While most people assume aging means inevitable grumpiness, I've discovered a fascinating group of 60, 70, and 80-somethings who are actually becoming more joyful each year—and their secret isn't what you'd expect.
Ever notice how we tend to think getting older means getting grumpier? Like there's some unwritten rule that says each birthday should come with an extra dose of cynicism and a side of complaints about "kids these days"?
Well, I've got news for you: some of the happiest people I know are decades older than me, and they seem to be getting more joyful with each passing year. Not in spite of aging, but because of what they've learned along the way.
I've spent the past few years observing these remarkable individuals, from the 70-year-old who leads my Saturday trail running group to the retired teacher who works alongside me at the farmers' market. What I've discovered is that their happiness isn't random luck or good genes. They've developed specific habits that compound over time, creating an upward spiral of contentment.
If you're curious about what these habits are (and how you can start cultivating them no matter your age), you're in the right place.
1. They practice gratitude without making it feel like homework
I'll admit, when someone first suggested I keep a gratitude journal, I rolled my eyes so hard I'm surprised they didn't get stuck. The whole thing felt forced and cheesy. But then I noticed something: the happiest older adults I knew all had some form of gratitude practice.
One woman at my running group, who's 68, told me she writes three things she's grateful for every evening. Not because she read it in a self-help book, but because she started doing it during a rough patch in her 50s and never stopped. "It rewired my brain," she said simply.
I gave it a shot myself, and while I was initially skeptical, I now find it genuinely grounding. The key is making it yours. Some people write, others share gratitudes over dinner, and some just take a mental note during their morning coffee. The format doesn't matter as much as the consistency.
2. They move their bodies for joy, not punishment
Here's what I've noticed: happy older adults don't exercise because they "should." They move because it feels good. Period.
The 73-year-old who joins our trail runs every weekend? She's not tracking calories or obsessing over her pace. She shows up because she loves how the forest smells after rain and enjoys chatting with friends while navigating rocky paths. Movement becomes medicine when you stop treating it like a chore.
I discovered trail running at 28 as a way to cope with work stress, and now I log 20-30 miles weekly. But the shift from "have to" to "get to" changed everything. Find movement that makes you feel alive, whether that's dancing in your kitchen, gardening, or taking your dog on adventures.
3. They embrace change instead of fighting it
Remember when everyone got smartphones and some people dug in their heels, insisting flip phones were fine? The happiest older adults I know were the ones learning to FaceTime their grandkids, not the ones complaining about technology ruining everything.
This applies to bigger changes too. When I made the difficult decision to leave a six-figure salary at 37 to pursue writing full-time, the most supportive voices came from people in their 60s and 70s. They understood that clinging to what's comfortable often means missing out on what's possible.
As Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön writes, "You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather." The happiest older adults have learned to be the sky, letting changes pass through without losing their core sense of self.
4. They prioritize relationships over being right
You know that relative who still brings up that argument from Thanksgiving 2015? They're probably not on the "getting happier each year" trajectory.
The joyful older adults I know have mastered something powerful: they've learned to let things go. Not in a doormat way, but in a "this relationship matters more than this disagreement" way. They choose connection over correction.
One volunteer at the farmers' market, who's in her 70s, told me she used to argue politics with her brother constantly. Now? "I ask about his garden instead. We both leave happier." It's not about avoiding difficult topics entirely, but knowing when harmony serves you better than being right.
5. They keep learning new things
The stereotype says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. The reality? The happiest older adults are constantly learning, and they're not embarrassed about being beginners.
I met my partner at a trail running event five years ago, where a 65-year-old woman was taking her first trail running class. She could have felt self-conscious being decades older than most participants. Instead, she asked questions, laughed at her mistakes, and now she's one of the strongest runners in our group.
Whether it's learning a language, picking up an instrument, or figuring out TikTok, continuous learning keeps your brain sharp and your spirit young. Plus, being a beginner again reminds you that growth is always possible.
6. They give without keeping score
Every week at the farmers' market, I help with setup alongside volunteers who range from college students to retirees. The happiest ones? They're the people who show up consistently, help wherever needed, and never keep track of who owes them what.
Research backs this up too. Studies show that volunteering and acts of service are strongly linked to happiness and longevity. But here's the catch: it only works when you're giving freely, not when you're mentally tallying up karma points.
Find a way to contribute that feels authentic to you. Maybe it's mentoring someone in your field, maybe it's walking shelter dogs, or maybe it's simply being the neighbor who always has extra tomatoes to share.
7. They accept themselves (finally)
After decades of trying to be someone else, the happiest older adults have made peace with who they are. They've stopped apologizing for taking up space, stopped trying to fit into boxes that were never meant for them.
This doesn't mean they've given up on growth. It means they've stopped wasting energy on shame and self-criticism. They know their strengths and limitations, and they work with them instead of against them.
8. They focus on experiences over things
Ask happy older adults about their favorite memories, and they rarely mention possessions. They talk about trips, celebrations, quiet mornings with loved ones, unexpected adventures.
They've learned what researchers have been telling us for years: experiences bring more lasting happiness than material goods. That new car excitement fades, but the memory of a road trip with your best friend grows sweeter with time.
The bottom line
Getting older doesn't automatically mean getting happier, but it does give you more opportunities to practice these habits. The older adults who keep getting more joyful each year aren't just lucky. They've consciously chosen practices that compound over time.
The beautiful thing? You don't have to wait until you're 65 to start. Whether you're 25 or 75, these habits can reshape your trajectory. Pick one that resonates with you and start small. Your future self will thank you.
And who knows? Maybe someday you'll be the older adult that younger generations look at and wonder, "How do they keep getting happier?"
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