7 things parents say they're doing "for the kids" that are actually just about their own ego

There's a thin line between doing something for your children and doing it for your own pride.

Many parents claim they're acting in their child's best interest when, in reality, it's more about boosting their own ego.

As parents, we mean well, but sometimes we need to step back and acknowledge that our actions may be more about us than our kids.

Here are 7 things that parents say they're doing "for the kids" but are actually ego-driven. You'll see how easily good intentions can be blurred by personal desires.

That's what this article is all about and it’s time we shed some light on this.

1) Enrolling kids in too many activities

It's a common sight, parents who over-schedule their children with a slew of extracurricular activities.

Whether it's sports, music, dance, or academic clubs, there's always something going on. And while the intention might be to broaden our child's horizons and foster their talents, it can often be more about parental ego.

We want our kids to excel, to stand out, to be the best. And that desire often comes from a place within us that wants to be seen as successful parents.

But in reality, this over-scheduling can lead to burnout and stress for the children. It's crucial we recognize when we're pushing our agendas and ambitions onto our kids rather than genuinely catering to their interests and well-being.

Remember, it's their life, not a performance for parental pride.

2) Picking their friends

This one hits close to home for me. Growing up, my parents had a habit of steering me towards certain friends over others.

You know what I mean. The kids whose parents held similar values, or had impressive job titles, or belonged to the same social circles as my parents. The underlying message was always that these were the "right" kind of friends to have.

Now as a parent myself, I understand the instinct to want your children surrounded by positive influences. But there's a fine line between guiding them and imposing your own social preferences on them.

Looking back, I can see that my parents' choices were often influenced by their own egos and social standings. They wanted me to be friends with kids who reflected well on them as parents.

But children need the freedom to form their own relationships, learn from their own experiences and make their own mistakes. As parents, it's our job to guide them, not control them. And definitely not to boost our own social standing.

3) Overemphasis on grades

We've all heard of the parent who obsesses over their child's grades, pushing for perfection in every subject. This pressure can often stem from a parent's desire to brag about their child's academic achievements.

While it's important to encourage academic success, it's equally important to reinforce the value of learning for its own sake and not just for the grade.

The focus should be on effort, improvement and the joy of learning. Not just a grade that serves to boost a parent's ego.

4) Dictating their career paths

This is a classic one. Parents deciding what careers their children should pursue, often without considering the child's interests, strengths or passions.

We've seen parents pushing their kids towards medicine, law, engineering, or any other profession they deem prestigious. And while they may argue it's for the child's financial stability, it's often more about their own ego.

Being able to say "my child is a doctor" or "my kid is an engineer" can be a source of pride for many parents. But at what cost?

Our children's happiness and fulfillment in their careers should always be the priority over our need to brag about their job titles. Let's guide them towards what they love and where they excel, instead of pushing our own unfulfilled dreams onto them.

5) Living vicariously through them

When I was a kid, my dad loved baseball. He was a great player in his youth and was passionate about the game. So naturally, he wanted me to play too.

Every weekend was spent on the field, practicing for hours. To be honest, I didn't share his love for the game. My passion was art. But I played because it made him happy, because I thought it was what he wanted for me.

This is a common scenario in many families. Parents trying to relive their own dreams or missed opportunities through their kids. Pushing them into sports, arts, or hobbies that the child might not be interested in.

It’s important for us as parents to support our children’s individual passions and interests rather than trying to relive our own dreams through them. Their happiness should always come before our own nostalgia or regret.

6) Oversharing on social media

In this digital age, it's become increasingly common for parents to share every aspect of their children's lives on social media. From achievements to cute moments, nothing is off-limits.

While it may seem like a harmless way to document memories and share milestones, it can sometimes be more about the parent's need for validation and affirmation.

The "likes" and comments from friends and family can become a way for parents to boost their own ego, often at the expense of their child's privacy.

It's crucial that we respect our children's privacy and think twice before sharing their lives online. Not every moment needs to be public, and not every "like" boosts a child's well-being.

7) Always having the last word

As parents, we often feel the need to have the final say in any disagreement or discussion with our children. We justify this by saying we know what's best for them.

But in reality, always needing to have the last word can be about asserting our own power and superiority. It's more about our ego than about teaching or guiding our children.

Children need to feel heard and respected. Their opinions and feelings matter. Letting them have the last word sometimes doesn't mean you're losing control. It means you're teaching them the importance of dialogue, respect, and empathy.

Remember, parenting is not a power struggle. It's about raising confident, compassionate individuals who can express themselves freely.