If you've ever pretended to text to avoid someone you know in public, psychology says you likely have these 8 traits

Ever done that awkward shuffle where you suddenly become deeply invested in your phone screen the moment you spot someone you know across the street?

You know the move. Head down, fingers flying across the keyboard, looking incredibly busy with that oh-so-urgent text that's actually just you typing random words or scrolling through old messages. We've all been there, and if you're nodding along right now, you're definitely not alone.

This little avoidance dance might seem harmless, even funny, but according to psychology, it reveals quite a bit about who we are. After years of studying behavioral patterns and, honestly, catching myself doing this exact thing more times than I care to admit, I've discovered that those of us who regularly use the "fake text escape route" often share some surprisingly specific personality traits.

Before we dive in, let me be clear: none of these traits are inherently bad. They're simply parts of who we are, shaped by our experiences and how we navigate the world. Understanding them can actually help us build better relationships and feel more comfortable in our own skin.

1) You're highly sensitive to social energy

If you find yourself pretending to text to avoid casual encounters, you might be what psychologists call a highly sensitive person. You pick up on subtle social cues that others miss, and small talk can feel surprisingly draining.

I used to think something was wrong with me because networking events left me completely exhausted, even though I appeared to handle them well. After years of pushing through, I finally understood that some of us simply process social interactions more deeply. We need time to recharge, and unexpected social encounters can throw off our carefully managed energy reserves.

Think about it: when you spot someone you know, your brain immediately starts calculating. How long will this conversation last? What will we talk about? Do I have the emotional bandwidth for this right now? For highly sensitive people, these rapid-fire assessments happen automatically, and sometimes the phone becomes our polite exit strategy.

2) You struggle with boundaries

Here's something that might surprise you: avoiding people often stems from not knowing how to set boundaries in the moment. When you can't easily say, "Hey, I'd love to chat but I'm in a rush," the phone becomes your boundary-setting tool.

Growing up as a "gifted child," I learned early that being accommodating and available was part of being "good." This created a pattern where I'd rather avoid people entirely than risk seeming rude by keeping conversations brief. The fake text move? It was my way of creating boundaries without having to actually set them.

If this resonates, you're probably someone who says yes when you mean no, stays at parties longer than you want to, and then needs days to recover from social situations you never wanted to be in.

3) You're an overthinker

Do you replay conversations in your head for hours afterward, analyzing every word and facial expression? Welcome to the overthinker's club. We're the ones who see someone we know and immediately spiral into thoughts about what we'll talk about, whether we said something weird last time, or if they even want to talk to us.

The phone becomes our escape hatch from the mental marathon that starts before the conversation even begins. We'd rather avoid the interaction entirely than deal with the hours of analysis that will follow.

4) You have perfectionist tendencies

Perfectionism shows up in surprising ways, including how we handle spontaneous social encounters. When you can't control the narrative or prepare what you'll say, anxiety kicks in.

I spent years being miserable trying to be "on" all the time, presenting the perfect version of myself in every interaction. Unplanned encounters felt like pop quizzes I hadn't studied for. Learning about "good enough" changed everything for me, but old habits die hard. Sometimes that phone still feels safer than showing up imperfectly.

5) You're dealing with social anxiety

This one might seem obvious, but social anxiety often hides behind highly functional exteriors. You might excel at presentations, lead meetings confidently, yet freeze at the thought of small talk with your neighbor.

For decades, I hid social anxiety behind my professional persona. Structured interactions with clear purposes? No problem. Random encounter at the grocery store? Suddenly my phone becomes fascinating. Social anxiety doesn't always look like what people expect. Sometimes it looks like the successful professional who just happens to be really busy with their phone whenever they spot an acquaintance.

6) You value deep connections over surface-level interactions

Not all small talk is created equal, and if you're someone who craves meaningful conversations, casual encounters can feel particularly empty. You might avoid them not because you dislike people, but because surface-level interactions leave you feeling more disconnected than before.

When someone asks, "How are you?" do you struggle with giving the expected "Fine, thanks" when life is actually complicated? Do weather conversations make you want to scream? You're probably someone who values authenticity and depth, and pretending otherwise feels exhausting.

7) You're protective of your mental space

Some of us treat our mental space like a carefully curated garden. Unexpected social interactions can feel like someone trampling through without warning. This isn't antisocial; it's self-protective.

After years of networking events where every conversation had an agenda, I developed a real discomfort with unstructured social time. The unpredictability felt threatening to my mental equilibrium. That quick phone check? It's basically putting up a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your mental space.

8) You're more introverted than you appear

Finally, many phone-avoiders are introverts who've learned to "pass" as extroverts. We've developed the skills to be social when needed, but it doesn't come naturally. Spontaneous interactions require energy we haven't budgeted for.

Think of it like this: extroverts have a social battery that charges through interaction. Introverts need to charge their battery before interaction. When you spot someone unexpectedly, you might simply not have enough charge for even a brief encounter. The phone gives you a socially acceptable way to preserve your energy.

Final thoughts

If you recognized yourself in several of these traits, you're probably wondering if you should force yourself to stop avoiding people. Here's my take: sometimes it's okay to protect your energy. Not every moment requires us to be socially available.

That said, if this behavior is limiting your relationships or causing you distress, it might be worth exploring why these encounters feel so challenging. Working through the discomfort gradually, perhaps starting with lower-stakes interactions, can help build confidence.

Remember, there's nothing wrong with being someone who needs to manage their social energy carefully. The world needs both the people who never met a stranger and those of us who sometimes need to send that very urgent "text" when we spot someone we know.

The key is understanding why we do what we do and making sure our coping mechanisms aren't keeping us from connections we actually want. Sometimes growth means putting the phone down and having that awkward three-minute conversation. Other times, it means honoring your needs and taking the escape route.

You get to choose, and that's perfectly okay.