I started in finance, I analyzed decades of wage data. What I found was striking: productivity has increased by over 70% since 1979, but wages have only grown by about 12% when adjusted for inflation. Meanwhile, costs for housing, education, and healthcare have skyrocketed.

The "single income household" of the past was possible because of economic conditions that simply don't exist anymore. Acting like dual incomes are a choice rather than a necessity for most families creates shame around something that's become a basic survival strategy.

6) "You just need to work harder"

I left a six-figure salary at 37 to become a writer. Want to know what my boomer relatives said? That I was throwing away financial security. But when I was working 70-hour weeks in finance? They wondered why I couldn't maintain better work-life balance.

The "work harder" narrative assumes that effort directly correlates with financial success. It ignores that many millennials and Gen Z workers are already hustling with multiple gigs, side hustles, and longer hours than previous generations.

They're not failing to work hard; they're working in an economy where hard work yields diminishing returns.

7) "Why don't you just get a better job?"

As if people are actively choosing worse employment opportunities.

During my finance career, I reviewed thousands of employment trends. The gig economy isn't something people choose because they're lazy or uncommitted. For many, it's the only option in a landscape where companies have eliminated benefits, job security, and advancement opportunities that boomers took for granted.

Suggesting someone "just get a better job" minimizes the real barriers to employment and advancement that exist today. It implies that good jobs are plentiful and available to anyone willing to take them, which simply isn't true.

8) "Renting is just throwing money away"

This might have been true when houses cost three times annual salary and mortgage rates were stable. Today? The calculation is far more complex.

Between property taxes, maintenance, HOA fees, and the opportunity cost of a down payment, homeownership isn't always the financial win it once was. Plus, job mobility has become essential for career growth.

Staying in one place for 30 years isn't realistic when companies no longer offer the loyalty and pension plans they once did.

Yet younger renters constantly hear that they're making poor financial choices, adding insult to the injury of being priced out of homeownership.

9) "We managed just fine without help"

Did you though?

This selective memory forgets the robust social safety nets, union protections, and employer benefits that were standard for many boomers. It ignores the GI Bill, suburban housing subsidies, and the fact that many boomers inherited wealth from the previous generation's post-war boom.

When older generations claim they succeeded without help, they're often blind to the systemic advantages they enjoyed. This makes younger people feel weak for needing support in an economy that offers far fewer built-in advantages.

Final thoughts

These conversations matter because they shape how we see ourselves and our place in the world. When an entire generation grows up hearing that their financial struggles are personal failures rather than systemic challenges, it affects mental health, relationships, and life decisions.

If you're from an older generation reading this, consider that your financial advice might be based on an economy that no longer exists. And if you're younger and feeling like a failure? You're not. You're navigating a financial landscape that would challenge anyone, regardless of generation.

The path forward isn't about blame or shame. It's about recognizing that different generations face different challenges, and success might look different than it did 40 years ago. Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is simply acknowledge that reality.