She dreamed big—now you’re living it. Here are 10 signs you’re becoming the woman she hoped you’d be.
I think about her often—the younger version of me who scribbled in spiral notebooks and believed life would be big and kind if I showed up for it.
Would she be proud of the woman I am now?
It’s a grounding question, and a surprisingly practical one.
Because growth isn’t abstract.
It leaves footprints.
Here are ten signs you’re on that path—becoming a woman your younger self would point at and say, “That’s me. We did it.”
1. You make decisions anchored in your values, not the mood of the day
Do you pause before you say yes?
Do you ask, “Does this align with the kind of life I’m building?”
That pause is the muscle of integrity getting stronger.
When I worked as a financial analyst, I measured nearly everything—costs, timelines, risks.
What I didn’t measure was my alignment.
My days were productive, but not meaningful.
The shift came when I began letting my values lead: curiosity, contribution, and health.
Decisions got simpler.
Not always easier—but simpler.
When your yes and no are guided by values instead of pressure or people-pleasing, you’re steering your own ship.
2. Your habits quietly match your identity
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become,” writes James Clear.
I taped that line above my desk when I started writing full-time.
Tiny votes—morning pages, 20-minute runs, stretching while the coffee brews—created a different identity faster than any grand overhaul did.
Look at your week, not your wishes.
The woman you’re becoming is visible in your calendar and your kitchen sink, in what you repeat.
Do your daily votes support her?
3. You’ve traded perfection for progress
I used to wait for the perfect time: the perfect spring light to run, the perfect outline to write, the perfect plan to pitch.
Meanwhile, life was happening.
Progress people show up messy, iterate, and learn out loud.
As noted by psychologist Carol Dweck, believing you can improve changes how you approach challenge—you see “not yet” instead of “not capable.”
That mindset lets you ship drafts, ask for feedback, and try again.
It’s humble and it’s brave.
4. Your boundaries are clear—and kind
Do you say no without a 300-word explanation?
Do you leave group chats that drain you?
Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re doors with hinges.
They help your best energy reach the projects and people that deserve it.
I’m a chronic helper.
Volunteering at the farmers’ market taught me a softer version of boundaries: sign up for one shift, not four; leave when your shift ends; trust someone else will step in.
Kindness to others that includes kindness to you—that’s growth.
5. You choose long-term confidence over short-term approval
You don’t audition in rooms you don’t want to be in.
You don’t shrink to seem “easygoing.”
You stop performing competence and start building it.
I notice this on trail runs.
There’s a moment when the path splits: one route looks flatter and crowded, the other steeper and quiet.
The easier path comes with quick validation—you’ll look fast for half a mile.
The harder path is slower now, stronger later.
When you choose the second route in your career, relationships, and health, your younger self gives a standing ovation.
6. Your self-care is principled, not performative
Face masks are fine; foundations are better.
You sleep, hydrate, move, and talk kindly to yourself because you know you’re a human, not a machine.
You also know caring for yourself is not self-indulgence—it’s discipline and stewardship.
I was recently struck by a line in Rudá Iandê’s new book “Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life”.
He writes:
“When you stop resisting yourself, you become whole. And in that wholeness, you discover a reservoir of strength, creativity, and resilience you never knew you had.”
His insights reminded me that self-care isn’t just sleep and smoothies—it’s stopping the internal war.
The book inspired me to drop the perfectionist mask and listen more closely to what my emotions, energy, and body were trying to tell me.
If you’re looking for something that challenges, grounds, and gently stirs your soul awake, this book’s a powerful place to start.
7. You repair—then you refine
Evolving women apologize without dramatics.
You don’t offer the soggy “I’m sorry if you felt that way.”
You say, “You’re right. I missed it. I’m fixing it,” and then you do.
After the repair comes refinement: changing the calendar invite, documenting the new process, asking what would help next time.
At home this looks like circling back after a sharp tone and naming what happened.
At work it looks like updating the spreadsheet and the standard operating procedure, not just the Slack thread.
Repair builds trust; refinement keeps it.
8. You can hold both: ambition and ease
You stop forcing binary choices.
You can want a promotion and a slower morning routine.
You can build a business and read novels.
The trick is sequencing and seasonality.
In my garden, I learned there is a time to plant beets and a time to give the soil a breather.
The same is true for creative sprints and rest.
Big energy requires real recovery.
Ambition without ease burns out; ease without ambition stalls.
The woman you’re becoming can toggle both.
9. Your circles are nourishing—and reciprocal
Scan your messages.
Do you feel heavier or lighter after the people you talk to most?
Evolving means you curate rooms where you can be honest, celebrated, and challenged.
You don’t need everyone to “get it,” but you do need your people.
You also contribute.
You share resources, make introductions, and cheer loudly.
You remember birthdays and bad days.
Reciprocity is a quiet flex; it says, “I’m in this for the long game.”
Your younger self wanted friends like that—and to be a friend like that.
10. You choose purpose over drama
Another sign you’re becoming someone you’d admire: you edit out the friction that doesn’t feed your mission.
Less gossip, more getting after it.
Less doomscrolling, more making.
Fewer arguments with strangers, more walks in fresh air.
Here’s a question I use when I’m tempted by distraction: “Will this matter in a month?”
If not, I let it pass.
Not everything deserves your attention.
Protecting your focus is an act of respect—for yourself, for your craft, and for the future you’re actively building.
Bringing it all together
If you recognized yourself in even a few of these, that’s a big deal.
This isn’t about being a finished product; it’s about noticing you’re becoming a sturdier, kinder, more capable version of you.
And here’s a final question I love to ask myself on Sunday nights: What would make the 12-year-old me grin this week?
Sometimes the answer is bold—pitch the piece, book the class.
Sometimes it’s simple—buy plums at the market, call your best friend, watch the sunset without multitasking.
Either way, you’re casting votes.
You’re building a life your younger self would recognize as yours.
And she would be proud.
Very proud.
If You Were a Healing Herb, Which Would You Be?
Each herb holds a unique kind of magic — soothing, awakening, grounding, or clarifying.
This 9-question quiz reveals the healing plant that mirrors your energy right now and what it says about your natural rhythm.
✨ Instant results. Deeply insightful.
