I spent 10 years trapped by self-limiting beliefs—these 7 mindset shifts finally set me free

For most of my twenties, I lived inside a prison I didn’t even know existed.
There were no walls, no guards, no bars—just my own thoughts.

On the outside, I looked “fine.” I had a degree, a job, a social life. But internally, I was running a constant commentary of doubt and fear. I thought I wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t confident enough, wasn’t “ready yet” for anything big.

That’s the tricky thing about self-limiting beliefs: they whisper so quietly you mistake them for truth.

Looking back now, I realize I spent nearly a decade playing small because of those quiet voices. The following seven mindset shifts were what finally helped me break free and start living with confidence, purpose, and peace.

1. I stopped believing every thought that entered my head

For years I assumed every thought was a fact.
If my mind said “you’ll fail”, I treated it as prophecy.

But one day, after reading about mindfulness, I realized something simple yet life-changing: my thoughts are not me. They’re just mental events passing through—like clouds across the sky.

When you learn to observe your thoughts instead of obeying them, they lose their power.
Now when self-doubt arises, I silently say: “Thanks for sharing.” Then I move forward anyway.

Freedom begins the moment you stop treating your mind like a dictator and start treating it like background noise.

2. I replaced perfectionism with progress

Perfectionism was my favorite disguise for fear.
It sounded noble—“I just want to do my best”—but underneath was anxiety: If it isn’t perfect, I’ll be judged.

I used to rewrite the same article for hours, or refuse to launch a project until it was flawless. Of course, nothing ever felt flawless, so most ideas stayed trapped in drafts.

Then I learned the mindset of “progress over perfection.”
Each day, I aim to be 1 percent better—nothing more.

Momentum beats mastery when you’re stuck. Perfection keeps you waiting for the right moment; progress creates it.

3. I stopped chasing ego goals and started living with intention

For a long time, my goals were about proving something—earning respect, gaining status, building success that others could see.

But chasing ego goals is like drinking salt water: the more you consume, the thirstier you get.

When I began studying Buddhist philosophy, I learned that true freedom comes from non-attachment—the ability to act with purpose without needing external validation.

Now I ask one question before any big decision:
“Does this align with who I want to be, or with how I want to look?”

That single question has saved me from countless wrong turns.
When your goals come from intention rather than insecurity, life stops feeling like a competition and starts feeling like peace.

4. I learned to take uncomfortable action

You can read every self-help book on Earth and still stay stuck—if you never act.
I know because I did.

I used to over-plan and under-execute. I’d make elaborate routines, color-coded calendars, and then avoid the hard parts. Why? Because growth is uncomfortable.

Eventually, I realized that confidence doesn’t come before action; it’s created by action. Every time you do something that scares you, you build evidence that you can handle discomfort.

So now I follow what I call the “15-second rule.”
When fear hits, I give myself 15 seconds to act—send the email, make the call, take the step—before doubt talks me out of it.

The first few seconds of courage can change the next few years of your life.

5. I stopped comparing my chapter 2 to someone else’s chapter 20

Social media made me feel like a failure.
Everyone seemed younger, richer, fitter, and happier.

But what I eventually understood is that I was comparing my behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. Comparison is a thief—it steals gratitude and replaces it with shame.

When I finally accepted that everyone’s timeline is different, I could breathe again.
Now, when I catch myself comparing, I redirect the energy: “If they can do it, maybe I can too.”

Someone else’s success isn’t proof that you’re behind; it’s proof that what you want is possible.

6. I reframed failure as feedback

For most of my twenties, failure meant humiliation.
I thought getting rejected or making a mistake confirmed my worst fears about myself.

Then I started noticing that every “successful” person I admired—writers, entrepreneurs, athletes—had failed far more than I had. The difference was that they didn’t label it as failure; they labeled it as information.

When you view failure as feedback, you remove the shame and keep the lesson.
Now when something doesn’t work, I ask:

• What did this teach me?

• What will I try differently next time?

The people who win long-term aren’t the smartest or luckiest—they’re the ones who stay in the game long enough to learn how to play it better.

7. I redefined what success actually means

For years, I thought success was a finish line—a certain income, a specific recognition, a particular lifestyle.

But when I reached many of the goals I’d once dreamed of, the satisfaction didn’t last. I’d immediately move the goalpost further away.

Eventually I understood: success isn’t something you achieve, it’s something you feel when your actions align with your values.

For me, success now means waking up calm, doing meaningful work, having time for family, and feeling grounded in who I am. That’s it.

It’s quieter than the version I once imagined—but infinitely more fulfilling.

The quiet revolution of self-belief

These mindset shifts didn’t transform me overnight.
They unfolded slowly, through meditation, reflection, and thousands of small choices that replaced self-criticism with curiosity.

Here’s the truth I wish I’d known a decade ago:
You don’t need to become a new person—you just need to stop believing the lies your old self keeps repeating.

Every limiting belief is just a story that once kept you safe. But safety and freedom rarely live in the same room.

If you’re trapped by self-doubt right now, remember: the door is already unlocked. You just have to walk through it.

A final reflection

When I look back on those ten years of limitation, I don’t feel regret anymore. I feel gratitude.
Without those struggles, I wouldn’t have learned mindfulness, or written my book, or built the life I have now between Saigon and Singapore.

If you’re feeling stuck—unsure, afraid, convinced that change isn’t possible—I want you to know it is. It starts with one small mindset shift, then another, and another.

That’s how you build freedom from the inside out.

If you’d like to dive deeper into these ideas, I explore them fully in my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. It’s the guide I wish I’d had when I was still trapped by my own thoughts.

Because ultimately, the biggest transformation of your life doesn’t happen when you achieve more.
It happens when you finally realize you were never broken—you were just believing the wrong story.