Master these subtle language shifts that separate naturally confident speakers from everyone else—and transform how people perceive you in every conversation starting today.
Ever notice how some people just sound more confident when they speak, even when they're not saying anything particularly profound?
I used to think confidence was all about what you said.
Big ideas, bold statements, that sort of thing. But after nearly two decades in the corporate world, watching colleagues present to boards and negotiate million-dollar deals, I realized something fascinating: the most confident speakers weren't necessarily the loudest or most assertive. They simply chose their words differently.
Think about it. When someone says "I might be wrong, but..." versus "From my perspective..." they're essentially saying the same thing, yet one sounds apologetic while the other sounds assured. These subtle shifts in language can completely change how others perceive you in conversations.
After transitioning from finance to writing, I've become even more aware of how word choices shape our presence. Whether you're in a boardroom, at a coffee shop, or on a first date, these nine subtle word swaps can instantly elevate your confidence level.
1. Replace "just" with nothing
How many times have you caught yourself saying "I just wanted to check in" or "I just think that maybe we could try something different"?
That little word "just" minimizes everything that follows it. When I was working as a financial analyst, I noticed I'd constantly pepper my emails and presentations with it. "I just ran the numbers" or "I just have a quick question." A mentor finally pointed out that I was undermining my own expertise with that single word.
Try this instead: Delete it entirely. "I wanted to check in" sounds direct and purposeful. "I think we could try something different" carries weight. You're not asking for permission to exist in the conversation anymore.
2. Say "I think" instead of "I feel like"
This one's tricky because we've been encouraged to share our feelings, which is great in personal relationships. But in professional or intellectual discussions, "I feel like" can make your opinions sound less credible.
"I feel like the data shows a different trend" versus "I think the data shows a different trend." See the difference? The first sounds uncertain, almost apologetic. The second positions you as someone who's analyzed the information and formed an opinion.
Save "I feel" for actual emotions. When you're sharing thoughts, ideas, or observations, own them with "I think" or even better, state them directly.
3. Use "and" instead of "but"
Here's something I learned in couples therapy that transformed my professional conversations too. The word "but" essentially erases everything that came before it. "Your presentation was great, but the conclusion needs work" really only communicates the criticism.
Switch to "and" and watch what happens. "Your presentation was great, and strengthening the conclusion would make it even better." Both pieces of information coexist without cancellation.
This simple swap makes you sound more collaborative and less confrontational. You're building on ideas rather than tearing them down.
4. Choose "I will" over "I'll try"
Yoda wasn't wrong when he said "Do or do not, there is no try."
When someone asks if you can complete a project or attend a meeting, "I'll try" sounds like you're already planning your excuse. "I will" or "I'll make it work" shows commitment. If you genuinely can't commit, be honest about that too. "I can't commit to that timeline" is more confident than "I'll try to get it done."
During my first two years of writing, when imposter syndrome hit hard, I'd tell editors "I'll try to have the article ready by Friday." Now? "I'll have it to you by Friday." The work gets done either way, but one approach positions me as reliable while the other suggests I might flake.
5. Replace questions with statements when appropriate
Have you noticed how often we turn statements into questions by raising our pitch at the end? "I think we should increase the budget?" Or we add unnecessary question tags: "This would work better, don't you think?"
Research psychologist Carol Dweck talks about how this uptalk pattern can make speakers seem less certain of their own ideas. When you have a point to make, make it. "We should increase the budget." Period. Let others ask questions if they need clarification.
6. Say "I don't know" instead of making excuses
This might seem counterintuitive. Wouldn't admitting you don't know something make you seem less confident?
Actually, the opposite is true. Confident people are comfortable with the limits of their knowledge. Instead of rambling through a half-baked answer or making excuses like "I haven't had time to look into that," a simple "I don't know, let me find out" shows integrity and self-assurance.
I watched colleagues fumble through non-answers for years, trying to save face. The ones who advanced fastest? They'd say "Good question, I don't have that data yet" and then actually follow up with the answer.
7. Use "when" instead of "if"
This subtle shift changes everything about how you frame future possibilities. "If I get the promotion" versus "When I get the promotion." "If we close this deal" versus "When we close this deal."
Obviously, use judgment here. You don't want to sound delusional about unlikely outcomes. But for realistic goals and plans, "when" demonstrates confidence in your ability to make things happen.
8. Replace "Does that make sense?" with "What questions do you have?"
After explaining something, many of us default to "Does that make sense?" which subtly suggests we might not have explained things clearly. It puts the burden of potential confusion on our communication skills.
"What questions do you have?" or "What would you like me to clarify?" assumes you've communicated effectively while still opening space for discussion. It positions you as the expert ready to dive deeper, not someone worried they've botched the explanation.
9. Choose active voice over passive voice
"The report was completed by me" versus "I completed the report." "Mistakes were made" versus "I made a mistake."
Active voice puts you in the driver's seat of your own narrative. You're the subject doing the action, not a bystander watching things happen. This applies to taking credit and taking responsibility equally. Both require confidence.
After being passed over for promotion twice despite outperforming colleagues, I learned to use active voice to claim my accomplishments. "I increased portfolio returns by 15%" hits differently than "Portfolio returns were increased by 15%."
Final thoughts
These word choices might seem small, but language shapes reality in powerful ways. Each time you choose confident language, you're not just appearing more assured to others. You're actually training your brain to think more confidently.
Start with one or two swaps that resonate most with you. Once they become natural, add another. Remember, confidence isn't about being perfect or knowing everything. It's about showing up authentically and owning your space in the conversation.
The beautiful thing about these changes? They work immediately. You don't need months of practice or special training. Your very next conversation can sound more confident simply by choosing your words intentionally.
What matters most is that you start. Not tomorrow, not next week. Your next email, your next meeting, your next casual chat. Pick one word swap and use it. Watch how differently people respond to you, and more importantly, notice how differently you feel about yourself.
