10 phrases people with high level social skills use to make others feel special

Ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you genuinely mattered to someone? I remember meeting a colleague years ago who had this uncanny ability to make everyone feel like the most interesting person in the room. It wasn't until I started paying attention that I realized it wasn't magic. It was deliberate.

After years of struggling with social anxiety and learning to navigate conversations across cultural barriers with my wife, I've discovered that the most socially skilled people have a secret arsenal. They use specific phrases that create instant connection and make others feel truly valued.

These aren't manipulative tactics or empty flattery. They're genuine expressions that, when used authentically, transform ordinary interactions into memorable moments.

Today, I'm sharing the 10 phrases that separate those with exceptional social skills from everyone else. Master these, and watch how people light up in your presence.

1. "That's such an interesting way to look at it"

This phrase is pure gold when someone shares their perspective, especially if it differs from yours.

I used to think having the right answer was what mattered in conversations. But through practicing active listening, particularly when navigating cultural differences with my wife, I learned something profound: validation beats being right every single time.

When you tell someone their viewpoint is interesting, you're not necessarily agreeing with them. You're acknowledging their unique perspective and showing that their thoughts have value. It encourages them to share more and deepens the conversation naturally.

The beauty of this phrase? It works whether you're discussing work strategies, life philosophies, or why pineapple belongs on pizza. It shows intellectual humility and genuine curiosity about how others see the world.

2. "I remember you mentioned..."

Nothing makes someone feel more special than knowing you actually listened to them weeks or months ago.

This phrase demonstrates that they made enough of an impression for you to store away details about their life. Whether it's remembering their daughter's soccer tournament or that project they were nervous about, bringing up past conversations shows you see them as more than just another face in the crowd.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how presence and attention are gifts we give others. This phrase embodies that principle perfectly.

3. "What was that experience like for you?"

Most people ask surface questions and accept surface answers. But those with high social skills dig deeper.

This question invites someone to share not just what happened, but how it affected them emotionally. It transforms small talk into real talk. Instead of just hearing about someone's vacation, you learn what it meant to them. Instead of knowing they got promoted, you understand their journey.

I've found this particularly powerful when someone shares something significant. It shows you care about their inner world, not just the facts of their story.

4. "You have such a gift for..."

Generic compliments are forgettable. Specific recognition of someone's talents or qualities creates lasting impact.

When you identify and acknowledge someone's particular strength, whether it's their ability to explain complex ideas simply, their knack for making people laugh, or their talent for bringing teams together, you're seeing them for who they really are.

This phrase works because it shows you've been paying attention to their unique contributions, not just throwing out random praise.

5. "I never thought of it that way before"

Intellectual generosity is magnetic. When you admit someone has expanded your thinking, you give them a powerful gift: the feeling of being a teacher and influencer.

Years ago, I would have seen admitting this as weakness. Now I know it takes confidence to acknowledge when someone changes your perspective. It makes them feel intelligent, insightful, and valuable.

Plus, it's often true. If you're genuinely listening with an open mind, people will regularly share perspectives that shift your thinking.

6. "Tell me more about that"

Four simple words that communicate volumes: I'm interested. You matter. Your story is worth my time.

In our age of constant distractions and shortened attention spans, giving someone your full focus is increasingly rare. This phrase is an invitation to go deeper, to share more fully, to be truly heard.

The key is to say it genuinely, then actually listen to the response. As I discuss in Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, presence is one of the greatest gifts we can offer another person.

7. "You inspired me to..."

Want to make someone's day? Tell them how they've positively influenced your actions or thinking.

Whether they inspired you to try a new restaurant, read a book, or approach a problem differently, letting someone know they've had an impact on your life is incredibly affirming. It shows that their words and actions ripple outward in meaningful ways.

I make a point of sharing these moments when they happen. The joy on people's faces when they realize they've made a difference is always worth it.

8. "I was just thinking about you"

In a world where we're all fighting to be remembered, telling someone they crossed your mind unprompted is surprisingly powerful.

Maybe you saw something that reminded you of a conversation you had, or their advice helped you through a situation. Sharing these moments of spontaneous remembrance makes people feel significant in your life, even when they're not physically present.

This phrase is especially powerful when followed by a specific reason: "I was just thinking about you when I saw that article about urban gardening. Didn't you mention wanting to start one?"

9. "Your perspective really helped me"

Everybody wants to feel helpful. When you explicitly acknowledge how someone's input made a difference, you validate their worth and wisdom.

I've learned to share these moments of gratitude specifically. Instead of a vague "thanks for the chat," I'll say something like, "Your perspective on setting boundaries really helped me handle that difficult client situation."

It creates a positive feedback loop. People who feel helpful are more likely to continue offering support and wisdom.

10. "What do you think about...?"

Seeking someone's opinion on something important shows respect for their judgment and intelligence.

This phrase positions them as someone whose thoughts matter, whose wisdom you value. Whether you're asking about a decision you're facing, a book you're reading, or a situation you're navigating, you're essentially saying: "I trust your thinking on this."

The key is to ask about things that genuinely matter, not just token questions. People can sense the difference between authentic interest and polite conversation.

Final words

These phrases aren't scripts to memorize or tricks to deploy. They're expressions of genuine interest, respect, and care for the people around you.

What makes them powerful isn't the words themselves, but the intention behind them. When you truly see people, listen to them, and value their presence in your life, these phrases flow naturally.

The colleague I mentioned at the beginning? He taught me that making others feel special isn't about being charismatic or naturally gifted. Through overcoming my own social anxiety and learning to practice vulnerability first in writing and then in person, I've discovered that connection comes from presence, attention, and the simple act of letting people know they matter.

Start with just one or two of these phrases. Use them authentically. Watch how conversations deepen, relationships strengthen, and people begin to light up when they see you.

Because at the end of the day, we all want the same thing: to feel seen, heard, and valued. These phrases help you give that gift to everyone you meet.