People who stay calm in situations that would send most people spiraling usually practiced these 7 mental habits for years without anyone noticing

Ever notice how some people just don't seem to crack under pressure?

Last week, I watched a colleague handle what would've been a complete disaster for most of us. Their biggest client was threatening to walk, the presentation tech failed mid-pitch, and their team lead had just quit. While everyone else was panicking, they calmly worked through each problem like they were solving a crossword puzzle over coffee.

It got me thinking about the people I've met over the years who share this almost supernatural ability to stay centered when everything's falling apart. They're not emotionless robots. They feel the stress like everyone else. But somehow, they've developed this internal shock absorber that keeps them steady when life gets chaotic.

The thing is, this kind of composure doesn't just happen overnight. After years of studying mindfulness and Eastern philosophy, I've realized these unshakeable people have been quietly practicing specific mental habits for years, often without anyone noticing.

Here are the seven habits I've observed in people who stay remarkably calm when others spiral.

1. They treat thoughts as weather passing through

Back in my twenties, my mind was like a non-stop news channel broadcasting worst-case scenarios 24/7. Every thought felt urgent, important, and absolutely true. If my brain said "you're going to fail," I believed it completely.

Then I discovered this Buddhist concept of observing thoughts without getting tangled up in them. Think of it like watching clouds drift across the sky. You see them, acknowledge them, but you don't try to grab them or push them away.

The calmest people I know have mastered this. When a stressful thought appears, they notice it without immediately reacting. "Oh, there's anxiety about the deadline." "There's anger about that email." They name it, watch it, and let it pass.

This isn't about suppressing emotions or pretending everything's fine. It's about creating a tiny gap between the thought and your response to it. That gap? That's where your power lives.

2. They've made friends with impermanence

One of the most powerful concepts I explored in my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego is the Buddhist principle of impermanence. Everything changes. Nothing lasts forever.

Sounds depressing? It's actually the opposite.

When you really understand that both good times and bad times are temporary, something shifts. That crushing deadline? Temporary. The angry client? Their mood will change. The overwhelming project? It will end.

I started applying this during my morning runs in the humid Saigon heat. Some days, the discomfort feels unbearable. But instead of fighting it or wishing it away, I remind myself: this sensation is temporary. This hill will end. This feeling will pass.

People who stay calm have internalized this truth. They don't waste energy fighting against difficult moments or desperately clinging to pleasant ones. They ride the waves knowing that the ocean is always changing.

3. They practice micro-meditations throughout the day

Forget the image of someone sitting cross-legged for hours. The calmest people I know rarely have time for that. Instead, they've woven tiny moments of mindfulness into their regular day.

Waiting for coffee to brew? Three deep breaths. Stuck at a red light? Quick body scan. Walking to a meeting? Feel your feet hitting the ground.

I do this myself now. Some mornings I meditate for 30 minutes, other days it's just 5. But the real practice happens in these micro-moments scattered throughout the day. Each one is like hitting a reset button on your nervous system.

These people aren't announcing their practice or making a big show of it. They're quietly, consistently returning to the present moment, building their calm one breath at a time.

4. They've learned to zoom out

Will this matter in five years? How about five months? Five weeks?

People who handle crisis well have trained themselves to shift perspective quickly. While everyone else is trapped in the intensity of the moment, they mentally step back and see the bigger picture.

A friend once told me about losing a major business deal that would've changed his company's trajectory. While his team spiraled, he asked himself: "In the grand story of my life, is this the ending or just a plot twist?" That question completely changed how he approached the situation.

This isn't about minimizing real problems. It's about right-sizing them. Most of what sends us into panic mode is actually pretty manageable when you zoom out far enough.

5. They respond instead of react

Here's the difference: reacting is instant, emotional, often regrettable. Responding is considered, intentional, and usually more effective.

The calm people have built in a pause button. Something happens, and before they do anything, they take a beat. Maybe they count to three. Maybe they take a breath. Maybe they ask themselves "What response would I be proud of later?"

This habit saved me countless times when anxiety ruled my life. Instead of immediately catastrophizing or snapping at someone, I learned to create that tiny space where choice lives.

You know that email that makes your blood boil? The calm person reads it, feels the anger, then goes for a walk before responding. That pause changes everything.

6. They focus on what they can control

This one comes straight from ancient Stoic philosophy, but it's a cornerstone habit of unshakeable people. As I discuss in Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, letting go of what you can't control is essential for inner peace.

Can't control your boss's mood? Stop trying. Can't control the economy? Let it go. Can't control whether people like you? Release that burden.

But you can control your effort, your attitude, your next action. The calm people put all their energy there and waste none on the rest.

During the chaos of moving countries, I learned this lesson hard. I couldn't control visa delays, shipping problems, or bureaucratic nightmares. But I could control how I prepared, how I communicated, and how I spent my energy. Focusing there kept me sane.

7. They've developed a practice of self-compassion

This might be the most overlooked habit. The people who stay calm when life gets crazy? They're not beating themselves up internally.

When they make a mistake, they talk to themselves like they'd talk to a good friend. When they fall short, they acknowledge it without adding a layer of harsh self-judgment. They've learned that being hard on yourself doesn't make you better; it just makes you brittle.

I spent years thinking that self-criticism was motivating. Turns out, it was just exhausting. The day I started treating myself with the same kindness I'd show a friend was the day my anxiety started losing its grip.

Final words

These habits aren't spectacular or Instagram-worthy. Nobody's going to notice you practicing them. That's kind of the point.

While everyone else is looking for the quick fix or the perfect morning routine, the truly calm people are quietly building their resilience one small habit at a time. They're not trying to eliminate stress or achieve some state of perpetual zen. They're just getting better at surfing the waves.

Start with one habit. Pick the one that resonates most and practice it for a week. Don't announce it. Don't make it complicated. Just quietly begin building your own internal shock absorber.

Because when life inevitably throws its next curveball, you'll want to be ready. Not perfect, not emotionless, just ready to handle whatever comes with a bit more grace than you did yesterday.