If you meet someone in their 70s who radiates calm joy, chances are they let go of these habits a long time ago.
Aging well isn’t about perfect health, perfect circumstances, or perfect genetics. I’ve spoken to countless older adults throughout my life—including my own parents—and one thing consistently stands out:
The most joyful people in their 70s, 80s and beyond aren’t just lucky. They’ve actively released certain habits that used to weigh them down.
They haven’t mastered life… they’ve simply stopped fighting it.
Here are the eight habits they’ve learned to say goodbye to—habits that quietly steal peace from most people long before they reach old age.
1. They’ve let go of the habit of worrying about things they can’t control
When you talk to genuinely happy older adults, they’ll tell you that most of what they worried about decades ago never actually happened.
At some point, they made a decision—conscious or not—to stop giving energy to things they couldn’t influence. They no longer lose sleep over:
- other people’s opinions
- future “what ifs” that may never come
- mistakes that can’t be undone
- political noise they can’t meaningfully change
By the time they reach their 70s, they’ve seen enough life to understand a simple truth: the more you resist uncertainty, the more miserable you become.
So instead of micromanaging outcomes, they focus on how they respond—something fully within their control.
2. They’ve said goodbye to comparing their life to others
Comparison is a young person’s game. It drains your energy, distorts your perspective, and makes you believe life is a competition you’re somehow losing.
But older adults who age joyfully? They don’t care who has:
- the bigger house
- the more successful children
- the fitter body
- the “better” retirement lifestyle
They’ve lived long enough to know that every path is different—and happiness never comes from winning invisible competitions.
They’ve replaced comparison with appreciation. With gratitude. With the quiet confidence that their story has value simply because it’s theirs.
3. They no longer hold on to resentment or old emotional wounds
This is one of the most profound truths I’ve learned through mindfulness and Buddhist philosophy: you can’t carry resentment and joy at the same time.
The happiest older adults understand this instinctively. They’ve let go of the emotional baggage they once clung to in their youth—grudges, betrayals, disappointments, unresolved conflicts.
Not because the people who hurt them deserved forgiveness, but because they deserved peace.
Letting go is a skill. And it’s also the theme of my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego—where I dive deep into why non-attachment is one of the greatest determinants of long-term happiness. If you haven’t read it yet, it’s a great companion to the ideas in this article.
By the time joyful people reach old age, they’ve released the emotional anchors that once held them down. And the lightness they feel is real.
4. They’ve stopped expecting life to be fair
Older adults who radiate contentment have made peace with a fundamental truth: life isn’t fair—and it never has been.
They’ve lived through loss, illness, setbacks, financial shocks, heartbreaks, and unexpected detours.
Instead of insisting that life should follow a particular script, they’ve learned to adapt. To bend without breaking. To move forward without demanding that everything make perfect sense.
Ironically, releasing the expectation of fairness makes life feel more fair—because you stop seeing every challenge as a personal attack.
5. They no longer cling to clutter—physical or mental
People who are joyful in their later decades almost always simplify their lives. Not out of minimalism trends or aesthetics—simply because it feels good.
They reduce:
- the possessions they own
- the commitments they make
- the relationships that drain them
- the mental noise they entertain
The clutter that felt normal in their 30s, 40s and 50s becomes unbearable in their 70s.
They understand that simplicity is freedom. And freedom is joy.
6. They’ve stopped rushing through life
The happiest older adults have shifted into a different rhythm of living. They take their time.
They no longer rush:
- meals
- conversations
- morning routines
- walks
- decisions
They savor.
Slowness becomes a form of wisdom. A way of noticing beauty that younger, busier people constantly miss.
You’ll often hear them say things like:
“What’s the hurry?”
And they mean it. Because they’ve realized that rushing through life doesn’t get you to happiness faster—it only causes you to miss it entirely.
7. They no longer try to control everyone around them
In their youth, they may have worried about how their children were living, how their partner behaved, or how others were making choices they disagreed with.
But joyful older adults? They let people be who they are.
They understand that trying to control others only leads to stress, conflict, and disappointment.
Through experience, they’ve learned that people do what they want—not what you want. And the more peace you develop within yourself, the less you need to manage anyone else’s life.
The result? Their relationships improve. Their stress decreases. Their presence becomes gentle instead of judgmental.
8. They’ve stopped believing happiness is something “out there”
Perhaps the biggest shift joyful older adults make is realizing that happiness doesn’t arrive later—it’s cultivated now.
You’ll notice that they no longer say things like:
- “I’ll be happy when…”
- “Once things settle down…”
- “When I finally retire…”
They’ve stopped chasing. Stopped postponing. Stopped outsourcing their well-being to external events.
Instead, they focus on small daily choices:
- connecting with loved ones
- enjoying simple routines
- moving their body even a little
- staying curious about life
- finding moments of quiet joy
They don’t wait for happiness—they practice it.
Final thoughts
People who remain joyful and content well into their 70s and beyond aren’t simply blessed with good fortune. They’ve released habits that drained them and embraced ways of living that nourish them.
If you want to age with the same lightness, consider which of these habits you may still be holding onto.
And if you’d like a deeper dive into the Buddhist principles that help people let go of attachment, resentment, and ego—the very habits that steal joy—my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego explores exactly that. It’s a practical guide to building the kind of inner freedom that joyful older adults radiate naturally.
Aging well is less about adding things to your life, and more about gently releasing what no longer serves you.
And the best time to start is now.
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