The generation of people-pleasers: 7 things boomers always said yes to that younger generations are rejecting

Remember those family dinners where saying no to seconds was practically a crime?

Or that time your boss asked you to work through yet another weekend and you just... did it?

If you grew up watching your parents say yes to everything from overtime to hosting every holiday to lending money they couldn't afford to lose, you probably inherited some of those same people-pleasing tendencies. I know I did. Working 70-hour weeks as a junior analyst at 23, I thought burning myself out was just what responsible adults did.

But here's what I've noticed: younger generations are looking at these patterns and saying "absolutely not." They're rejecting the automatic yes that defined so much of boomer culture, and honestly? They might be onto something.

After years of watching burnout become the norm and boundaries become extinct, millennials and Gen Z are rewriting the rules. And while some might call them entitled or lazy (spoiler: they're not), I think they're actually reclaiming something vital that got lost along the way.

Let me walk you through seven things boomers rarely questioned that younger folks are firmly rejecting.

1. Working unpaid overtime as a badge of honor

When I started my finance career, staying late wasn't just expected; it was celebrated. The person who left at 5 PM was "not a team player." The one pulling all-nighters? Management material.

My boomer colleagues wore their exhaustion like medals. They'd compete over who got less sleep, who missed more family dinners, who sacrificed more weekends. And for what? The vague promise of a promotion that might come in five years?

Younger workers are calling BS on this whole charade. They're asking the uncomfortable questions: Why should I work for free? If the company needs 60 hours of work done, shouldn't they hire more people?

The shift is real. A recent survey showed that 87% of Gen Z workers value work-life balance over career advancement. They're not lazy; they're just refusing to equate their worth with hours logged.

And you know what? Companies are actually starting to listen. The ones that don't? They're watching their best talent walk right out the door.

2. Sacrificing health for productivity

Growing up, I watched my parents power through flu symptoms, back pain, and stress headaches without missing a day of work. Taking a sick day was seen as weakness. Mental health days? Those didn't even exist in their vocabulary.

I inherited this mindset completely. For years, I believed rest was laziness and productivity was virtue. Even when my body screamed for a break, I'd push through, thinking I was being strong.

Younger generations are rejecting this toxic relationship with health. They're normalizing therapy appointments, taking mental health days without guilt, and actually using their sick leave when they're, you know, sick.

They understand something that took me until my late thirties to grasp: you can't pour from an empty cup. Burnout isn't a badge of honor; it's a sign that something needs to change.

3. Accepting whatever salary is offered

Boomers rarely negotiated. They were grateful to have a job, any job, and asking for more money felt greedy or risky. The prevailing wisdom was to keep your head down, work hard, and wait for recognition to come naturally.

Spoiler alert: it rarely did.

Younger workers are completely flipping this script. They research market rates, negotiate offers, and aren't afraid to job-hop for better compensation. They share salary information openly (something that would have horrified previous generations) and call out pay inequity when they see it.

When I finally left my six-figure finance job at 37, part of me felt guilty for wanting more than just a good salary. But watching younger colleagues confidently advocate for themselves taught me something important: knowing your worth isn't arrogance. It's necessary.

4. Staying in toxic relationships to avoid conflict

Whether it was a marriage, friendship, or professional relationship, boomers often stayed put even when things turned toxic. Divorce was shameful. Cutting off family members was unthinkable. Leaving a job without another lined up? Financial suicide.

The message was clear: endure at all costs.

Younger generations are choosing differently. They're setting boundaries with toxic family members, leaving relationships that don't serve them, and walking away from jobs that damage their mental health. They understand that sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is leave.

This isn't about giving up at the first sign of trouble. It's about recognizing when a situation is genuinely harmful and having the courage to prioritize your wellbeing over maintaining the status quo.

5. Automatically deferring to authority

Question your boss? Challenge your parents' opinions? Disagree with your doctor? For many boomers, these were unthinkable acts of disrespect.

I remember being taught that adults always knew best, that questioning authority was rude, and that my job was to listen and comply. This gifted child mentality followed me well into adulthood, making it nearly impossible to advocate for myself.

Younger folks? They question everything. They fact-check their doctors, push back on unreasonable work demands, and aren't afraid to challenge outdated thinking, even from their elders.

Some call it disrespectful. I call it critical thinking. They're not rejecting authority for the sake of rebellion; they're insisting on understanding the "why" behind decisions that affect their lives.

6. Putting family expectations above personal dreams

The boomer generation often lived by an unspoken rule: family expectations trump personal desires. Whether it was taking over the family business, choosing a "respectable" career, or living close to home, individual dreams often took a backseat to family obligations.

When I told my parents I was leaving finance to write full-time, their disappointment was palpable. They couldn't understand why I'd walk away from security for something as uncertain as writing. For months, I carried their disapproval like a weight on my chest.

But younger generations are choosing differently. They're pursuing careers their parents don't understand, moving across the world for opportunities, and choosing paths that prioritize personal fulfillment over family approval.

They've learned what took me years to understand: you can love your family and still live your own life.

7. Hiding struggles to maintain appearances

Boomers mastered the art of the perfect facade. Financial troubles, marital problems, mental health struggles, all hidden behind closed doors and cheerful smiles. Admitting to problems meant admitting to failure.

Younger generations are done with this performance. They're open about their therapy sessions, honest about their financial struggles, and vulnerable about their relationships. They post about their failures alongside their successes.

This isn't oversharing or attention-seeking. It's recognizing that authenticity creates connection and that pretending everything is perfect helps no one.

Final thoughts

Looking at this list, I can't help but feel a mix of admiration and regret. Admiration for younger generations who learned these lessons faster than I did. Regret for all the years I spent saying yes when I wanted to say no.

But here's what I've learned: it's never too late to start setting boundaries. Whether you're 25 or 65, you can begin rejecting the toxic patterns that no longer serve you.

The boomer generation did the best they could with what they knew. Many of their survival strategies made sense in their context. But times have changed, and what once helped us survive might now be preventing us from truly living.

So maybe take a page from the younger generation's playbook. Question that automatic yes. Set that boundary. Choose yourself sometimes.

Because at the end of the day, people-pleasing isn't actually pleasing anyone, least of all yourself.