For years, I tried every trick to silence my racing mind—and failed. Then one simple shift changed everything, bringing me the peace I’d been chasing.
For most of my adult life, I lived inside my head.
I was the guy who couldn’t switch off, who replayed conversations from a week ago, who analyzed people’s facial expressions after I said something, who planned not just tomorrow but next month, next year, and the next decade.
On the outside, my life looked good. I was running a business, I had relationships, I traveled. But inside, I was locked in a constant cycle of overthinking. And here’s the kicker: I knew I was doing it. I knew that worrying over every detail wasn’t healthy, that rehearsing every possible future scenario wasn’t making me more prepared—it was draining me.
So, I did what any modern self-improvement junkie does. I tried everything. Meditation. Journaling. Yoga. Breathing techniques. Apps that told me to “relax my jaw.” Even mindfulness retreats where I sat in silence for days.
Each of these helped a little. But then the noise would return. The anxious loops in my mind would spin up again, convincing me I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t being enough.
It wasn’t until I stumbled across one simple change—something so basic I nearly dismissed it—that I finally felt real peace.
The hidden cost of overthinking
If you’ve ever been caught in your own head, you’ll know it’s exhausting. Psychologists describe overthinking as “rumination”: the tendency to dwell on the same thoughts over and over, usually negative ones.
Research shows that rumination is strongly linked to anxiety and depression. The more you churn through what-ifs and past regrets, the more stuck you feel.
But there’s another cost we don’t often talk about. Overthinking robs you of presence. You can be sitting across from someone you love—your partner, your child, your parent—and not really be there. You’re nodding, but your mind is somewhere else. You’re not living your life; you’re running simulations of it.
That was me. And the more I tried to force myself to relax, the more tense I became.
The big mistake I was making
For years, I thought the solution was to control my thoughts.
If only I could learn the right breathing technique.
If only I could sit still long enough on the meditation cushion.
If only I could replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
This mindset is seductive. It gives you the illusion that peace is just around the corner, if only you try a bit harder. But here’s the problem: overthinkers don’t need more strategies for controlling the mind. Control is the problem.
The more you wrestle with your thoughts, the more they fight back. It’s like trying not to think of a pink elephant—the harder you resist, the louder it gets.
The one change that shifted everything
The breakthrough came when I stopped asking: “How can I relax?” and started asking: “Can I let this moment be exactly as it is?”
This wasn’t about emptying my mind or finding the perfect meditation posture. It was about radical acceptance of whatever was happening—inside or outside.
When my mind started spinning with worries, instead of pushing them away, I said: “Okay, this is here. Let it be.”
When my body felt tight, instead of trying to force it to loosen, I said: “Alright, tension is here. Let it be.”
When silence felt uncomfortable, instead of filling it, I said: “This is silence. Let it be.”
That’s it. Those three words: let it be.
It sounds simple. Almost too simple. But when I began applying this shift in daily life, something remarkable happened: the thoughts lost their grip. They were still there, but they no longer ruled me.
Why “letting it be” works
From a psychological perspective, this approach aligns with what’s called acceptance-based therapy. Instead of trying to eliminate unwanted thoughts or feelings, you allow them to exist without judgment. Over time, they lose their sting.
From a Buddhist perspective—something I’ve studied deeply—it’s the principle of non-attachment. We suffer not because of what happens, but because of how tightly we cling to it. By loosening our grip, we open space for peace.
In practice, “letting it be” interrupts the cycle of overthinking. Instead of spiraling deeper into analysis, you meet the thought with acceptance and let it drift by. It’s not suppression. It’s not control. It’s surrender.
How I applied it in everyday life
Here are a few ways I started using this simple shift:
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During conversations
When my mind began analyzing what the other person really meant, I silently repeated: “Let it be.” It helped me return to actually listening. -
When lying awake at night
Instead of trying to force sleep by stopping thoughts, I said: “Okay, my mind is busy. Let it be.” Ironically, this is what finally allowed sleep to come. -
When planning for the future
I’m a business owner, so planning is part of my life. But when my mind slipped into catastrophizing—imagining every possible failure—I told myself: “These are just thoughts. Let them be.” -
When emotions rose up
Sadness, anxiety, frustration—emotions used to trigger more overthinking. Now, I acknowledge them: “This is sadness. Let it be.” It takes the edge off and allows the feeling to move through naturally.
What changed for me
Within weeks, I noticed a profound difference.
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My relationships improved because I was more present.
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My sleep became deeper.
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Work felt lighter, less pressured.
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Even running, something I do almost daily, felt freer—like I wasn’t chasing a result but simply being in motion.
The biggest change? For the first time in my life, peace felt accessible—not as a reward for “figuring things out,” but as something always available when I stopped resisting.
A paradox worth embracing
There’s a paradox here: the moment I stopped trying to relax, I relaxed.
It reminds me of something I once read in Zen teachings: “Don’t seek it, and you’ll find it.” For years, I thought peace was a place I had to travel to, a state I had to earn. But it was here all along—beneath the layers of overthinking.
By letting things be, I didn’t become passive. I still work hard. I still make decisions. I still plan. But I no longer feel consumed by the endless chatter of my mind.
How you can try this today
If you’re an overthinker like me, here’s a simple practice:
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The next time you notice yourself spiraling into analysis, pause.
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Instead of arguing with the thought, label it gently: “This is worry.” Or, “This is planning.”
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Say to yourself: “Let it be.”
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Bring your attention back to the present moment—your breath, your body, the person in front of you.
Repeat this a hundred times a day if you need to. Over time, it becomes second nature.
The deeper lesson
What I’ve learned is this: peace isn’t about controlling the mind. It’s about changing your relationship to it.
Overthinking thrives on resistance. The more you push against it, the stronger it becomes. But when you stop pushing—when you let it be—the whole game changes.
It doesn’t mean you’ll never worry again. It doesn’t mean your mind will always be quiet. But it does mean you’ll stop being a prisoner of your thoughts.
And that, to me, is the definition of peace.
Final thoughts
I’m not here to promise that one phrase will solve every struggle in your life. But I can tell you this: shifting from “How do I relax?” to “Can I let this be?” was the single most important change I ever made as an overthinker.
It was the key that unlocked the door I’d been banging on for years.
If you’re caught in the same cycle, I hope you’ll try it. Not as another technique to master, but as a gentle reminder that you don’t need to fight your thoughts to be free of them.
Sometimes, the path to peace isn’t found in doing more, but in surrendering—three words at a time.
Let it be.
A note from me
If this article resonated with you, you might enjoy my book: Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. In it, I share more about how Buddhist wisdom can help us find clarity in a noisy, overwhelming world—without needing to escape our everyday lives.
Because peace isn’t something far away. It’s already here.
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