Psychology says people who get anxious when the phone rings usually display these 8 behaviors

Does your heart start racing the moment your phone rings?

I used to think I was the only one who felt this way.

Back when I was working those 70-hour weeks as a junior analyst, every unexpected call felt like a potential disaster waiting to happen.

My mind would immediately jump to worst-case scenarios: Did I mess up that report? Is someone calling with bad news? What if it's my boss and I say something wrong?

It wasn't until I started therapy after burning out at 36 that I realized this phone anxiety was just one piece of a much bigger puzzle.

My therapist helped me see that certain behaviors I'd developed over the years were all connected to this underlying anxiety about unexpected communication.

If you're someone who feels that familiar dread when your ringtone goes off, you're definitely not alone.

Research shows that phone anxiety is increasingly common, and people who experience it often share similar behavioral patterns.

Today, I want to walk you through eight behaviors that tend to go hand-in-hand with phone anxiety.

Maybe you'll recognize yourself in some of these, and more importantly, you'll understand that these patterns aren't permanent.

1) Letting calls go to voicemail (even from people you like)

Ever watched your best friend's name flash on your screen and still let it ring out?

Well, you're not being a bad friend.

When I was deep in my anxiety, I'd let almost every call go to voicemail, then text back immediately: "Sorry, missed your call! What's up?"

It felt safer somehow, giving me time to prepare my response and control the interaction.

This behavior often stems from a fear of being caught off-guard or not having the "right" answer ready.

You might worry about awkward silences, saying something stupid, or not being able to end the call when you need to.

The voicemail becomes a buffer zone between you and the unpredictability of real-time conversation.

2) Over-preparing for scheduled calls

Remember when you had a phone interview and spent three hours writing out potential answers to every possible question? Or maybe you've created detailed scripts for calling to make a doctor's appointment?

I once spent an entire morning preparing for a five-minute call to cancel a subscription.

I wrote down my account number, practiced my explanation three times, and even prepared responses for potential counteroffers.

The actual call took less time than one of my practice runs.

This over-preparation is your brain's way of trying to control an uncontrollable situation.

You're attempting to eliminate any possibility of being surprised or fumbling for words.

While some preparation can be helpful, excessive scripting often makes conversations feel more stressful and less natural.

3) Procrastinating on returning calls

That voicemail from your dentist has been sitting there for two weeks, hasn't it? You know you need to call back, but somehow there's never a "good time."

This procrastination is avoidance.

Every day you put off that return call, the anxiety builds.

You start worrying about having to explain why it took so long to respond, which adds another layer of stress to an already anxiety-inducing task.

I learned this the hard way when I avoided calling back a potential client for so long that the opportunity disappeared.

The regret was far worse than any discomfort the call would have caused.

4) Preferring text or email for everything

"Can we handle this over email instead?"

Sound familiar?

You've probably developed elaborate justifications for why written communication is "more efficient" or "creates a paper trail."

While these can be valid reasons, if you're being honest, it's really about maintaining control and having time to craft the perfect response.

During my peak people-pleasing years, I desperately needed that buffer to make sure I was saying exactly what others wanted to hear.

Text gave me time to analyze every word, ensuring I wouldn't disappoint anyone or say the wrong thing.

5) Physical symptoms when the phone rings

Your body reacts before your mind even processes who's calling.

Heart pounding, palms sweating, that sick feeling in your stomach.

Sometimes you might even feel dizzy or short of breath.

These physical reactions are your nervous system going into fight-or-flight mode.

Your body is treating a ringing phone like a genuine threat.

I used to keep my phone on silent constantly because the sudden sound of ringing would make me jump out of my skin.

Understanding that these are anxiety symptoms—not signs of actual danger—was crucial in my recovery journey.

6) Creating elaborate phone rules and systems

Maybe you only answer calls between certain hours, or you've designated specific ringtones for people so you know whether it's "safe" to answer.

Perhaps you always need to be in a specific room or sitting down before you'll pick up.

I had a whole system: Work calls only before 5 PM, family calls only when I was alone, friend calls only when I had at least 30 minutes free.

These rules felt like they were helping, but they were actually reinforcing my anxiety by treating phone calls as something that required special conditions.

7) Rehearsing conversations afterward

After hanging up, do you replay the entire conversation, analyzing everything you said?

Do you think of all the "better" responses you could have given?

This rumination is exhausting.

You might spend hours dissecting a ten-minute call, convinced you said something wrong or sounded stupid.

This behavior often connects to perfectionism and fear of judgment, both common anxiety companions.

My therapist once asked me, "How many phone conversations from others do you remember in detail?"

When I couldn't think of any, she pointed out that people probably weren't analyzing my calls either.

That perspective shift was powerful.

8) Avoiding phone-heavy opportunities

Have you turned down jobs, avoided certain friendships, or missed opportunities because they would require too much phone communication?

This is where phone anxiety starts significantly impacting your life.

You're letting your anxiety make decisions for you.

I almost didn't pursue freelance writing because I thought it would mean constant client calls.

When I finally took the leap, I discovered most clients actually preferred email too.

But I wonder what other opportunities I missed because I assumed they'd require phone skills I didn't think I had.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these behaviors in yourself is the first step toward addressing them.

Phone anxiety often develops from deeper fears about judgment, control, or perfectionism.

For me, it was tied to those childhood anxieties about approval and my need to always have the "right" answer ready.

The good news? These patterns can change.

Through therapy and gradual exposure, I've learned to answer my phone without my heart racing.

I still prefer text for quick logistics, but I no longer avoid calls out of fear.

If phone anxiety is limiting your life, consider talking to a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy can be particularly helpful.

Start small, maybe by calling a restaurant to check their hours or phoning a friend who makes you feel safe.

You're not broken for feeling anxious about phone calls.

In our increasingly digital world, you're actually part of a growing group of people navigating this challenge.

With patience and practice, you can develop a healthier relationship with that ringing phone.