Psychology says people who overshare their goals aren't more motivated - they're actually less likely to achieve them because the brain registers the telling as a form of the doing

Have you ever noticed how some people can't help but announce every single goal they set? Maybe you've been that person. I certainly have.

You bump into a friend at the coffee shop and before you know it, you're telling them about your new workout routine, the side business you're launching, and that novel you're finally going to finish. You walk away feeling pumped, like you've already accomplished something just by sharing your plans.

But here's what psychology has discovered: that good feeling you get from sharing your goals? It might actually be sabotaging your success. Research shows that people who constantly broadcast their intentions are less likely to follow through, not more. Our brains play a fascinating trick on us, registering the telling as a form of doing, which reduces our actual motivation to take action.

The illusion of progress

When I was working as a financial analyst, I had this colleague who would announce every Monday morning that she was going to apply for a promotion. She'd tell everyone in the break room about her plan to update her resume, network with senior management, and take on high-visibility projects. Week after week, month after month, the announcements continued. The promotion never came.

At the time, I thought she just lacked follow-through. Now I understand something deeper was happening.

Marwa Azab, Ph.D., an Adjunct Professor of Psychology and Human Development, explains it perfectly: "The more committed to your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

When we share our goals, especially repeatedly, we get a hit of satisfaction. People congratulate us, they're impressed by our ambition, and we feel acknowledged. The problem? Our brain interprets this social recognition as partial goal completion. We've already gotten some of the reward without doing any of the work.

Think about it. How many times have you told someone about a goal and then felt less urgency to actually pursue it? That's not laziness. That's your brain thinking you've already made progress when all you've done is talk.

Why we overshare our goals

So if oversharing hurts our chances of success, why do we keep doing it?

Carolyn Cole, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, offers this insight: "When people overshare, they are often desiring very much to connect with someone."

This hits home for me. During my finance career days, I'd constantly share my goals because I was seeking connection and validation. I'd tell anyone who would listen about my plans to run a marathon, learn Spanish, or get that next promotion. Looking back, I realize I was using goal-sharing as a way to feel seen and important.

But there's another layer here. Sometimes we share our goals because we think it creates accountability. We believe that if we tell others, we'll be more likely to follow through to avoid embarrassment. While this can work in specific circumstances with the right people, broadcasting to everyone often has the opposite effect.

The motivation trap

Here's something counterintuitive I've learned: being overly pumped about your goals can actually work against you.

David DiSalvo, a science writer, puts it bluntly: "Overmotivation can undermine goal achievement."

I experienced this firsthand when I decided to leave my six-figure finance job to become a writer. In the beginning, I was so excited that I told everyone. I shared my writing goals on social media, talked about my book ideas at parties, and constantly updated friends on my progress. All that sharing felt productive, but my actual writing output? Minimal.

The constant talking about writing was draining the energy I needed for actual writing. Plus, the positive feedback I got from sharing my plans was giving me a false sense of accomplishment.

When sharing actually helps

Now, before you decide to become a complete vault about your goals, let me share something important. Not all goal-sharing is created equal.

Research shows that sharing goals with similar others can actually intensify goal pursuit, especially when you're working toward the same objective within a supportive group.

The key difference? This isn't about broadcasting or seeking validation. It's about strategic sharing with people who are on a similar journey.

When I started trail running seriously, I joined a small group of runners who met every Saturday morning. We shared our training goals, but more importantly, we showed up and did the work together. The sharing was secondary to the doing.

The power of keeping quiet

M. L. Slepian, a psychologist, offers this refreshing perspective: "The secret is out: Secrets are not bad—well, not always."

There's something powerful about holding your goals close, letting them be yours alone while you work on them. It preserves that internal motivation and hunger that drives real action.

After my burnout at 36 led me to therapy, I learned to distinguish between goals I wanted to share for connection versus goals I needed to keep private for momentum. My most meaningful achievements since then? They've been the ones I worked on quietly.

Making it real with implementation

So how do we actually achieve our goals if we're not talking about them all the time?

The answer lies in something called implementation intentions. Research shows that forming specific plans about when, where, and how to act significantly increases goal attainment.

Instead of announcing "I'm going to write a book," you quietly decide: "I will write for one hour every morning at 6 AM at my kitchen table before checking email." No fanfare, no social media post, just a clear plan and consistent action.

This shift from declaration to implementation changed everything for me. When I stopped talking about becoming a writer and started actually writing every morning, my career transformation finally happened.

Finding balance

Look, I'm not suggesting you become a hermit who never shares anything with anyone. Connection is important, and sometimes we need support.

The trick is being intentional about what you share, with whom, and when. Ask yourself: Am I sharing this because I want connection and validation, or because I genuinely need specific help or accountability?

If it's the former, maybe journal about it instead. If it's the latter, share with one trusted person who can actually support your journey, not your entire social media following.

Remember when I mentioned my achievement addiction? Part of my recovery was learning that I didn't need to announce every goal to feel worthy. The work itself became enough.

Your goals deserve more than just talk. They deserve action, focus, and the kind of quiet determination that doesn't need an audience. Because at the end of the day, the only validation that truly matters is the satisfaction of knowing you did what you said you would do, even if you never said it out loud.