If a woman wants to be happy in her 60s and beyond, say goodbye to these 7 types of low-quality friends

The friendships you keep shape the life you live. Choose wisely.

I watched my mother navigate her 60s with more clarity and peace than I'd ever seen in her earlier decades.

When I asked what changed, she said something that stuck with me: "I finally stopped keeping friendships that cost more than they gave."

She'd spent years maintaining relationships out of obligation, history, or guilt.

Friendships that drained her. Friends who complained constantly but never listened. People who only showed up when they needed something.

In her late 50s, she started letting those relationships fade.

Not dramatically, just quietly stepping back. 

The result was visible. She was lighter. Happier. More present. She had energy for the people and activities that mattered because she wasn't pouring it into relationships that gave nothing back.

That lesson has shaped how I think about friendship as I get older. Quality matters more than quantity. And as you move into your 60s and beyond, protecting your energy and peace becomes essential.

Here are seven types of low-quality friends to say goodbye to if you want to be happy in your later years.

1. The chronic complainer who never takes advice

Some people don't want solutions. They want an audience for their endless complaints.

These are the friends who call with the same problems repeatedly. You listen, you offer suggestions, you provide support. But nothing changes. They're not interested in improving their situation. They're interested in venting, over and over, to anyone who will listen.

This dynamic is exhausting. And as you get older, you have less patience for it. Your time and energy become more precious. Spending hours listening to someone rehash the same complaints with no intention of changing anything stops feeling like friendship and starts feeling like obligation.

My mother had a friend like this. Every phone call was an hour of complaints about her husband, her job, her health. My mother would listen, suggest solutions, offer to help. But nothing ever changed. Eventually, my mother realized these calls left her depleted, not connected.

She started limiting contact. Not cutting her off completely, just setting boundaries around how much complaining she'd absorb. The friendship faded naturally because it had only ever been one-sided.

2. The friend who only calls when they need something

True friendship is reciprocal. Both people give and receive, support and are supported.

But some friendships are transactional. These friends disappear when life is fine. But the moment they need something, they're calling. A favor. Advice. Emotional support. Money. Whatever crisis they're navigating requires your time and attention.

And when their crisis passes? They vanish again until the next time they need something.

This pattern becomes more obvious and more intolerable as you age. You start recognizing when someone treats you like a resource rather than a person. And you have less tolerance for relationships that only flow one direction.

These friendships need to end. Not necessarily with confrontation, just by no longer being available. When they only reach out to take, stop giving. See if they notice. Usually, they don't.

3. The competitive friend who can't celebrate your wins

Good friends celebrate your successes. They're genuinely happy when something good happens to you.

But some friends can't do that. When you share good news, they find ways to minimize it, redirect to their own accomplishments, or point out potential downsides. They compete instead of celebrate. Your win makes them feel threatened rather than happy.

This dynamic is toxic. It makes you hesitant to share good things because you know they won't respond with genuine joy. You start editing what you tell them, which creates distance and inauthenticity.

As you move into your 60s and beyond, you want friends who cheer for you. Who genuinely celebrate your life without needing to compare or compete. Friends who make it safe to be happy and successful without triggering jealousy or one-upmanship.

If a friendship makes you hide your joy, it's not a friendship worth keeping.

4. The drama generator who creates constant chaos

Some people live in perpetual crisis. Every week brings new drama. New conflicts. New emergencies that require everyone's immediate attention and involvement.

At first, you show up. You help. You listen. But over time, you realize the drama never stops. And much of it is self-created. They thrive on chaos and pull everyone around them into it.

These friendships are exhausting at any age. But in your 60s and beyond, they become unbearable. You've earned peace. You've earned stability. You don't need someone constantly disrupting that with manufactured crises and unnecessary drama.

My mother had a friend who always had some urgent situation. A fight with a neighbor. A dispute at work. A falling out with another friend. Every phone call was an emergency. My mother would drop everything to help, only to discover the next week there was a new crisis and the old one had resolved itself without her involvement.

Eventually, my mother stopped engaging. She realized this friend didn't want peace. She wanted chaos. And my mother wanted no part of it.

5. The friend stuck in the past who won't accept who you are now

People grow and change. The person you were at 30 is not who you are at 60. Good friends accept and support that evolution.

But some friends are stuck on who you used to be. They reference old versions of you. They resist your growth. They want you to stay the same because your changes make them uncomfortable or force them to confront their own lack of growth.

These friendships become suffocating. You can't be your current self around them. You have to perform an outdated version to maintain the relationship. That's not friendship. That's living history.

As you enter your 60s and beyond, you need friends who see and accept who you are now. Who support your continued growth. Who aren't threatened by the ways you've changed and evolved.

If someone can only relate to who you used to be, that relationship has run its course.

6. The judgmental friend who criticizes your choices

True friends might disagree with your decisions, but they respect your autonomy. They trust you to know what's right for your life.

Judgmental friends do the opposite. They criticize your choices. They question your decisions. They make you feel like you need to justify how you live your life. Nothing you do is quite right in their eyes.

This is particularly damaging as you age because you should be more confident in your choices, not less. You've lived long enough to know yourself. You've earned the right to make decisions without defending them to people who think they know better.

These friendships make you second-guess yourself. They create anxiety and doubt. They undermine your confidence in your own judgment.

You need friends who support your autonomy even when they wouldn't make the same choices. Who trust that you know your life better than they do. Who offer perspective when asked but don't impose judgment.

7. The energy vampire who leaves you depleted

Some people just drain you. Not necessarily through bad behavior, but through their presence and energy.

Every interaction leaves you tired. They take more than they give. Spending time with them feels like work rather than pleasure. You dread their calls. You avoid making plans. You feel relief when they cancel.

These friendships persist out of guilt or obligation. You feel like you should maintain them even though they make you miserable. But why? Life is too short, especially as you age, to spend time with people who deplete you.

In your 60s and beyond, energy is precious. You want to invest it in relationships that energize and nourish you. Friends who leave you feeling better, not worse. People whose company is restorative rather than draining.

If someone consistently depletes you, that's your signal to let the friendship go. Not with drama, just by gradually creating distance until it fades naturally.

The freedom of letting go

Ending friendships can feel scary. Especially long-term ones with shared history. You worry about being alone. You feel guilty. You question whether you're being too harsh.

But here's what my mother learned and what I'm learning as I get older: letting go of low-quality friendships makes room for high-quality ones. It creates space for relationships that actually nourish you.

You don't need dozens of friends. You need a few good ones. People who reciprocate care. Who celebrate you. Who accept you. Who don't drain or judge or create constant drama.

Those friendships exist. But you won't find them if all your energy is going to friendships that deplete you.

As you move into your 60s and beyond, your time becomes more precious. Your energy is finite. Your peace matters more than politeness. Protecting those resources by ending friendships that cost more than they give is an act of self-respect.

It's not cruel. It's necessary. And the women who do it consistently report being happier, more peaceful, and more fulfilled in their later years.

The friendships you keep shape the life you live. In your 60s and beyond, choose relationships that add to that life rather than drain it. Say goodbye to low-quality friendships without guilt.

You've earned the right to surround yourself only with people who truly value and support you. Don't waste your precious years on anything less.