From hoarding hotel shampoo bottles to working yourself into the ground, these deeply ingrained survival habits from childhood poverty can sabotage your success long after your bank account says you've made it.
Growing up, I watched my best friend's family navigate life differently than mine. While my parents debated which organic grocery store to visit, her mom clipped coupons like her life depended on it. Years later, that same friend became a successful entrepreneur, yet she still hoards napkins from restaurants and feels guilty buying anything that isn't on sale.
Success doesn't always erase the habits we developed in our formative years. In fact, some behaviors that once helped us survive can actually hold us back once we've made it. After spending years in finance watching colleagues from various backgrounds, I've noticed certain patterns that reveal our past, even when our bank accounts tell a different story.
If you've worked hard to change your circumstances, these behaviors might still be following you around. Recognizing them is the first step to letting them go.
1. Hoarding free stuff you don't need
Ever find yourself grabbing every free pen at a conference? Taking home the hotel toiletries even though you have a cabinet full at home? Loading up on free samples at Costco when you're not even hungry?
This behavior often stems from a scarcity mindset that whispers, "Take it while you can because you never know when you'll get another chance." When resources were limited growing up, free meant survival. Free meant one less thing to worry about.
I had a colleague who earned six figures but couldn't pass up free anything. Her office drawer was stuffed with conference swag, most of it useless. She finally realized this habit when she moved offices and found herself packing boxes of promotional stress balls and branded USB drives she'd never touched.
The truth is, when you have enough, you can afford to be selective. You don't need to grab everything just because it's there. Your worth isn't determined by how much you can accumulate anymore.
2. Feeling guilty about spending money on yourself
Do you find yourself justifying every purchase, even necessities? Maybe you wear shoes until they're falling apart or skip dental cleanings because they feel too expensive, despite having good insurance?
This guilt often comes from years of watching every penny matter. When you grew up hearing "we can't afford that" or "money doesn't grow on trees," spending on yourself can feel selfish or wasteful, even when you have plenty.
During my finance days, I noticed this pattern repeatedly. Executives who grew up with less would drive luxury cars (status symbols for others to see) but eat instant ramen for lunch alone in their offices. The external success was there, but privately, they couldn't shake the feeling that they didn't deserve nice things.
Breaking this pattern means recognizing that taking care of yourself isn't wasteful. Quality shoes that support your feet, regular healthcare, nutritious food - these aren't luxuries. They're investments in your wellbeing.
3. Overeating at free events
Picture this: You're at a work event with a buffet. You're not particularly hungry, but you load up your plate anyway. Then go back for seconds. Maybe even wrap some food in napkins for later.
When food insecurity is part of your history, free food triggers something primal. Your body remembers what it felt like to not know where the next meal would come from, even if your mind knows you can afford groceries now.
A friend once told me she realized she had an issue when she ate three plates at a wedding buffet and felt sick afterward. She wasn't hungry after the first plate, but something in her couldn't stop. "It was free and it was there," she said. "I felt like I had to take advantage."
Learning to trust that there will always be enough food takes time. Start small. Remind yourself that you can buy any of this food whenever you want. The buffet isn't your last chance to eat well.
4. Keeping broken things "just in case"
That printer that only works if you hold the paper tray at exactly the right angle? The jacket with the broken zipper you'll fix someday? The phone with the cracked screen that still technically works?
When you grew up with limited resources, everything had potential value. Throwing things away felt wasteful because replacement wasn't guaranteed. You learned to make do, to fix, to find workarounds.
But here's what I've learned: holding onto broken things takes up more than physical space. It takes mental energy. Every time you see that broken item, you either feel guilty for not fixing it or frustrated that it doesn't work properly.
You can afford to have things that work correctly now. You deserve functional items that make your life easier, not harder.
5. Extreme loyalty to sales and discounts
Would you drive an extra twenty minutes to save three dollars on gas? Do you postpone purchases for months waiting for the perfect sale? Have you ever bought something you didn't need because the discount was too good to pass up?
Strategic shopping makes sense, but when it becomes an obsession, it might be a carryover from harder times. The thrill of finding a deal can become addictive, especially if bargain hunting was once a survival skill.
I watched a successful attorney friend spend hours researching the absolute cheapest flight for a vacation, eventually saving forty dollars but losing an entire afternoon of billable hours worth far more. When I pointed this out, she laughed and said, "I know it doesn't make sense, but I can't help it."
Value your time as much as your money. Sometimes paying full price for convenience, quality, or peace of mind is the better investment.
6. Difficulty accepting help or gifts
When someone offers to pick up the lunch tab, do you fight them for it? Feel uncomfortable when receiving gifts? Have trouble delegating tasks even when you can afford to hire help?
This often comes from years of fierce independence born from necessity. When you couldn't rely on others for help, you learned to do everything yourself. Accepting help might have felt like weakness or creating a debt you couldn't repay.
But relationships aren't transactions. Accepting help doesn't make you weak or indebted. It makes you human. People who care about you want to contribute to your life, just as you want to contribute to theirs.
7. Overworking to prove your worth
Are you always the first one in the office and the last to leave? Do you volunteer for every project, skip vacations, and answer emails at midnight?
When success feels precarious because you remember what it's like to have nothing, you might overcompensate by working yourself into the ground. There's a fear that if you slow down, it might all disappear.
This one hit close to home for me. Even in finance, making more money than I ever imagined, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to prove I deserved to be there. My father's heart attack at 68 made me realize that no amount of proving myself was worth sacrificing my health or happiness.
Your value isn't determined by how many hours you work or how exhausted you are. Success that comes at the expense of your wellbeing isn't really success at all.
Final thoughts
These behaviors served a purpose once. They helped you survive, maybe even thrive, in difficult circumstances. There's no shame in where you came from or what you had to do to get here.
But you're in a different place now. You can afford to let go of habits that no longer serve you. You can trust that there's enough - enough food, enough money, enough opportunity, enough love.
Change takes time. Be patient with yourself as you unlearn these patterns. And remember, recognizing them is already a huge step forward. You've come so far from where you started. Give yourself permission to fully inhabit the success you've earned.
