Psychology says people over 70 who still laugh at themselves tend to share these 10 unique traits

Have you ever noticed how some older folks just seem to have this magnetic quality about them?

Last week at the farmers' market, I watched a woman who must have been in her seventies accidentally knock over a display of tomatoes. Instead of getting flustered, she laughed heartily and said, "Well, I guess I'm making salsa for everyone today!" The vendor joined in her laughter, and soon half the market was helping her pick them up, smiling all the while.

That moment stuck with me because it perfectly captures something psychologists have been studying for years: the ability to laugh at ourselves, especially as we age, isn't just about having a good sense of humor. It's actually linked to a whole constellation of traits that make life richer and more meaningful.

After diving into the research and reflecting on the vibrant seniors I've encountered over the years, I've identified ten traits that people over 70 who still laugh at themselves tend to share. And here's the kicker: these aren't just personality quirks. They're learnable skills that can transform how we age and how we experience life at any stage.

1. They've mastered the art of perspective

When you've lived seven-plus decades, you've seen enough ups and downs to know that most "disasters" aren't really disasters at all. People who laugh at themselves have this incredible ability to zoom out and see the bigger picture.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Years ago, I was the queen of catastrophizing. Every mistake felt like the end of the world. But watching my father bounce back from his heart attack at 68 with humor intact taught me something profound. He'd joke about his "rebellious ticker" and how it just wanted a vacation. That perspective shift didn't minimize what happened, but it kept him from drowning in fear.

Research backs this up too. Studies show that older adults who maintain perspective are better at emotional regulation and report higher life satisfaction. They know that spilling coffee on your shirt before a meeting isn't a tragedy; it's just Tuesday.

2. They've let go of perfectionism

Here's something I wish I'd learned sooner: perfectionism is exhausting and, frankly, boring. The seniors who laugh at themselves have figured out what took me until my late thirties to understand. "Good enough" is often perfect.

These folks have stopped trying to control every outcome. They've realized that the wobbly cake they baked for their grandchild's birthday will be remembered more fondly than any store-bought perfection. They understand that their slightly off-key singing at karaoke night brings more joy than any polished performance could.

Psychologists call this "adaptive perfectionism," where you maintain high standards but accept that falling short isn't failure. It's freedom.

3. They embrace vulnerability as strength

You know what's brave? Admitting you forgot your own grandchild's name for a second. Or laughing about how you put your glasses in the fridge again. The ability to be vulnerable, to show your human side without shame, is a superpower these folks have mastered.

Brené Brown's research on vulnerability shows that people who embrace their imperfections build deeper connections. And isn't that exactly what we see with these delightful seniors? They're not trying to maintain some impossible facade. They're real, and that realness is magnetic.

4. They prioritize relationships over being right

This one hit me hard when I finally got it. For years, I had to win every argument, correct every mistake, have the last word. But watching these wise elders navigate disagreements with grace showed me something different.

They've learned what took me forever to understand: being right matters far less than being kind. They'll let their spouse think they came up with the idea for the vacation destination. They'll laugh when their friend tells the same story for the hundredth time, details slightly altered. They know that preserving the relationship is worth more than preserving their ego.

5. They've developed emotional resilience

Life has thrown them curveballs, fastballs, and probably a few knuckleballs too. But instead of becoming bitter, they've become resilient. They can laugh at mishaps because they know they've survived worse.

This isn't toxic positivity or pretending everything's fine. It's genuine resilience built through experiencing and processing life's challenges. They've learned that emotions are temporary visitors, not permanent residents.

6. They practice gratitude naturally

Ever notice how these folks can find something to appreciate in almost any situation? Stuck in traffic? "At least I have time to listen to my audiobook." Burnt the dinner? "Good excuse to order pizza."

Since I started journaling at 36, I've filled 47 notebooks with observations, and one pattern keeps emerging: the happiest people are grateful people. The seniors who laugh at themselves have this gratitude practice down to an art form. They're not forcing it; it's become their default setting.

7. They've stopped comparing themselves to others

Social comparison is the thief of joy, and these wise souls have caught the thief red-handed and shown them the door. They're not worried about keeping up with anyone because they're too busy enjoying their own journey.

They'll happily tell you about their "vintage" car that makes weird noises or their "retro" fashion choices. They've realized that comparison is a game nobody wins.

8. They maintain curiosity about life

The ability to laugh at yourself requires seeing life as an ongoing experiment rather than a test you can fail. These seniors approach new experiences with curiosity rather than judgment.

Can't figure out the new smartphone? "Well, this is an adventure!" Tried a yoga class and fell over? "At least I gave it a shot!" This curiosity keeps their minds flexible and their spirits young.

9. They've accepted uncertainty

Control is an illusion, and after 70 years, these folks have stopped chasing it. They plan, sure, but they hold those plans lightly. When things go sideways, they adapt with humor rather than frustration.

This acceptance of uncertainty is what psychologists link to lower anxiety and higher well-being in older adults. They've learned to dance with the unknown rather than fight it.

10. They understand the healing power of humor

Finally, they genuinely understand that laughter is medicine. Not in some greeting-card way, but in a deep, lived-experience way. They've seen humor help them through grief, illness, and disappointment.

Studies consistently show that laughter reduces stress hormones, boosts immune function, and increases social bonding. These seniors aren't just funny; they're using humor as a tool for survival and connection.

Final thoughts

A conversation with a stranger at a farmers' market years ago reminded me why community matters, but more importantly, it showed me how humor builds that community. The woman told me, "Honey, at my age, if I don't laugh at myself, I'd spend all day crying, and my mascara's too expensive for that."

She was joking, of course, but there's profound wisdom there. The ability to laugh at ourselves isn't just about having a sense of humor. It's about choosing lightness over heaviness, connection over isolation, and joy over judgment.

These ten traits aren't exclusive to people over 70. They're available to all of us, right now. We don't have to wait decades to start practicing perspective, releasing perfectionism, or embracing vulnerability. Every time we choose to laugh at our mistakes rather than berate ourselves, we're building these muscles.

The beautiful thing? It's never too late to start, and it's never too early either. Whether you're 27 or 77, the ability to laugh at yourself is a gift you can give yourself today. And trust me, future you will thank present you for starting now.