9 pieces of advice you ignored in your 30s that turned out to be devastatingly accurate

Looking back at my thirties, I realize I was that person who nodded politely when older colleagues shared their wisdom, then promptly ignored every word. I thought I knew better. Spoiler alert: I didn't.

Now in my forties, those pieces of advice I brushed off? They haunt me with their accuracy. Some cost me years of happiness. Others nearly cost me my health. If you're in your thirties right now, maybe you'll be smarter than I was. Maybe you'll actually listen.

Here are nine pieces of advice I ignored that turned out to be devastatingly accurate.

1. Your body keeps score

"Take care of your health now, or you'll pay for it later," my mentor told me when I was 33, surviving on four hours of sleep and convenience store coffee.

I laughed it off. I was invincible, right? Working 70-hour weeks as an analyst, I wore exhaustion like a badge of honor. Exercise? That was for people with time. Vegetables? Those were garnish.

At 36, my body presented the bill. Burnout hit me like a freight train. Suddenly, I couldn't concentrate, couldn't sleep properly even when I had the time, and my anxiety was through the roof. The therapy sessions that followed taught me what I should have learned years earlier: your thirties are when you either build healthy habits or start accumulating health debt that compounds with nasty interest.

2. Not making a decision is still a decision

Remember when everyone kept telling you to be intentional about your choices? Yeah, me too. I ignored them spectacularly.

I spent years in relationships that were "fine," stayed in a job that made me miserable because the pay was good, and kept putting off important conversations because "now wasn't the right time." What I didn't realize was that by not actively choosing, I was still choosing. I was choosing mediocrity, choosing stagnation, choosing to let life happen to me instead of making it happen.

The breakup that finally happened in my late twenties? Could have saved us both two years of unhappiness if I'd just made the decision when I first knew it wasn't working.

3. Money isn't worth your soul

"There's more to life than a fat paycheck," people said. "Sure," I thought, "but have you seen my student loans?"

I chased that six-figure salary like my life depended on it. Got it too, at 35. For about six months, I felt like I'd won at life. Then the reality set in. The money was nice, but I was miserable. Sunday nights filled me with dread. I'd become someone I didn't recognize, prioritizing spreadsheets over relationships, conference calls over actual conversations.

When I finally left that job at 37 to pursue writing, everyone thought I'd lost my mind. But you know what? My bank account got smaller, but my life got infinitely bigger.

4. Your parents won't be around forever

This one stings the most.

How many times did older friends tell me to spend more time with family? How many times did I say, "I will, when things slow down at work"? Too many to count.

When my father had his heart attack at 68, I realized how many Sundays I'd skipped, how many phone calls I'd cut short, how many visits I'd postponed. He recovered, thank goodness, but that wake-up call was brutal. All those hours I spent at the office suddenly seemed worthless compared to the time I could have spent with him.

5. Boundaries aren't mean, they're necessary

"You need to learn to say no," was probably the most repeated advice of my thirties. Did I listen? Of course not. I was going to be the exception, the superwoman who could do it all.

I said yes to every project, every favor, every social obligation. I thought I was being helpful and building a great reputation. What I was actually doing was training people to expect me to have no limits. By the time I hit my mid-thirties, I was everyone's go-to crisis solver, unpaid therapist, and last-minute babysitter.

Learning to say no felt selfish at first. But you know what's actually selfish? Saying yes when you don't mean it, then resenting people for taking what you offered.

6. Comparison truly is the thief of joy

Social media turned this old wisdom into a daily torture session. While I was grinding away at my analyst job, my feed was full of friends traveling, starting businesses, having babies, living what looked like perfect lives.

I spent so much energy comparing my behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. It wasn't until therapy at 36 that I understood how much this constant comparison was poisoning my ability to appreciate my own journey. That colleague with the perfect family? Going through a divorce. That friend with the amazing travel pics? Deeply in debt.

We're all fighting battles no one else can see. The sooner you stop comparing, the sooner you can actually enjoy your own life.

7. Your gut knows things your brain hasn't figured out yet

"Trust your instincts" sounded like woo-woo nonsense to my analytical brain. I needed data, pros and cons lists, extensive research.

But looking back, every major mistake I made in my thirties came from ignoring that little voice inside. The job that looked perfect on paper but felt wrong during the interview? Toxic workplace. The investment opportunity that seemed too good to be true? It was. The relationship where something felt off but I couldn't explain why? There were reasons, I just hadn't discovered them yet.

Your intuition is just your subconscious processing information faster than your conscious mind can articulate it. Listen to it.

8. Time is not renewable

"You can always make more money, but you can't make more time." Eye roll. Of course I knew time was limited. But knowing and understanding are two different things.

I spent my thirties acting like I had infinite tomorrows. I'll travel next year. I'll start that hobby when things calm down. I'll reconnect with old friends after this busy period. The problem? There's always another busy period, another deadline, another excuse.

Now I realize that every day I spent doing things I hated was a day I couldn't get back. Every year I postponed my dreams was a year less I had to live them.

9. Self-care isn't selfish

The number of times I heard "you can't pour from an empty cup" and thought it was just an excuse for lazy people? Embarrassing.

I wore my self-neglect like armor. Look how dedicated I am! Look how little I need! I skipped meals, skipped sleep, skipped anything that wasn't productive. Self-care was face masks and spa days, things for people who had already made it.

Wrong. So wrong. Self-care is setting boundaries. It's going to therapy. It's leaving a soul-crushing job even if it pays well. It's choosing yourself sometimes, not as an act of selfishness, but as an act of survival.

Final thoughts

If you're reading this in your thirties, you might be thinking what I thought back then: "This doesn't apply to me. I'm different. I can handle it."

Maybe you can. Maybe you're stronger, smarter, more balanced than I was. But maybe, just maybe, you could save yourself some pain by actually listening to the wisdom that's being offered to you.

The beautiful thing about advice is that you get to choose whether to take it. The devastating thing is that by the time you realize you should have listened, it's often too late to undo the consequences.

Your thirties aren't just about building your career or finding your person or having kids or whatever society tells you they're about. They're about becoming who you're meant to be. And sometimes, the best way to do that is to actually listen to the people who've already walked this path.

Trust me on this one. Or don't. But remember this article when you're in your forties, looking back at all the wisdom you ignored.